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My legs felt weak as I melted into him. When it hit me that this was really happening, I opened wider, letting his tongue inside and remembering all too well what it felt like on other parts of my body. But despite the intimacy of that night, this moment was different—more passionate than sexual. I tasted him for the first time, breathing him in like oxygen. And I couldn’t get enough.
He flicked his tongue to nudge my mouth open wider. His chest pressed into mine, my back still against the brick of the building. Deacon’s heart beat rampantly as our tongues circled in frantic competition. I lifted my hands and placed them around his head, pulling him deeper into me and inhaling his heady scent. The vague sense of people passing us registered, as did the muffled sound of talking around us.His groan vibrated down my throat as he fisted my hair. “Fuck, Carys.”I could feel his erection through his pants as it rubbed against me. My clit was throbbing with needRelated chapters
Our Secret Baby 57
DeaconSAY MY NAME Three weeks since I’d decided to stay in New York, and there wasn’t a single moment I’d regretted my decision. I felt like the luckiest guy on Earth. I’d managed to keep my old job, despite fucking management over with my last- minute one-eighty. I got to keep my apartment because my landlord hadn’t given it to anyone else yet. But most of all, I’d managed to snag the girl of my dreams, somehow pushing aside my fears enough to allow myself to be with her.Carys found a new sitter who watched Sunny for a few hours every weekend so the two of us could have a date. My alone time with her was precious.Today was a day date, and it had been epic. We went to a diner for breakfast and talked in the window seat over waffles and endless cups of coffee. It was a rainy morning in New York City, so we were spending the last hour of our alone time at my apartment before she had to go back next door.And I’d just returned
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CarysTOUCHDOWN In the two months that followed, Deacon’s and my appetite for each other remained insatiable. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced. We had sex almost every night. He’d come over after Sunny went to sleep. We’d hang out, talk, drink wine, and ultimately go at it like animals. Then he’d go back to his apartment in the morning.Fortunately, we had a date scheduled for later this afternoon. It was a cool, crisp Saturday in September, and I couldn’t wait to go out and enjoy the fall weather once the sitter arrived. Unfortunately, I’d gotten my period, so there would be no sexy times for once.Deacon was running errands today, so he’d agreed to go to the store for me. He was supposed to be picking up super-sized tampons, among other things.A text came in not long after he left. Deacon: What’s the difference between Super and Super Plus? Carys: Super Plus is bigger, more abs
Our Secret Baby 59
DeaconLAST WORDS I’d rented a car for the ninety-minute drive north to Poughkeepsie, and it had been a smooth ride with no traffic. This had definitely been a good idea. I now held Sunny up as she sat atop one of the ponies at Archwood Farms. She was always a happy child, but the ponies brought out a level of excitement I’d never witnessed before.After the pony ride, I went to fetch Carys and me a couple of coffees from the small concession building, while she took Sunny to a grassy area with a bunch of pumpkins laid out. Sunny was now walking independently. While a little wobbly, she was fully mobile.After I ordered our drinks, the woman I knew to be one of the owners of the farm smiled at me. “Your daughter looked like she was having so much fun out there. I’m so glad you guys could come up north today.”We’d spoken to her briefly when we first arrived, but I didn’t realize she’d assumed I was Sunny’s father. I opened my m
Our Secret Baby 60
CarysNICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN Over the next six weeks or so, Charles proved he hadn’t been kidding when he’d vowed to earn my trust back. I appreciated that he was letting me call the shots on his reentrance into my life, though.In addition to abiding by a visitation schedule, he’d also begun depositing money more regularly in my bank account. I’d never refused his occasional offerings, but now that he wasn’t doing everything behind Violet’s back, he’d set up a direct deposit each month. I wasn’t going to complain. Sunny deserved his support.We’d agreed on a twice-a-month visitation schedule for starters. I gave him a few hours on Saturdays. We’d take Sunny out, and she was slowly taking to him, offering occasional smiles and responses to his endless efforts to make her laugh. It was noticeably different than her immediate attachment to Deacon had been, though.Charles hadn’t insisted on using the term dad around her, and I was
Our Secret Baby 61
DeaconCOCKBLOCKER “What are you looking at?” she asked.Shit. How long had I been staring at her? I hadn’t meant to make her uncomfortable. It was just… I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I’d done a pretty decent job of keeping Carys out of my mind this week. Then I got to the checkout line at the supermarket where I’d been picking up groceries for my grandmother. The cashier looked like an older version of Sunny. Did she think I was staring at her because she had Down syndrome? Shit. That wasn’t it at all.“I’m sorry. I know I was staring at you. It’s because you remind me of someone who’s special to me, someone I don’t get to see anymore. I didn’t mean to be rude.”She rolled her eyes, and it made me chuckle, because I could see Sunny growing up to be as feisty as this girl. My chest tightened at the thought that I might never see Carys or Sunny again.It had been three months since I’d left New York, and my life ther
Our Secret Baby 62
DeaconHINDSIGHT IS TWENTY-TWENTY Since arriving in Minnesota, I’d avoided being alone with my father. I’d gone over to my parents’ for dinner but left before Dad had a chance to corner me. He hadn’t said anything hurtful yet, but I dreaded encountering the version of him I remembered—the one who did nothing but criticize me. I didn’t need him making me feel inadequate when I already felt pretty damn shitty since leaving Carys the way I did.It appeared I could only hide for so long, though. I was shoveling snow outside my grandmother’s house one day when I looked up to see my Dad’s red truck.Sticking the shovel into the snow, I leaned on it as I watched him approach. He reached over to brush some snow off my coat, and I felt my eyes widen. It was rare my father touched me. Aside from the brief hug I’d given him when I first arrived here, there had been no other contact—no handshakes or pats on the back.I stepped back. “What’
Our Secret Baby 63
CarysTHE TEXT This was a huge day. It would be the first time I let Charles see Sunny without me being there, too. The plan seemed innocent enough. He’d brought his kids to my apartment, and they would be hanging out for a couple of hours.Talia and Xavier had recently met Sunny for the first time. Today was their third visit. The kids had really taken to her, and Sunny liked them. Allowing them to meet seemed to be one of the rare good decisions I’d made this past year.So with Sunny occupied by Charles and his kids, I was off to run a couple of errands and take a breather. I had mixed feelings about leaving her alone with them, but Charles had earned back a bit of my trust in the past few months. While I wouldn’t trust him with my heart again, I knew he was a responsible father to his two other kids. I had no reason to fear for Sunny’s safety while in his care.And also? Mama needed a breather. I mainly had a babysitter for
Our Secret Baby 64
CarysJUST COFFEE Despite saying he’d give me time to ready myself, Deacon texted me a few days later to ask if I would be willing to meet him during my lunch break on one of the days I worked in the office. I said yes. We needed to have the conversation away from Sunny.I chose Friday, but instead of a lunch meet-up, I opted to have the sitter stay late so I could meet Deacon after work. I didn’t know how I’d feel after our talk, or how long the meeting would last, so I didn’t want to have to go back to the office.Deacon was waiting in a corner seat at Starbucks when I arrived. It was my first time in here since before he’d left for Minnesota. He looked painfully handsome, dressed in all black. He fidgeted with his hands as his eyes wandered the room. His mouth curved into a hesitant smile when he spotted me. He stood.When I approached, I could tell he wasn’t sure what to do, whether to hug me or not. He leaned in and gave m
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