Julia--Braxton's Bedroom

I didn’t want to rush through dinner. I didn’t want to rush through anything with Braxton. I wanted to savor every minute, every second, that I was with him. But I have to accept the fact that this weekend will be over soon, and while we have to eat, it isn’t on the top of my list of things to do with Braxton.

When he takes my hand and leads me to his bedroom, that is on the top of my list. It isn’t just that my body lusts for his, though that is true. I do want him in ways I never thought imaginable. It’s also the fact that, when I am with him, when we are making love, I feel more alive than I have in years. I feel safe and appreciated. I feel more loved in Braxton’s arms than I ever have in my husband’s.

Those thoughts are scary when I allow myself to truly think about them, so I try not to. I try to focus on being with him while I am here. On Monday, when I am back home in my too quiet apartment with too much time on my hands, all alone, I may allow myself to ponder what it means t