Chapter 51

Bowden

Tonight, more than any night in so long I can barely remember the last time this happened, I crave intimacy with my mate. The three mates before Kaiya existed purely for Knox’s wellbeing, and it never progressed as far as sex with any of them.

Since Nolene died, I only had a few partners. I never humiliated my mates by taking mistresses. In between mates, I’d find myself women if I needed them. They warmed my bed, and in return, they received special treatment. I made sure they understood our arrangment, and they all accepted it.

But it was never the same as being with your mate. It was always empty, meaningless, and after a while joyless. Most of the time, it was just easier to masturbate, but without a mate, my nights could become cold and lonely, which was when I’d go in search of a mistress until Knox started to pine for a mate again.

“What is it?” Kaiya asks and contorts her body in a strange knot so she can look me in the eyes.

Instead of answering her, I smile and grip h