10: What A Little Music And A Head Full Of Delusion Can Do

(Song: Harder To Breathe by Letdown)

I take the backseat so I can sit with the box. The box that has my mother’s things in it. No matter how badly I want to flip open the lid, I can’t get my fingers to move. I can feel Lyra’s eyes on me in the rearview mirror.

“What’s that?” She asks.

Talking about it has my throat constricting once again. “Just some of my mom’s things.” Peeling my hand off of it, I try to forget about it. “I’ll look at it later.”

Zoning out the rest of the ride, my mind becomes fixated on that dreadful box. What’s inside it? It has my heart racing for conflicting reasons. Good and bad. Terrifying and comforting. I don’t let myself think about my mother very often, because it hurts too much. The ache of missing her is still debilitating.

Another buzz of my phone has me jolting in the backseat. Finally, I skip past the three missed calls to scroll through all the texts. Call me. Please call me Nova. Where did you hear that name? Nova. Call me. Now.

The car comes