49

"If I say yes, you'll marry me?" He said seriously.

I was like a cat poured with cold water. Fuck! I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't be joking like this because I know I'm the loser.

I swallowed, as if something had stuck in my throat. I looked away and tried to keep a straight face. Didn't made obvious to him that I was affected by the conversation. Or did he notice?

Even if you say yes, I can't marry you. Even if my question is serious, it won't be true, we won't get married because I already have a fiance. And damn, I have no idea who.

"I, I was just joking." I said. I pretended to laugh, but the truth is there is a bad feeling in my chest. A few seconds passed, and we just stared at each other. I waited for him to talk, because I had nothing more to say. Affected by the joke that didn't make me laugh. It made me realize that I didn't have a serious relationship with him. I was reminded that even if the man I want to marry chooses me, someone else is bound to marry me.

It