BRYANFirst of all, Wow. Wow because the weather here is not what I at all imagined. I literally had to rush to the nearest convenience store on landing here to get padded jackets, it's so cold. And quite sadly, I haven't had my car brought here yet, I'm giving it some time, so public transport has been the go to way.Maine is small, and from what I've seen, has less job opportunities and quite a higher cost of living, which is one of the reasons this job was very exclusive. Work has been particularly hectic, I literally never worked like this in my life, and it's only been few days. There have been back to back surgeries, researches, meetings and paper work, and I'm only given a few hours break, I barely get time to talk to anyone, which is the only reason why I haven't even tried to call Diana. I don't feel like I should talk about Diana, but what else occupies my thoughts these days? What else has occupied my thoughts for the past few months?Everything reminds me of her. And it
DIANAAlmost like God himself wants me here, the management called to inform me that all staff were given a two week break from work due to some company policy, and that gave me extra two weeks here. So I'm total, I've been here for two weeks now, and I have one week left before the sadness that is LA envelopes me. Or maybe it's just the loneliness that comes with Bryan not being in my life, either way, LA has sadness waiting to envelope me.I and Adrian have been getting along pretty well. It took him about three nights to completely show me around the place like he promised. After that, we've pretty much only texted on phone.Until yesterday, he texted:_“Hey Diana, I'm sorry we've not been hanging out so much, I know I promised you that your remaining time here would be amazing, and I still stand my ground on that. So what do you say about dinner tomorrow? 7pm. I would pick you up at the cafe. Expecting your positive response!”_Before I could reply, I showed Denise the text, she
DIANAI should love this for myself, I should love the way things are going. But I feel so uneasy, I'm trying not to blame it on the call Bryan put through, and how he's literally now in my head. I wanted this, I wanted to get my mind of Bryan, and I wanted to use someone else, I found my someone else, and yet it's not working. I was excited to have sex, the perfect person has come by, the perfect moments, but it still feels all wrong.I look down at my chest, spotting the locket Bryan gifted to me, I caress it with my thumb. Most original present I've ever received, it's pretty little and fashionable, so I wear it all the time, I shower with it and do literally everything with it, and the gold still hasn't washed off in any way, infact it glistens more with every bath I have.My attention returns back to Adrian. The words “I can't do this” or “Please can we head back?” are at the tip of my tongue, but the little smiles Adrian chips in at me from time to time on the ride to his place
BRYANIt's been two hectic months here in Maine, two months of heavy traffic, numerous work researches, tiring surgical procedures, different people, and two months of trying to adjust to the lifestyle here in Maine. Two months without communication with Diana, and very few conversations with Mike. Actually, Mike is the only person keeping me sane, in the sense that he gives me little information about Diana, like when she cut her hair a bit shorter and got it straightened, and he sneaked a picture in for me.Or when she looked absolutely stunning on make-up she put on for a colleagues house warming party. Which got me absolutely worked up, because I definitely believed it was a date, until Mike convinced me with pictures. Mike also keeps me going with encouragement of course, even though I keep lying to him that it's amazing over here.Sometimes I can't believe things feel like this, I probably should have made my research before coming here, but I was so engrossed in wanting to be
DIANAThe last time I contemplated calling Bryan was two months ago, Denise made me stop. And since then, there has been no communication between us. He never called, or texted. And I never did either.It's so sad how much so Bryan was part of my life, and now, he isn't. And the bigger shock is how he hasn't tried to reach out, or find out how I'm doing or if I'm okay. In as much as I'd like to believe he's in the same shoes as I am, contemplating calling me or not, my case is different because I have Denise and Lynn stopping me every time I want to, but I don't think there's any body stopping Bryan, Mike wouldn't. But I've learnt to live with the truth, that maybe Bryan just isn't for me.On returning to LA, alot of things shifted, which had me making new decisions. For starters, Mira was going to move in with Daniel, and that meant I had to move out. Even if I wasn't asked to leave, I would have. These people have no shame making out in every corner of the house. So I've been looki
BRYANThey say you don't know what you have until you lose it. I never knew what LA was to me, until I lost it. I've been back here for almost a week, but I've been sorting things out at work and at home. So I never really had time to visit Mike in his apartment, or really, see Diana.Thankfully, management at work just thought I was off on some family issues, for two good months. I'm just glad they still appreciate my presence here.Once everything is properly sorted out, and I have free time, for the first time in over two months, I make my way to Mike's apartment, hoping even more to see Diana. Wishing to see Diana.Well, what do you know? Wishes do come true. The elevator to the top floor opens, and there's Diana. I stand for a hot few seconds staring at her, and trying to let out a few words. I don't know? Maybe a greeting? A hi? or an ‘It's good to see you’. But as always, the damn words fail me, they just don't come out. So I stare. I stare at Diana.I stare at everything I've
DIANA“Okay Diana, your turn.” Bryan says.“Why are you really back?” I ask again, curious.“I thought I just said ‘your turn?’ That means your turn to tell me how your stay here was while I was gone. Not your turn to ask me questions. Plus I already answered your question like 5 minutes ago, remember? When I said you were the reason, and a bunch of other things.”“Then why exactly are you back for me?” I ask turning away from him, waiting for whatever his answer may be.“I don't know? Because I miss you? Because I miss what we had? It's just you Diana.” He sighs, “We're past this Miss Walter. Tell me how your stay was, or I might be forced to make you talk.”“You can't make me talk Bryan.” I roll my eyes at him. But he wasn't joking. He puts his hands around my waist, pulls me closer to him and locks my legs in his. I gasp and then he looks me in the eye. “I'm going to tickle you. You have five seconds.”“Fine, I hate tickles, just let me go.” I plead in laughter. And it's all star
BRYAN“...and I love you.”Those are the words that leave the beautiful and enticing lips of Diana. I hear them, and then it's a second, then two seconds, then three seconds, then four seconds, and then five seconds, before Diana starts calling out my name, and I'm forced back to the consciousness of the environment around me.“Bryan?”“Bryan?”“Bryan?”“Yh?” I reply, almost still lost.“Are you okay? Did you even hear me?” She asks in a chuckle.“Yes D, Thank you.”Thank you? I must be a fool.There's silence for a hot five seconds, before she forces an awkward smile and says: “Okay.”There's so much pain in her voice when she says that, that it sends a sting to my eyes. Once again, those words that always fail me, I can't say anything, I don't know what to say.I take in a deep and frustrated breath, and I try to explain. I want to explain, but I'm not sure I know what exactly is wrong, or why exactly I froze. Why exactly I can't say those words “I love you” back to her, especiall