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June 17
Dear Henry,
I am not quite sure how to begin this letter. I would have loved to start with the seas and then move to the dry land and it would have been nice to tell you all about them but I can't because I am in a depressing state I am still trying to figure out. Two days ago, I had a bet with my aunt's friend. She said I wouldn't get well before the end of yesterday. I told her I would win. She said I wouldn't. There are days when I would have let such bets go without hesitating but I didn't. We had the bet and I lost. I am in a critical condition now. I have been in the hospital bed for two days now and the doctor is saying I will spend more days here. From a distance, I can see the Red Sea, cloaked in a fog so that I am unable to see the other end. I wish I could see the other end but the more I try to look for the other end, the less I see what is going on there.
Since today, I haven't smile much because I am too
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Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 19
I was discharged from the hospital today. The sound of Mrs. Uju's voice made my heart jump for joy as she led me slowly to her car."You will be fine, Perer. I wish you could have lasted up to a week," she said, "so you will learn to appreciate God for everything he has done in your life and in the life of your family."I raised my eyebrows, wondering if she was trying to be polite with the words she said or if she was trying to persuade me to follow her religion, her way of life that I could spend a day of my existence condemning."Besides," she added, "it will do you good to know that my daughter came here with me.""The one that doesn't talk to me in your house?" I asked, rather skeptical."If she blinks way too much then that is my daughter."I smiled, reasoning how many times I have seen Mrs. Uju's daughter in her house, always silent, always thinking about something only her could understand. Her condition suited her well. The whole blinking disorder was suited for someone of her
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 20
The boy who was wearing a black cap with an adidas logo knew he was not supposed to keep quiet when he saw a man with a gun running inside a compound close to Mrs. Uju’s house but he did. I didn’t know what to do. My heart was beating as fast as I could remember. Even my pulse was rising. Mrs. Uju was not yet back home. According to her daughter, she was in her friend’s house, discussing about the politician who was granted bail despite his crimes, despite all the amount of money he had looted from Nigeria. I stood outside Mrs. Uju’s house as I watched the man who recently entered her neighbor’s compound come out. He was looking tensed. His eyes resembled a deep black hole sucked in its own void. He looked from left to right. He left before I could raise an alarm.*It was afternoon when Mrs. Uju arrived with her friend. The people who lived across the street a
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 21
After church service was over, I stood outside the church entrance, waiting while Mrs. Uju greeted the people crowded around her like chickens searching for grains to eat.“Good afternoon, glory be to God who has blessed us with good health and long life,” she said, before shaking hands with the ministers, acknowledging the wonderful voices of the choirs, and congratulating a newlywedded couple. Some of the ministers whispered to her concerning her efforts in the church projects, Mrs. Uju didn’t whisper back. She didn’t see the need to exchange words with them when she considered service to the people of God as service to God himself.“Good afternoon, sir! This is the child I was telling you about,” Mrs. Uju said.The senior pastor of her church looked up, observed me quickly with a smirk on his face. His complexion was very light, like albino, and the hairs that covered his chest and chin were even worse. He hit his small bla
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 23
Sometimes all I can do is sit and wonder at what happens in life. I can't weep because my eyes have lost its well of water. I have cried and can't again. Everyone will always say there is hope and I strongly believe in that. I strongly believe everyone will always say there is hope and not hope itself. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just kick myself and tell them there isn't but I can’t do that because I have to always keep my mouth shut.The very day Clag died, no one knew what I did but I did it and I'm not afraid to say what I did. The very day Danny died, I drew a map on my hand to comprehend if there is a road leading from life to death or if there isn’t. I have been sitting for all these while now but now, I am looking at things in a different direction. I can't breathe but yet I live. What is the use of life? Why was I born? Why was I given emotions? Why was I told I have a great future? Why was I t
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 25
After the incident that occurred in Mrs. Uju's neighbor's house on Saturday, after the incident that occurred in Mrs. Uju's church, I want you to know that I felt bad for three days. I want you to know that I felt pain but not clueless ones. I want you to know that I felt the true meaning of a friend in need.I wanted to express the pain I felt for her neighbor through tears but Mrs. Uju warned me not to waste my time pissing her off. I wanted to express my refusal on the decision she made with the senior pastor but Mrs. Uju reminded me of her ownership in the place we lived together.Today, I asked myself about my identity. I asked myself who I am. Am I the loner who lost himself trying to search for someone else? Am I the loner who lost his past while seeking for a lost cause? Yes! Lost cause! The senior pastor of Mrs. Uju's church told her I was a lost cause, a demon infested human being with a craving to go against the will of God. What is God? A system? Who is God
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 26
Life seems to be fair to a lot of people. Life seems to be good to some people. Today, I left home to see birds perch on the bank of a river and I was speculating how they spread their wings while searching for the right flow. It has always been a cognitive content interlacing my childlike brain of how birds reach out to the sky and get instant replies. I have questioned a man once about the beauty of flight. He looked at me, shook his head and told me to ask God.Well, I want to explain it all so you may not criticize me or condemn me when I speak against God. It irks me to the marrow of my bone and passes through my arteries, capillaries and veins, leaving my lucent heart with draggled nets hanging to the tide of my belly when I think about how people react when I say I am not a Christian.I can recall mildly, when I was questioned on this subject at church. I cannot deny how annoyed I was when the girl accused me of sacred treason. To accuse me of treaso
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 28
"Perer," Mrs. Uju said, shifting her gaze, and considering her words carefully, "you know today is the day you are you going to be delivered from whatever evil spirit that is bothering you. We have talked about this several times and we have agreed you are going to receive deliverance. Or do you have something else to say?""To be perfectly honest with you, ma, I am not familiar with deliverances at all, and I didn't agree to get delivered today because there is absolutely nothing wrong with me," I earnestly confessed.Mrs. Uju sighed and acted as if she wanted to pluck all the hairs on her head at once. There were some glances between me, her, and Vine who nodded in support of her mother."Very well, then," Mrs. Uju said, watching my eyes as she spoke. "I will have to inform your aunt if you refuse to obey me.""I am not going anywhere.""You don't give orders in my own house, Perer. Do you know I am capable of throwing you into the streets withou
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 30
I reached Jane's apartment before it was 12pm. I didn't know what else to do after Mrs. Uju chased me out of her house."Who is that?" Jane asked as she turned the door knob at the opposite end."Perer," I said."Come inside."I moved silently and quickly towards the couch and waited to see what would happen. The sitting room light came on, blindingly bright; I blinked as I sat tensed."Are you sure you are alright, Perer?" Jane asked."I am fine," I lied.Jane stood steps away from me, covering her breasts with both hands. She was wearing a tank top and a plain white skirt. I knew she was worried about my sudden visit so was I."Can I get you something to drink?" She asked, wondering if she had made the best approach to get into my thoughts."No, I am fine.""You don't look fine to me," she raised her eyebrows. "What happened to you?"I kept q
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