lies

I watch the palace workers move around my palace in disarray as they prepare for the coming of Princess Deze.  They carry different items, from lockers to flower vases and paintings for the princess chambers. Frankly I would have preferred the Princess to stay else where and not in my personal palace.  If I had done that, it would have created issues with the nobles about keeping to tradition. 

Tradition demands that Princess Deze stays with me for at least 40 days before any marriage preparation can begin.  During these 40 days I'm supposed to court her and make sure she gets accustomed to the palace and the unique ways of our kingdom. 

This would all be easier if Princess Deze takes this marriage as politically as I do. Something tells me that she might have romantic ambitions considering she is so young.  She is just in her 20th year, at that year all females are obsessed with the idea of first love. 

A palace worker stubbles into me dropping a plain black flower vase, it falls with a clash to the floor but doesn't break. She falls to her knees immediately and cries, "Your Majesty, have mercy." Her fear penetrates into my senses making me dizzy.  This is why I don't like to relate with humans most of the times, their emotions are too flimsy and I can't block it. I feel everything they feel, like this girl irrational fear that's almost like I would kill her for simply stumbling into me.

"Its okay" I say bluntly.  She looks up at me and her energy instantly changes to that of adoration. 

"Thank you, your majesty," she stammered.

Being the king is mostly suffocating, people always act on eggshells around me like if they breathe wrongly I will call lightening to strike them down.  Technically, I can do that; it is within my power to call on lightening, but why would I? Most palace workers are too perfect to be interesting, they all act the same.  When they are not scared of me, they are complete fans. I shouldn't complain about the adoration part because it does make me stronger.  Nevertheless, it is imprisoning. Sometimes I feel like leaving it all.

I'm about to go back to my room when I see her . Aurora.  She is walking beside Madam Iwin balancing two trays on both hands.  As she comes closer, I duck into the room beside me, hiding by the door. We have spent four days together now and she haven't realized that I'm the king.  I don't know why I'm putting so much effort into keeping it from her when it is absolutely impossible that she won't find out. However I am scared that when she finds out she would start treating me like everyone else does and whatever this thing is between us would change. 

As she comes closer I start to feel her energy that fills me with peace.  I'm drawn to it like birds are drawn to flying or humans are drawn to believing in gods. Every time we are alone in the garden, all I want to do is wrap my arms around her. 

"I always miss her so much" Aurora said and I saw a tear drop slide down her face as she thought about her mother.  I restrained myself from wiping her tears. I always restrain myself from touching her. I imagine that touching her would be like jumping into the sea on a hot summer day; the water would wrap around your body in a cool, welcoming embrace. One thing about swimming in the hot summer weather is that you don't like to leave the water.

I am resolved to never seeing her in the garden again.  There is no point, and besides, I don't even know what I want from her. Marrying Princess Deze is my duty to my father and now also my duty to the kingdom. Princess Deze is the daughter of Dicha, who is the most powerful goddess. An alliance between our kingdom will definitely make my rule stronger. 

Those are the logic to it all.  And all my life I had always lived by logic; why break it for a human girl?

I wait till her energy fades out completely before leaving for my room. 

Aurora Pov

My shoulders hurt from balancing trays, and my legs hurt from climbing stairs. In spite of it all I'm putting on my best smile because according to Madam Iwin palace maidens only smile.  So I smile and smile some more till my face muscles start to twitch. 

We pass through corridors in the king's personal palace as she told me the names of several rooms I'm supposed to remember.  I wonder if Madam Iwin ever gets tired.  For her age she should be tired by now but I seem to be the only one disturbed by the countless stairs climbs. 

Her long royal robe flows dramatically as she walks; her feet seem to float without much sound as they glide along the floor. 

Finally, the princess room is fully made after several shouts from Madam Iwin. It is without question unnecessaryly huge.  It is thrice as big as our dining hall which I already think is quite big.  The walls seem to go on forever as they reach the plain white ceiling. The east wall is designed with a green wallpaper that has trees and flowers drawn into it.  The west wall is designed with a similar green wallpaper but with painted green rubies. A crystal ornament hangs in the middle of the ceiling, catching the sunlight and giving off a beautiful sparkle. On the south wall is a large portrait of what I believe to be the princess. She's looks like she slightly more human looking version of the goddess Dicha.  She has round kind looking green eyes.  Her hair is in an elaborate royal hair do that loops like a basket on her head.  Her smile is intimidating, yet friendly.

"Stop staring and arrange the princess things," Madam Iwin commanded, interrupting my admiration of the princess. 

She points at several bags on the floor.  I guess it is normal for belongings to arrive even before the person. 

"You should already know where each of these belongs," she said, as if daring me to say no. I nodded, hoping that I would remember the royal arrangement I read in her guidebook. 

Kibi has been helping me study, he knows a lot about everything in the palace.  There is something about him that is guarded.  Almost like there is a part of himself that he is keeping away from me.  He never talks much about himself and avoids most questions I ask him.  Especially the ones about his family.  He has an enigmatic air about him.  From his face he seems to be no more than 28 years of age but when I look at him in his eyes, he seems like an old man.  Whenever he looks at me I feel like all that he is to me right there in the garden is all that matters. 

Excitement buzzes through me as I think about meeting him this evening. I shouldn't feel this much for someone I just met.

After arranging all the princess things, which managed to exceed my expectations of extravagance, Madam Iwin dismissed me. I walk out to the corridors hoping I will find my way to my room.  I'm passing a corridor that is brightly lit with candles when I see a gilt portrait on the wall; its frame is encrusted in golden metal. At the bottom is king Zao written in fine cursive.  I take a few steps back in order to see the face of the king. 

I gawk, closing my eyes as if closing it will make me seeing clearer. I gawk again. "It can't be" I say to myself out loud. It is staring at me but I can not accept it. The skin, the eyes, the shoulders, the jawline, the cheek bones. Kibi I thought. I close the space between the picture and me, reading the inscription on the bottom. Still the same, King Zao. I step back again, examining this face, in this painting.

Paintings might not be exact; Kibi only looks like the King in paintings. The more I made excuses for myself, the more I knew the truth. That same brooding look, the intense glare Even from a painting, they have a seeming presence. 

I don't know how to feel, but all I know is that I'm never going to that garden. 

At dinner, I picked up all my food, tossing vegetables around the plate, not listening to Soka and Niola's conversation. 

"How do you feel about the Princess coming in 2 days" Niola asked me, breaking my trance.  I smile weakly, the least thing I want to think about is the future wife of Kibi, King Zao.  The whole thing sounds so ridiculously funny in my head that I have to stop myself from laughing out loud to prevent looking like a lunatic. 

"I feel nervous but excited," I replied.

"Don't worry you will do just fine" Niola assured me. 

I can see Soka examining me, but I do my best to ignore her. In the few days since I have known her, Soka can already read me easily. I certainly do not want any probing from her. Even if I want to tell her something, what exactly do I say.  I was kind of falling for a cook who turned out to be our king? 

I zombie myself through the rest of lunch, trying to laugh or smile at all the right parts of the conversation. 

In the room I rush into bed trying to avoid any conversation with Soka that might lead to her asking me about my mood.

In bed I wonder if he went to the garden and how he felt when he didn't see me.  He probably felt disappointed at not being able to have his little fun time with a palace worker.