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Chapter 98 - Can I Not Feel Guilty For Loving Him?
“Hello, Rai. How are you?” I asked him as I placed a similar-looking red and white rose bouquet that I had brought for him the first time I went to see him.
“I’m here today to tell you something..” I started.
“Rai, I love you. You know that, right? But you are not here anymore. Your mom told me that it’ll be okay for me to be with Damian, but I don’t know if I deserve him. He asked me to go to Bali with him. What do you think, Rai? Can I go to Bali with him?” I stopped for a while, not really knowing what else to say.
“I know you wrote that I should be happy with him, but the guilt that I feel, Rai.. It’s not something that I can just shake off. You were sick, yet I added more to your pain. Tell me how to get rid of this guilt, Rai,” I whispered to his tombstone.
“Now Damian has changed.. A lot. Most of the time, he would j
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My Always, My Forever Chapter 99 - I Was Just One of His Conquests?
“Baby girl, are you okay?” I could hear Damian’s voice from behind me. I looked back and saw him squatting down. I didn’t know how long he’d been there or how long I’d been crying. He sat down on one of the seats and pulled me, so I sat on his lap. “Damian, what are you doing here?” My body settled against his. It felt good to be in his arms, even when he was pulling himself away from me. I would always feel better whenever I was in his arms. "I’ve finished my meeting and couldn’t reach you.” He started to caress my arms and my back. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, Damian. I didn’t know.” I quickly took my phone from my bag and checked all the miscalled and messages. He had miscalled me fifteen times and texted more than that. “I didn’t know I’d been here for that long.” I checked my phone and saw that I’d been there for nearly four hours. “It’s okay, B
My Always, My Forever Chapter 100 - I Misunderstood His Words?
The driver opened the car door for me, and I quickly stepped out. Keeping my head down, I thanked him and rushed to my door. I was so ashamed of myself. I went to open my front door and locked it behind me, not wanting Damian to follow me. I threw myself on my bed and sobbed into my pillow. I knew it wasn’t fair to want Damian not to have anyone else for five years. I had Cole, but to be just another one of his conquests hurt. I felt cheap. His driver must be laughing inside at me. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Damian yanked me upright, so I looked at him. He was furious at me. I had forgotten that he had a key to my place. “If you can ask me that question, then there is something wrong with YOU, not me.” I tried to stand up and get away from him, but his hold on my arm was too strong. I couldn’t get away from him. “Me? You were the one who went all cold out of a sudden,” he sna
My Always, My Forever Chapter 101 - Did He Have Traumas Like Me?
The next day was when we were to go to Bali. Damian had booked us a night flight so we could go see little Rai before we went to Bali. I was busy making sure that everything was in order. I checked and replied to all my e-mails, and I called Rai’s mom to check what else little Rai needed and prepared them. I called my mom to tell her that I was going to Bali today and asked her to tell the maid to come to my place once every two days to clean it up. My mom and sister were going on tours across the US and Europe for the next three months. She was going to meet me in Bali after that if I was still there. I used to be close to my mom until I was diagnosed with bipolar. At first, she was always there for me, but as the years passed, she didn’t seem to know how to handle me. She kept trying to convince me that she was always there for me, but whenever I opened myself to her, she would judge me or tell me she was in no mood to listen to my pro
My Always, My Forever Chapter 102 - What Did I Do Wrong?
When we arrived at Rai’s parents’ place, they had just finished having lunch. We entered and were greeted by Rai’s mom and dad. Little Rai came to us a moment later, carrying Leah in his arms. We all took our seats in the living room, with little Rai sitting on Damian’s lap as per usual. It still puzzled me how comfortable little Rai was with Damian. Was it really possible he felt close to Damian just because I used to tell him stories about his dad and Damian? He had never tried to call Cole ‘Daddy’, and Cole was the one who had always been there for him. But then it was lucky he didn’t try to call him ‘Daddy’, or it would be difficult to break up with Cole. “Rai, go to Mommy for a while. Uncle needs to talk to grandma.” I heard Damian tell little Rai. “Mom, can I talk to you for a moment?” he said as little Rai settled on my lap. Little Rai told me about everything that they had done since we last saw each other,
My Always, My Forever Chapter 103 - He Was The One Breaking Me
We landed in Bali and there was already a car waiting for us. Damian gave our suitcases to the driver and climbed into the car. His driver was more polite than him. He opened the car door for me, and I climbed in. The driver asked him which hotel, and he just replied, “Nusa Dua,” curtly. Nusa Dua was a resort area in the southern part of Bali which had beautiful beaches. I didn’t see where we were going or even which hotel we were staying at in Nusa Dua. I just kept looking down, following his steps as we arrived at the hotel. When he walked, I walked. When he stopped, I stopped. “Mr. Damian, your villa is ready for you.” I heard a female voice, and I looked up. We were at a beautiful resort with a beautiful interior design. It was dominated by woods, but the design was modern, with a hint of Balinese heritage. The hotel was situated on the upper part of the beach. I could look down and see the beach from the lobby. It was beautiful and
My Always, My Forever Chapter 104 - Busy, Bored, Lonely
The first two weeks in Bali, we were busy. Damian always had meetings, and I would always go with him. He even set up meetings for me with some clothing stores there, and he would always go with me. It felt similar to what we had done in Jakarta. I used to be self-conscious when going to my meetings with him, always thinking that I would make mistakes and it would be embarrassing in front of a successful businessman such as him. But he had never said anything bad. He always gave me some pointers when we reached home, but he had never looked down on me. Now I always ask him for ideas before going to meetings. Sometimes he would also ask for my suggestions for his businesses. I loved it. I felt like he appreciated my input, no matter whether they were actually useful or not. But it didn’t matter now. Other than going to meetings, he also brought me to restaurants, clubs, or any other places that he was thinking of acquiring. We would alway
My Always, My Forever Chapter 105 - I'm Not Like You
“Will arrive in ten minutes. Can’t wait.” I looked at my phone and saw Cole’s text. It was me who couldn’t wait to see him. I chose a summer dress with a plunging neckline and wore a contrasting color bikini underneath, of course my design, to wear. Cole was a man who preferred his ladies to look sexy, unlike Damian, who preferred me not to wear something too revealing. I put my hair in a messy ponytail and wore light makeup. I checked my reflection before going out of my room and was happy with the result. I was really lucky that I had good genes. My mom still looked young, and she was short too. My sister was taller than me, and most people said she looked older than me. “Where are you going?” Damian appeared in front of me as I was closing my bedroom door behind me. “Out,” I said simply. I didn’t know he was here. “Don’t tell me you are going out with some random guy.” He grabbed my arm as
My Always, My Forever Chapter 106 - How Could He?
We were ushered to a more private table overlooking the ocean by a waitress once we reached the restaurant. It was beautiful. All the tables were lit by candlelight, making the atmosphere appear romantic. "Beautiful,” Cole said as I was watching the ocean. I looked at him, and he was looking at me while holding a single rose in his hand. "Me or the view?” I laughed as I teased him. "Both.” He winked at me as he handed me the rose. This was how close we were. We could tease or flirt with each other without the other party feeling awkward or misunderstanding the words. “Where did you get the rose?” I asked as I smelled it. I never not loved roses. He picked up an empty vase from the table, and we laughed. We enjoyed our dinner, chatting non-stop about whatever that came to our minds. Dinner was delicious, as could be expected from a restaurant under
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