I never wanted to be jealous but I am when I look at families enjoying some family time at the park or at a restaurant. I miss this. I miss us being a family. I miss my family.
One thing I knew for sure is to be left alone now that I’m still alive. I can’t take it anymore. The insults thrown at me by my father and my classmates have crushed me far enough that I feel like if I don’t stop it now, I would disappear forever. I wouldn’t be able to tolerate these sufferings anymore. So, I took up the courage and voiced out.
“I’ll l-like to s-speak to you a-a-alone...“, I couldn’t stop myself from stuttering like a fool while looking down, playing with my hands to stop them from shaking.
Stupid courage wouldn’t last long. It vanished the moment I opened my mouth.
“... Of course”, the officer trailed off while squinting one of his eyes at my father but the latter scrambled up quickly.
“As y-you wish.'' my father leaned forward and kissed my forehead lightly but I couldn’t stop myself from flinching with his sudden actions.
I couldn’t stop the lump from forming in my throat, my nose tickling and my eyes burning with unshed tears. I forced myself from breaking down. If only he was always this caring and loving toward me like before. This was simply an act that he was a loving father and that he loved me. In reality, he was a beast who didn’t know the very meaning of love and who didn’t know how to love, how to care. He only knew how to beat and hate someone.
The officer’s eyes widened in disbelief when realization dawned on him but he only spoke when my father closed the door behind him.
“Are you being abused by your own father?'' he questioned me, with a sympathetic look sporting the features on his face.
I blinked back the tears which already welled up to the brim of my eyes.
For once, without hesitation, I was determined to tell him everything.
I made up my mind and with great courage, I told him everything because I was tired; tired of my own life and tired of the sufferings I had to endure.
Two days later;
I hugged myself once I stepped out of the police car. It’s too chilly out here, my teeth clattered noisily once a light breeze swirled around me. I wished that I had put on some more clothes, like at least a pair of jeans to keep myself warm. I squinted into the dark, since it was already night time to make out the outline of the big house... no, no, no... It was a mansion standing tall in front of me. It was so huge that it loomed over us out of the darkness.
“I think he’s already at home. Come on, let’s -” Jason muttered as he came to stand by me, rolling my big red suitcase by his side but stopping it by his feet when I interrupted him.
"- are you sure? I think it’ll be better if I just stay at some apartment -
"- are you crazy? Your father has gone missing. For all I know, he might be already watching you from afar and you want to live alone by yourself?” Jason shook his head in disbelief, like he couldn’t believe my audacity.
I shivered once that thought crossed my mind and the cold wasn’t helping at all. I feel like I’ll catch a cold by tomorrow if I stay outside like this. I’m such a fool. Who, in their right state of mind, would travel outside during spring in a thin hospital dress? I had my sweater on but it was not enough. I did not know that it would be this cold here, so I was not prepared for the cold weather. I never really got the chance to change into some comfortable and warm clothes too. However, it was necessary for us to get away from the hospital; from that town as soon as possible because according to Jason, my father will be back and I needed to get away while I still can.
I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up straight like vines, sending a cold chill down my spine, just with the thought of my father catching me after this. I got away but I won’t let him catch me. I can’t because I know what he will do to me after this.
I have been able to escape death once but I won’t be able to escape it once again if he manages to catch me after what I just did. I tried to escape him and trying to escape such a devil, it’s like trying to escape death which was inevitable. He would definitely kill me this time but first, by tormenting me because that’s what he does. He always tortures me first then leaves me to suffer in pain.
Jason is right, I thought.
Two days ago, at the hospital;
After basically telling everything to the officer, I couldn’t stop shaking and shivering in fright. I knew my father was just outside this room, so I was afraid of him just bursting in and beating me in anger.
However, the officer grabbed my shoulders and made me look at him straight in the eyes. I had to squint hard to see him clearly since my eyes were watery and everything was too blurry.
“Listen, you don’t have to be scared from now on, okay? It’s my job as a police officer to protect you and believe me, once I’ve said that I’ll protect you, it means that I’ll do so at all cost.” He reassured me and I simply nodded in response while gulping hard.
When he moved to go outside, I grasped tightly on his right arm, clutching it with my hands.
“P-Please, just get him away from me, I-I-I can’t - ” my voice broke at the end but he caressed my head softly and lightly with his left hand and smiled gently.
“Don’t worry!'' He said and he walked outside once my hold on him loosened.
I gripped my hands altogether and stared at the now closed door and waited, afraid of it opening to my father’s enraging face. I burrowed myself back in the soft pillow and tried to stop thinking about the consequences.
Suddenly, the door burst open with a bang once it collided against the wall. I jumped in fright at the sudden movement and noise but instead of encountering my father’s scary face, I was faced with Jason’s worried face with his eyebrows furrowed together, almost touching as he frowned in confusion. He looked deep in thought as his eyes traveled the whole room before resting on my figure.
I slowly lifted myself up with my elbows by my sides supporting my body weight as I sat up straight, resting my back against the head of the bed.“W-What happened?” I asked him while a lump made its way to my throat causing me to stutter.“Your father is gone!” he exclaimed, looking quite surprised that my father managed to escape the hospital this quickly.After a while, his face twisted in confusion.“My men are at the front entrance and they haven’t seen him go out which means that he is still in the hospital but where?” Jason said aloud, enlightening me of the cause of his confusion.My heartbeats escalated once again.“W-Where is h-he?” I couldn’t help but ask even though I knew that Jason was as clueless as me. I just needed to know where he was for reassurance. He might just pop up when I least expect it and knowing him, he might have already realized it by now that I have to
Once the doctor closed the door behind him, I asked.“Did you find my father?” I wanted to see him nod but instead, he shook his head from side to side.“Your father managed to escape the hospital. It seems to me that he got dressed as a warden boy and escaped in an ambulance with the sirens on. Your father fooled them stating that the ambulance was needed urgently for an accident which occurred nearby. He was wearing a mask as well and my men hesitated to stop the ambulance for a complete check up and let him go.” Jason angrily declared as he fisted his hands by his sides in anger, clearly frustrated that after reassuring me that he wouldn’t let my father escape the hospital, the latter still managed to get away.I felt my insides crumble and twisting at the same time as my chest heaved out with uneven breath. No, this can’t happen. He can’t escape. I thought he would be behind the bars once he got out but he got away.
A gust of wind flew by causing me to shiver once again from the cold. Without wasting another second, I pulled the passenger door open and got in the front seat. Closing the door once I was settled, I sighed at the warmth the jeep offered.Twisting my body slightly to my left, I reached out to grab my bag from the back seat. Rummaging through the stuffs in it, I prayed to God that my father at least packed one of my sweaters in it. Feeling through the clothes, I felt my fingers touch something warm and cotton-like. I pulled it and smiled as I saw one of my black sweaters. This should work for the time being. It would keep me warm enough throughout the way back home. I zipped up the bag and kept it back on the back seat. Immediately, I wore the sweater and swooned at the comfort it had to offer and leaned my back against the seat.I glanced around and couldn’t help but conclude that at night, the hospital grounds looked kind of creepy. Other than the other police
After a while of re-thinking everything, I nodded in agreement.“Let’s go get your stuffs then.” He uttered and then sighed in relief or in exhaustion, I couldn’t tell.Once we got everything packed and in the back of the jeep, we were ready for the journey ahead of us.For me, it will be a much needed journey where I will be able to start afresh at a new place among new people but I was also anxious as I was not really ready for what lies ahead of me. I was oblivious to the environment of the new place and the people there but I was ready for a new beginning.I glanced at my house for one last time and gulped hard to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat as I felt my nose and eyes prick with unshed tears. It was a familiar feeling I have felt all these years and I couldn’t easily forget the sensation of it as I thought of my mother and the good memories I had of her in this house. I watched my house until it faded to
What I heard then, was the sexiest and deepest voice that had my heart skipping a beat but I kept my eyes downwards, somewhat finding my worn out sneakers much more interesting than knowing the owner of the voice. I frowned in confusion though because I never had my heart reacting in this way. Am I falling sick? I can’t be afraid of him since I don’t even know him. I am sure then that I am falling sick and it is related to my heart. Maybe some heart problems? I decided that remaining quiet at this moment would be a wise thing to do, so, I stayed silent and let Jason do the talking. I will look into my heart disease later on when everything related to my new place of residence is solved. For now, the only thing important to me is having a new place to live; a safe place where my father wouldn’t be able to reach me. “You’re here. What a pleasant surprise." the voice said with a tiniest bit of sarcasm and arrogance but with a hint of mockery too. I felt a light
Why can’t I breathe? I pried at my throat, trying to remove the thing strangling me, preventing me from getting an ounce of air in my lungs. I shook my head, kept on trying to get away while trying my level best to remove the grasp around my neck but I just couldn’t. What’s happening? What’s wrong with me? “Fuck! She’s dying - “Shut the fuck up!'' I heard the guy shout.... no whisper over to someone. He sounded so far away. Have I succeeded in getting away from him? I wanted to open my eyes to search for Jason but I just couldn’t. I could feel dots of blackness covering my eyesight and my head spinning before I could feel myself falling, falling hard but only to be caught by a pair of strong arms. Only one thing I’ve been able to see is Ryder’s twisted and worried face as he leaned over my face, too close for my liking. But, I couldn’t do anything to get away because I fell in a tunnel of blackness which went deeper and deeper and deeper. I don’t want
How hard was her life back there that she tried to commit suicide? Her father must be one hell of a bastard. How could a father abuse his own child, his own blood?I shook my head to get rid of those unwanted thoughts. Shame burned up the back of my neck when I pushed those thoughts away before they could invade my mind yet, the single thought that pervaded was the fact that I shouldn’t care about someone else. This is not me. I can’t go soft just for anyone. There’s no place for another person in my life apart from my brother, Michael and my buddies. I have never let anyone fight my battles for me and I wasn’t about to start now. I must stay focused on my goal.“I hate to break this to you but Michael is not home.” I simply shrugged. I may sound like an arrogant jerk to some people but I don’t give a fuck about what they might think about me. Nothing else matters when it comes to my family.“He’s not here? B
I ended up walking up to my bedroom with Lea’s stuffs. I furiously threw her luggage by the door and shut the door harshly with a bang that echoed in the empty hallway.I sat down on the edge of my bed and let my head sunk down to rest on top of my outstretched palms. I placed the heels of my hands on top of my closed eyes and rotated them in circles. I would always do this whenever I feel like I had to calm down. I shouldn’t vent out my anger on the girl. She had nothing to do with this. It’s my brother who plotted all of this, him and his sick games. I just don’t understand the purpose behind all this.I kept my eyes close for a few seconds and forced myself to calm down. After a while, I glanced up and the first thing my gaze settled directly on Lea’s luggage. I sighed dejectedly. I got up, picked up her stuffs and arranged them neatly across the room. I perched down to keep her luggage from tumbling over when one of her bags was about