The pleading of the unknown martyr drove me crazy, making me cry and scream, it is not clear from what more - from pity for an invisible interlocutor or from a headache.
“Sapphire, sapphire, sapphire! Sapphire!"
The emotional groan was replaced by a weak growl, and then completely turned into a quiet whine. I began to look around to see if he was imagining me, or somewhere near me I could actually see a whining dog. Although, more like a wolf. It's the wolf! Sapphire wolf...
My head was spinning, making it difficult for me to focus on one thing. I only distantly noted that it was already completely dark outside, and the full moon was clearly visible in the sky. Its light, mixed with the light of lanterns, illuminated a small park in front of my house. There was a strange desire to run in it now, quickly moving its paws, pushing off the trunks, while leaving torn claw marks on the bark ... what a strange desire ...
His body convulsed, forcing him to arch on the floor and whine plaintively. The light of the moon, which had suddenly become too bright, hit my eyes, which made me close my eyes, trying to close myself from the luminary with my hands, but for some reason they refused to obey. The indescribable smells of the night hit my nose, making up a very strange bouquet, every note in which I now felt too clearly. The pine resin on the trees in the park, the smell of sausage and cheese on the half-eaten sandwiches, the sweetish perfume, it seems to me, now seemed too cloying, causing a slight attack of nausea.
An attempt to stand up was unsuccessful. His paws slid apart, skimming across the tiles on the kitchen floor.
WHAT?!?!?! What other paws?!
Opening my eyes, and abruptly jumping up on (REALLY!!!) paws, I released my claws, mercilessly scratching the flooring. In the reflection of the glass surface of the oven door of the kitchen stove, I was horrified to see a huge black dog standing on the floor. Although this colossus seemed like a dog to me only at first. It was a wolf. At that moment, someone whined plaintively, and after a second, it dawned on me that this wolf was me! That's what I'm whining about right now! Moms!!!
- Not! No no no!!! - I wanted to scream at the whole apartment, but only a growl escaped from the mouth, mixed with an almost piglike squeal.
Rushing around the apartment in a panic, knocking down everything in my path, tearing furniture, wallpaper on the walls and door frames with my claws, I began to feel the strange presence of someone alien to me. Consciousness seemed to be divided into two parts, driving you crazy with conflicting desires. One part wanted to run into the forest, howl at the moon and hunt, enjoying the breathtaking smells of a summer night; sharpen your claws on fallen trees, maybe even take a dip in some stream, at the same time catch a fish for yourself.
Behind these strange desires, I almost stopped hearing the second part of consciousness, hardly realizing that it was this part that I was! My thoughts! And my wishes! Fear, only fear remained of me, and a quiet plea to no one knows who, to take on a human form again.
Slowly dissolving into the abyss of horror, I almost completely lost my entire consciousness to the she-wolf. She growled, taking full control of her body, periodically fading, as if listening to me, but not finding any response. It’s hard for me to say whether the she-wolf was happy about my disappearance, or this fact upset her. And yes, there isn't much left of me. Thoughts became more and more viscous and incoherent, in the last attempt not to go into oblivion, I tried to cling to at least something, but it turned out that I simply had nothing to do. There is no family, no friends, in other matters, as well as the memories themselves about anything at all. Only the look of those blue eyes that I dreamed of almost every night came to mind ...
And it was worth imagining this piercing sapphire look in memory, as the situation changed dramatically. The she-wolf whimpered and crouched on the floor, fully regaining control of my mind. And after a few more moments, a spasm ran through my body, after which, breathing heavily, I somehow sat on the floor in human form, pulling my knees to my chest and hugging them with trembling hands.
From what I had just experienced, I was pounding all over, and tears flowed down my cheeks, which I had no strength to stop. It was impossible to blame everything on a simple nightmare - the pogrom in the apartment and the clothes torn to shreds on me clearly demonstrated the reality of what had happened. Only one question was pounding in my head - what the hell was this?! But before I even had time to really think about the situation, a deafening flash of pain pierced my head, accompanied by a roar that came from somewhere deep in my subconscious.
Memory began to obligingly toss me pictures of the past. My real past, not the one I've been foolishly believing in for over a year! Bitter tears flowed in a continuous stream, threatening to develop into a real hysteria! I got kicked out!!! Kicked out of the pack! Deprived of home, family, but everything was deprived! And even memory! For what?! Because of Arthur? At least that's what the leader told me. And what happened next? I remember how they tied me to a post, how they put a gag in my mouth so that I would not scream. I remember how the leader said something to the gathered werewolves in the square, but what exactly - I did not hear. My ears were filled with my own moans and the sound of my heart beating wildly. And then I remember only the burning pain from the jaws closing on my wrists. Left - exile, right - memory erasure.
"Dog bite scars," I whispered under my breath, looking at my wrists as if seeing them for the first time. - You are dogs! Wolves don't do that!
The wolf inside me growled in agreement, expressing solidarity with my opinion. My poor thing, how hard it was for her last year with me. Everything went cold inside when stories of uninitiated wolves who lost their wolves irrevocably, living the rest of their lives with a painful emptiness inside, surfaced in memory. By the way, not a very long life.
- And how did we do it?! - jumping up from the floor, as if scalded, I turned to my inner she-wolf. Who initiated us?
Having run around the whole apartment, looking for some unknown alpha, but not finding anyone, I wearily sank into a chair. Or rather, in what is left of the chair. There was almost no whole furniture after our race with the she-wolf. The very same culprit of the mess snorted in embarrassment and fell silent, apparently she herself was waiting for an explanation.
In the community, three simple truths are hammered into us from childhood.
The first is that we can change our hypostasis only after passing the rite of initiation, after we reach the age of eighteen. The ceremony itself is quite simple, and there have never been any difficulties in conducting it. The leader of the pack, or an alpha close to him, watches how the wolfdlak is thrown for the first time, and makes sure that the bestial essence does not prevail over the human mind. Otherwise, it may turn out just an ordinary wolf, and not a werewolf. And from the animal incarnation this will no longer be returned. No one controlled my initiation, and the fact that I was able to subdue the beast on my own, without support, can only be called a miracle.
The second truth is that only alphas can change their hypostasis at will. All other werewolves are thrown only with the help of special charmed daggers. Even for the first time. The dagger is stuck into the ground, and through it, doing a somersault, a man comes off the ground, and a wolf lands. And nothing else! If you are not an alpha, then at least bruise your forehead in an attempt to change your hypostasis - nothing will work out for you. And here the second question is brewing for me, and with what fright did I spread without everything? No, this fact pleases me, but I would like to know how it happened? Alpha women do not exist! Even the daughters of leaders cannot do that, let alone me, the daughter of simple artisans.
And finally, the third truth - after the onset of the eighteenth birthday, the wolfdog has exactly three months for initiation. After this period, the wolf will no longer be returned. I just turned nineteen last month, and again, not that I'm complaining, but… How did it happen?! And why hasn't Arthur ever come to me in all the time I've been in exile? Well, it can’t be that the leader then spoke the truth! Or maybe?
With my head in my hands, in a pathetic attempt to get my thoughts in order, I got up and trudged to the bathroom, hoping that a cold shower would at least bring me back to my senses and restore the ability to think more sensibly.
“My son is ashamed that he gave in to his beast in primitive instincts and spent the night with you,” our leader told me after being locked up for almost a day. But he is a man, he is allowed to do it. Unlike you. You dishonored your family with your depraved behavior, Vladimir. If by such actions you decided to force Arthur, as a worthy man, to declare you his couple, then you were mistaken. Arthur is not interested in the one-time cheap things that creep under him for a place in the sun. You are not the first, you are not the last. But, unlike the others, you have jeopardized the honor of the entire community, and you have no right to be part of it anymore!The words of the former leader clearly lined up in my memory, as if he had told me all this just a couple of minutes ago. My heart sank painfully at the thought that this might be true. That Arthur really...The roar of the she-wolf that broke into the subconscious brought me back to my senses. She is right! Arthur couldn't do th
We lay like this for a long time, enjoying our unity and the newfound inner harmony. Thoughts flowed lazily in my head, preventing the burden of reality from falling into our small and cozy little world, ruining everything. Now all the stories about the disagreements between the werewolf and his inner beast seemed like empty tales. How can this be? Doesn't fit in the head. Everything is so simple - trust the beast, and he will trust you in return. Or is it just me?Apparently, I am a very specific werewolf. And yes, I have an unusual wolf. Previously, dreaming of going through initiation and finding my beast, I thought that my she-wolf would be the same as everyone else's - small and gray. The only thing I could hope for was that the color of her color would be dominated by lighter ash tones. And that's it! In fact, here's how it turned out. Healthy black wolf. Alpha!Slowly opening my eyes, I emerged from the habitat of the beast, again finding myself sitting on the bed. Well, now yo
Glancing over my shoulder, I bit my lower lip in annoyance. The view of my security guard was just beautiful! The floor covered in long ragged claw marks. The same marks on the walls, accompanied by hanging pieces of wallpaper. A wardrobe smashed to pieces ... Hmm ... And, unlike me, his instincts and scent have long been developed, and it will not be difficult for Oleg to understand that I was a weirdo in the second incarnation.Lowering my head, I silently waited for my verdict. I'm sure he has clear instructions from the leader, just in case I suddenly remember everything. I doubt about the change of hypostasis - after all, I have not heard about alpha girls, nor about the passage of initiation with such a long delay. But what exactly they will do with me - they do not know. Maybe they will kill, or maybe they will erase the memory again.I grimaced at the thought of waking up in the hospital again, remembering nothing. No, it's better to die than to go through this again. The wolf
Contrary to all my reasoning, I went out into the street without incident. Except for the yard cat that slipped through the door of the entrance I opened, which scared me out of my wits and made me squeal. Nerves to hell! Since I still got out of the apartment, I need to go to the pharmacy, buy myself something sedative. Otherwise, it’s not the leader who will kill me, but I myself will bring myself to a heart attack, being afraid of everything around. I wonder if nineteen-year-olds have heart attacks at all? However, I'm a werewolf! Initiated, moreover. My regeneration should be at the level, so you don’t have to worry. Yeah, I can shy away from everything until the end of my life and not worry about the state of the cardiovascular system. What a charm!It didn't take long for me to shop, so about an hour later I was back at my house, loaded down with two heavy packages. Usually I buy products at a minimum, but now the situation is a little different. I wanted to treat myself to deli
Yielding to the persuasion of the she-wolf, I decided to go for a walk in the forest. The risk, I do not argue, is huge, but if you do not go far from some small town or village in the region, then everything can end well. I hope. There were several reasons for panic. Despite the fact that the cities were mostly inhabited by ordinary people, the chance to stumble upon someone from my former community was great. Especially if I'm "lucky" to choose a town for a walk near the habitat of my flock. And I'm afraid, if this happens, my acting skills, so as not to give myself away by recognizing anyone, will not be enough for me.Well, do not forget about Igor and Oleg. Guards are assigned for a reason. And even if they sometimes go about their own business, instead of spying on me, they are still the main problem. Even if I manage to catch a moment when they are not around, I strongly doubt that they will ignore the fact of my long absence.If, before the return of my memory, I wandered arou
To be afraid of wolves - do not go into the forest,or the first useful acquaintances.- Good afternoon, Maria Viktorovna! the girl at the fitness center reception greeted me as she handed me back my club card. - Have a good workout!Squeezing out a benevolent return smile, I slowly walked towards the stairs leading down to the pool.I've been going here every day for a week now, and for five hours straight I've been going crazy from the smell of bleach! Gods, my whole idea of going to the forest through the pool does not seem so brilliant to me anymore! And if it weren’t for the she-wolf, who also suffers with me, but constantly cheers me up, I would have given up a long time ago and would have given up on everything! That's right at the moment when I first came to this damned pool! Even a nose plug did not help me get rid of this smell! But you also had to swim! Damn!But, despite the distinctly smelling minuses, there were pluses. Igor and Oleg accompanied me to the fitness cente
Unable to resist, I ran my hand over the runes on the door frame. What a huge mistake people made when they adopted a strange faith a little more than two thousand years ago. How much pain and suffering it brought. And I'm not talking now about werewolves who were skinned alive when they refused to be baptized by their prince. And not about other magical creatures who, after all the persecution, will never come out to meet with a mere mortal. What did the people get? What good did someone else's faith bring them?Knowledge that has been passed down by word of mouth for thousands of years has been washed away by the new religion. Divine creatures, who from the beginning of time lived side by side with man, were forgotten, and now they can only be mentioned in fairy tales. And what did people get in return? Churches where money is pulled from believers at every opportunity? Priests who go around draped in gold, not embarrassed to tell poor parishioners what to believe and endure? But wh
A frightened wolf is afraid of bumps,or a little bit about harsh reality.The week went by like a blur for me. I automatically went to the store, visited the pool every day, catching myself thinking that in anticipation of a meeting with Stanislav, even the smell of bleach had become something ordinary and not worth my attention. The beast was also in a state of stupor, occasionally drawing my attention to the presence or absence of guards nearby. But if during the day I was a little distracted, behaving like a person for the sake of appearance, then the nights turned into a real nightmare for me.Sleep did not go, just like when my wolf was dying inside me, causing an unbearable feeling of loneliness and longing. But now the reason was not in it. I was afraid. I was scared to death of being refused help from Stanislav and being left alone again. No, I don’t argue, Bestia will now forever remain with me together, but will we ever be able to live fully with her? Spread? Don't hide? Wh