Chapter 48

It hurts me, it hurts me too much. I feel so overwhelmed by my emotions but the chaos remains unseen for I can't afford to be vulnerable on the surface.

But I don't feel like myself anymore.  It felt so heavy in my chest.

There's something heavy pounding inside and I can't explain it.

These past few days staying here in this hella room of this shit hospital, all I can do is stare blankly at the walls and think again.

Then I end up blaming myself. Blaming myself for everything.

I blame myself because it's haunted me.

Because those traumas, choke me in ways I cannot escape. 

I see myself stuck