29. "Bathtub"

Emma

A shower for me was always a way of getting away from all my problems. Ever since my mother left, when I wanted to get away from everything, I would just sink into the shower and let the water wash away everything I was feeling. Now that I'm an adult, that hasn't changed.

I always thought a lot, maybe that was my blessing and my curse. Here I was in the bathtub, thinking about everything I was experiencing.

Sometimes, or almost every day, I thought it might be a dream. That I wasn't here, that I couldn't be married to a man whose ego was bigger than his own nose.

I wanted to get away from my thoughts. From myself, if that were possible.

Is that why people commit suicide or take desperate measures?

Not that I wanted that, it was just a thought, one of more than a thousand I had in one shower.

I looked at myself in the mirror, and it was strange, now I felt like a woman, I don't know if it was after my first time, which wasn't as I had envisioned it. It was with a handsome man, eve