Julia--Long Day

I try to busy myself with the same sort of activities that have been keeping me busy for the last two years, but it’s hard because I have absolutely no motivation to do any of them anymore. In the past, at least I got some pleasure out of doing my best to be a good wife to Jeff. Now, I know it doesn’t matter whether I am a good wife to him or not. He doesn’t appreciate me. Nothing I do can make him appreciate me, and I’m not sure I even want to be appreciated by him.

I wonder how much will really change from all of this, assuming I stay here. This morning, he asked me if I wanted to have sex instead of just taking it, instead of just using my body as a play thing and then discarding it, discarding me. He might do that again tomorrow morning, maybe the day after that. But this is Jeff I’m thinking of, and I know it won’t last. He will not be able to stop himself from going back to his old ways. Before long, he will simply stop asking and start taking again.

Then what? Will I just roll