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chapter 22

Joan pov

The day went on and on. Turning on my bed, I masturbated. I watched myself in the mirror to see if anything changed. I watched a movie, but all I saw were vessels playing to a script. I felt nothing but sex. That was all I could think about: who was coming to my door, why the house was so quiet, and why I chose to stay at home.

Mom was okay. She took her meds, and her husband was by her side, massaging her foot. I called in sick, but I was already tired of staying indoors.

The time went by slowly, and I wished I was back at school, but it was already too late. The section for the day was closed, and it was time for students to go back home, which meant Fred was coming back as well. Don’t get me wrong, but I was elated. Maybe I needed someone to talk to—someone who I could relate to. I wasn’t in any way relating to him; I just liked his company.

He didn’t sleep at home, and my first guess was that he might have slept at his girlfriend's house. I had asked Anna about their rela
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