The dark sky was covered by glittering stars, and the full moon proudly shone in the night. We didn’t need the lamp post light to guide us on our way to the park. The moon has done its part. Suddenly, I regret walking in the park with Albert. He looked like a Greek god wearing a white polo shirt and white pants. I was so busy hating him that I almost forgot how regal he was when he moved and walked. He was also taller than me. That’s why I had to look up just to glance at his beautiful face. He was perfect in many ways.
He stopped walking and looked at me. “Enjoying the view?” He grinned.
I panicked and turned my gaze somewhere else. “Yeah. The sky’s beautiful.” I was thankful it was night, he didn’t see my cheeks flushed like a red apple. For a long time, I loathed him, but now, I’m hating myself more.
I led him to the picnic table, and we sat across from each other. As much as my heart was aching to love him even just for today, it also reminded me that falling for him would lead to my futile future.
“Selene, I think I’m in love with you,” He said each word carefully. He, himself, seemed confused with his feelings as well.
I was dumbfounded! It was straight to the point. In our other lifetime, it took us many breathless kisses before saying those words. I looked down and fidgeted. I just realized now that no matter how deep my grudge was, there was still a possibility of giving in to him. I forced myself to smile.
“Please...” My voice cracked. “don’t say that. Don’t even like me.” It was more like pleading than simply stating. My family and I suffered in the future. That should be enough.
“Why?” His voice was almost as sad as mine. It’s funny that it sounded like we were breaking up. “Did I do something wrong to you? Is it my status? Is it because-”
“That’s a lot of questions, Albert,” I said cutting him. “We’ve just met today, and...”
“My point, exactly, we’ve just met today, but you’re not even giving me a chance. You’re rejecting me just like that. I don’t know what’s the problem, ‘cause I think you like me too.”
I sneered. “You’re crazy. Don’t you think we’re pushing ourselves here?”
“Then look at me and at least, tell me you don’t like me.”
My greatest mistake today was meeting his eyes. I swallowed hard. He smiled as if he won the battle.
I fumed with anger, not to him, but for myself, because not in this lifetime that I will give in. Again.
“You don’t even know me. I don’t even want you to be my friend. I don’t want you to complicate my life.” I stopped. Knowing we’ve just met today, as I have pointed out, I think I was being too harsh.
He was quiet for a while, then he nodded. I sighed in relief. I thought I would have to explain more. Of course, I won’t be able to avoid him. I have no plan of ruining my best friend’s wonderful and romantic relationship with Ed. I just wanted to change ours, especially mine. People can call me selfish, but those decades of hardship, pain, and loneliness will never suffice the emotions I am sacrificing now.
My heart suddenly had this pang of emotions seeing those gloomy eyes. I almost groaned. He didn’t deserve this. My logic was telling me everything in my past had not happened yet. It can be avoided.
“I’m sorry,” almost a whisper. I could not understand why, but I was about to cry.
Half-smiling, he shook his head. He took a deep breath before standing.
“Give me time to process everything, Selene.” He stopped. It seemed he was thinking of the right words to tell me. “I just got rejected,” His laugh was short and bitter as he placed his right hand at the back of his neck.”Ugh!”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, too. Now, it’s not just my heart and brain having arguments over this situation. I felt all my cells in the body were telling me I was being unfair to him.
“Good night, Selene, ” That’s all he said and left. He did not even look back. As soon as he was out of my sight, I buried my face on my knees and cried. What did I do in my past life to suffer twice?
My parents were watching TV when I came in. I squeezed myself in between them on the sofa as we watched the accident that just happened two hours ago. I have seen this and read it many times.
“That’s terrible,” My mom commented as we saw the rescuers and police officers busied themselves helping the victims. Most of them were planning to go clubbing that night.
“Albert could have been in that accident,” I said.
My mom tilted her head to look at me. “Is that why you brought him here?”
“You’re weird,” Sienna butting in and squeezing herself too in between me and dad. “Do you like Albert?” She whispered, as if our parents couldn’t hear it. Both my parents looked and waited for my answer.
“No.” A one-word answer is safe.
“Liar!” She retorted. “I saw the way you look at each other. Your eyes can never lie, Selene. I know you. You’re a bad liar. And oh,” She turned to me, “I saw you at the park, the way he looked at you... it’s intense.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You’re stalking me?”
She scowled at me. “Not you. Albert.”
I leaned on Sienna’s shoulder. “I can’t like him, Sienna.” I did not know why we’re whispering when our parents could hear us both. Now, they were quiet and pretended to watch the news.
My sometimes-annoying-sister sighed. “Yeah. It’d be complicated,” she said, but then she looked at me. “But it’d be cool to have him as a friend,” she grinned.
I wish I could tell Sienna, that we couldn’t even be friends. If I’d be honest, everything was confusing now because of the impact of the inconsistencies I made. Like now, we’re not supposed to be sitting here in the living room together. She should be upstairs chatting to her best friend on the phone. I was supposed to be in my room, too, thinking about our first kiss. My heart was supposed to be in its ecstatic state today, but at this moment, it was as if my heart was beating slowly and soon be dying of loneliness.
---
I let my heart cry out as I slid under the blanket. I cried in silence and thought of the long years of missing him and hating him. I tried to close my eyes and thought that tomorrow, as I wake up in my 55-year-old body, this additional weight of pain would be unbearable.
“Selene!”
Startled, I opened my eyes as I heard a hushed sound of my name. Then a pebble thrown in my bedroom window made a clacking sound. I was just glad it was a small object. I was afraid it might break the glass. I ignored it, but after a few seconds, another pebble hit the glass. I groaned as I sat at my table. I turned on the lamp on my side table and went to peek at the window.
“Selene!”
Albert? I was surprised to see him outside. I opened the door immediately.
“Why are you still here?” I hissed. I thought he left already.
“We need to talk.” He said.
I shushed him. I did not want my parents to wake up and have a wrong impression of us.
“Come down here,” He asked me while playing with the few pebbles in his hand.
“And If I don’t?”
“I’ll go up there.” He returned the pebbles to the ground and started to make his move.
I groaned. “You’re crazy, Albert. Stop it, you might get hurt.”
“I don’t care.” He grinned at me. The moon made him look like an angel trying to climb up my bedroom.
“Fine! I’ll go down. Meet me in front.” I did not wait for him to answer. I sprinted out of my room and sighed in relief when I saw all the bedroom doors were closed and probably everyone was already asleep.
The only noise I hear is the deafening sound of my heart beat. I took a deep breath as I unclasped the door lock and turned the doorknob to open. Albert was all smiling when I opened the door. I went outside, grabbed his hand, and walked a few steps from the door.
“What now, Albert? Which part of ‘I don’t want us to be friends’ don’t you understand?” I said in a low, angry voice.
He took a deep breath. “I had to know.” He walked towards me. He was so close.
“To know what?” The words almost did not come out. I wish he would step back because my heart was getting crazy and I was like a paralyzed deer. I couldn’t move. His gaze was melting me away.
Before I could ask, the warmth of his lips were mold on my own. My mind went blank, as if my erratic heart shut it down. It was a light and quick kiss but left me breathless for a second. He pressed his forehead into mine and muttered something incomprehensible. Now, my brain has totally shut down. It needed to be reset.
His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to him. He lifted my chin and his mouth descended into mine and kissed me passionately. For a moment, the time had stopped. I couldn’t think of anything else. His kiss seemed to have melted the decades of pain and loneliness. I leaned in closer and wrapped my arms around his neck. Like a hungry, mad woman, I craved for more as he continued to explore my mouth with his lips and tongue.
We barely noticed the light that went on the porch and we hardly heard the cracked of the door opening.
My body stiffened as soon as I heard dad clearing his throat. My parents were in the doorway, and were looking at us, my father in great horror; my mother with deep interest. I pushed Albert away.
“Young lady, in your bedroom. Now.” He said in a serious tone. I bit my lower lip and ran inside the house without looking back at Albert.
“You, young man, let’s talk.” The last words I heard before I ran upstairs.
Still half asleep, I rolled to my bed, stretched my arms, and searched for my cellphone. I usually place it on the side table, but my hand couldn’t find it. My arms reached out to the floor, feeling the cold wooden floor. Maybe it fell, and went under my bed again. Did I forget to turn on the alarm? What happened last night? I groaned. Instead of recalling my past evening, I made a quick recollection of what I should do today. I have to go to the agency to submit another application. In the afternoon, I had to go to Mrs. Fritz’s house to tutor her two children, then head to Jane’s to babysit her three children while she attends an important dinner event. With my eyes still closed, I sighed heavily. This will be another busy day for me. To be honest, everything was exhausting already, but I badly needed the money to pay the bills.I moaned when someone opened the curtain. The sunlight kissed my face and I murmured a complaint as I continued to search fo
My mind was wandering along the green field outside the large window of the classroom. Our professor has not arrived yet, which gave me time to process what just happened this morning.We arrived thirty minutes earlier, thanks to how maniac Albert was in driving his car this morning. I gave him a fair warning by trying to remove my seatbelt.“Hey!” He shouted when he saw me from the rearview mirror, then slowed down the speed of his driving.I care less about him being a drag racer, but we will not die today just because he wanted to prove something. I gave him a sullen look, then gazed outside the car.“Did you fight or something?” Ed chuckled as he glanced at me. “I thought you’re friends already,” He said grinning at Jane. They were suspicious of our silence about what happened last night.“She was very clear last night. She doesn’t want me to be her friend,” His voice was serious.
It was dusk when I went out of the building of the library. I walked in silence and focused my eyes on the uneven pavement until I reached the bus stop. I slumped on the seat but did not bother whether I was on the right stop or not.I observed the busy street. The sounds soothed my ears, though there were jumble of noises from traffic and human sounds. In the future this city would soon hum of cars honking, traffic, construction, and people’s noises. Good thing, music apps were created to help you escape that world until you reached the comfort of your home... if you have a home.I could not brush off everything that had happened today. The red mark on my arm has completely disappeared there, but I still tremble in fear whenever I remember the depth of anger in Albert’s eyes. I kept on pushing myself for little luck of changing my future, but the inconsistencies I made has brought events and people I have not met nor seen before. However, I was not thrille
The wide-open window invited both the chilly wind and the warmth of sunlight into my room. As I became aware of my surroundings, I realized two things at once. I was still in my 18-year-old body, and that intimate moment with Albert last night wasn't a dream. The cold gold pendant touching my skin was proof. I giggled and covered my face with my lumpy pillow as I remember his touch and kisses. But as I think back, it gave me a chill when I recall the serious tone in his voice as he put the necklace on me. He talked metaphorically like something would happen, which I would not like. If I wasn't wearing the necklace on the day we met again, would that mean he still has it with him today? Until when will I stay here this year? Did I die somewhere in the construction area? I brushed off all the questions. I may have the spirit of my 55-year-old body, but since I was in my 18-year-old body, I have duties and obligations to fulfill. I got up and checked today's sch
I put on my hoodie as I walked to the classroom. Jane waved at me as soon as she recognized me. I focused my eyes on the floor until I reached her, although there were few people inside. "Have you heard?" She asked in a hushed tone. "And what's with the eyeglasses? I thought you'll be using your contacts," I opened my book. "I was in a hurry," I answered pretending to read. She nodded. "I had to call Ed early this morning to confirm the news, and -" She was interrupted when Ed came in. He gave us a sweet smile, then walked towards us. He sat in the vacant chair and turned to Jane. "So, this is the feeling of being the third wheel," he grunted. She rolled her eyes and glanced at the doorway as the 'most iconic couple' all over the news this morning went in. Diana's arms were in his arms. She was all smiling today like she just won the lottery. Her face was as bright as the color of her dress today, a yellow plaid dress. I slumped to my
"Hi, wife!" The handsome barista, grinned as he greeted me. My eyes focused on his dimples.I narrowed my eyes thinking where I could have seen him. He looked familiar to me. His doe-eyes were attractive and expressive, the prominent structure of his nose made him look more charming, and his lips and dimples were sexier when he smiles.When his name tag became visible, I almost burst out laughing as I recall who he was.A younger version of my ex-husband was right before my eyes. I could not believe to see Edwin. I never thought I would be meeting him here and this year because I was in my early thirties when we first met.I covered my mouth with my hand. He was telling me the truth that he was truly charming in his younger days. He must be in his early twenties.He was quite a big man when I met him. Cute and plump. He won me over with his delicious dishes and sense of humor. I met him when I joined his cooking class, and a
"What is the future that you hope for, Albert?"I wanted to ask that question badly, but I brushed off his hand and walked away quickly. I heard him calling me, but I did not turn back. His scheme was tiring, and it was messing with my future, with my timeline. I have been meeting people that I shouldn't meet, and the fear of changing their lives frightened me.As soon as I got home, the basement has been my target. Just one glass of whisky would make me feel a bit better. Surely, dad wouldn't notice but before I could open the door, my kind-hearted father stepped out of the basement holding a bottle of wine. He was surprised to see me."D-dad," I stuttered as I smiled meekly."What are you doing here?" He asked as turned around to lock the door. "You're early,""I was looking for you," I lied."In the basement?" His eyes and tone of voice were curious.I swallowed and nodded. "I have to talk to you about our project," That w
Albert was standing behind me when I turned around. He was grinning at me like an idiot, while I was like dying of a heart attack. I ran, as quietly as possible, towards the door to peek outside. Sienna has just turned off the light, and my parents put Billy on his bed in his room. I sighed in relief as I closed the door without making a sound.I was sweating and trembling as I lock the doorknob. This couldn't be happening. My father would kill Albert if he found out he has been sneaking into my room for two nights now.He plopped into my bed, reached for my pillow, and began to snore.I gaped at him in horror. I tugged his one arm to wake him up."Albert!" I whispered both in anger and fear. My parents were still awake, and with my lights still open, they might check on me again.I was taken by surprise when he pulled my arm, and before I could scream, he was already on top of me, with one hand at the back of my head and the other cove