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May 10
I started today by thinking about life and a huge aspect of me that I haven't shared with some of you who are reading this book if not all of you. I want to share that aspect of me now.
So there is this feeling you sometimes get when you think you have met someone who will be important in your life. This feeling serves as a drive to your work or as a motivation to keep on going even when you feel you are no longer getting to somewhere reasonable. I know some of you have had this experience sometimes. You may be taking a walk through the sidewalk or probably pondering how miserable your life has been that day then all of a sudden you see that special someone among the midst of a crowd of people and your heart will just rejoice and take a giant leap.
Well, this is not an entry you should waste your time reading but a way for me to assure you that there are still some good people in this world that you are yet to meet! A lot of us here have been involved in bad rela
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Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 11
She is the beauty you never seem to notice in a crowd. Yes! I am referring to Miss Bisi! She is the silent noise that never yells. Yes! I am still referring to Miss Bisi! I guess I always knew that Uncle Max would find someone special in his life. Oh! I am just grieving for a love I never knew or probably a love I never thought existed. Just not being important in a gathering is like attempting to break a hard rock. But, when comfort comes from a stranger who lives miles away from home and you wake up in that stranger's bed, you tend to view life in a different way. Am I right?I don't think love existed! I don't think love exists! There is just some unnecessary attention directed towards you and then you start to feel better than the rest; you start to feel like you are flying on top of a moon, wearing a short and a shirt with frayed arms. Some days we don't like to talk about certain things due to the fact that they all se
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 12
Dear Delaney,Is everything alright? Do you remember when we used to run on the streets with our hearts at the top of the world? Yeah, those days were quite interesting. It was great to hear from you. It is always great to hear from you, Delaney. Do you miss me a lot? Because I do miss you a lot!I couldn't send you a message or a letter for some obvious reasons. I watched a great movie today. It was really good and I thought about you after the movie. I know we didn't really get on the right path because I was really over demanding. I know I hurt you and I am really sorry for that. I hope this message brings peace into your heart! I hope you fulfill all your dreams!Hey! I will have to admit that I have thought about you several nights. You know I don't believe in God but I still managed to pray for you a few times, wondering how you were doing, and when I read your letter in Port-Harcourt, it made me sm
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 14
A lot of people have told me once or twice that I have an insatiable desire for knowledge and I agree with them, I just can't stop learning."You know there is going to be a ceremony when I propose to Miss Bisi," Uncle Max announced as I sat at the back of Miss Bisi's car."And that is only if she agrees to be my wife, because if she doesn't, there will be no ceremony. I will make sure there will be no party in any place close to my house," Uncle Max added."But who is going to marry me if it is not going to be you?" Miss Bisi asserted, smiling to herself."We just need a ring and an audience," Uncle Max repeated the same thing he said a week ago; a day after my birthday."And who is going to get the ring if it is not going to be you?" Miss Bisi fired again."Me! Me and me alone!""No, I am serious, Max," Miss Bisi insisted. It was the third time I heard her call Uncle Max by his first name."I am serious too. I will get you the ring w
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 15
The first few moments of our lives can be very exhausting because we get to come out from the vagina of a woman while bearing in mind that we are connected to her by an umbilical cord. A month later, we start to get used to our environment. We start to ask ourselves why we are inside a house with people who we don't know anything about. A year later, we are forced to stand in front of a birthday cake with our fingers holding the tip of a knife. We smile, laugh and maybe cry as we watch unfamiliar faces raise their hands and clap for the little feat we have accomplished."He is one years old," Some of our mothers would say."She is one years old," others would say.The first year of our lives starts with a positive outcome. By then, we are able to understand new things and we are able to perform new things. By then, we are able to understand that the person we have been taking milk from is our mother and the man
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 16
The purple clouds darted above my head as the bus stopped inside a park in Port-Harcourt. I was feeling dizzy but managed to follow the short line of people who were walking towards the door. Every individual who boarded the bus from Enugu to Port-Harcourt kept their eyes fixed on their luggages as if they were trying to guard it from being stolen. Uncle Max was doing the same. I wasn't. My mind was fixed on something else. Maybe because it felt strange to be visiting Port-Harcourt so soon even when I wasn't done with my WAEC exams!"Perer," Uncle Max muttered. "Do you want me to buy you a meat pie?""I am fine. Don't bother about making me feel happy.""I wasn't trying to make you feel better. I understand how hard it is to deal with the loss of a sibling. Believe me, Perer, I do understand how you feel.""Do you really understand what is going on in my mind now?""Yes I do. I honestl
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 18
It is two days now since Danny's body was placed below the ground. I still hear his voice wherever I go. It is as if he is trying to tell me something even though he knows I won't get the message because he is dead. I can't explain how I feel right now. Do I feel suicidal? No! Do I feel like living again? No! Do I feel like dying? No! I don't know how I feel but I do know that I feel empty. I do know I feel the same way that I felt when I heard that Clag was dead. Is it hard to feel death and yet pretend that it doesn't exists?I have been asking myself a lot of stupid questions today. Questions that doesn't makes sense at all but gives my dumb mind a sense of warmth. I asked myself why the sky was blue instead of green. I asked myself why we didn't have humans with green skin color. And in answer to that, I told myself that we have humans with green skin color but instead of us calling them humans we choose to call them aliens. Stupid right? Yes it is stupid but it does make
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 20
"How are you doing today? Are you feeling fine? Do you want some coffee or do you want Miss Bisi to make lunch for you?""I am fine, Uncle Max. I just need some space to breathe properly.""It has been two days now and you haven't said a word to me or Miss Bisi. It has been two days now and you have refused to answer your parents phone calls. It has been two days now and you have refused to eat any food or drink water. What is wrong with you, Perer?""Nothing is wrong with me, Uncle Max. I am just going through a hard time. It will pass immediately I get back on my feet.""And when will you get back on your feet?""I don't know, Uncle Max. Maybe two days or three days. I just want to be alone."Uncle Max took a deep breath as he sat down."Do you see what I have been passing through ever since his brother died?""I have two eyes," Miss Bisi was not in a rush to say anyth
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 21
Most of the times when I am in a bad mood and I talk, I spit out rubbish knowing fully well it will only worsen my condition. I have never really understood why people used to cut. It doesn't make sense to me at all when I start to imagine a human being sitting all alone in a dark corner, crying, holding a knife by his or her side and shredding his or her skin with the knife. I guess it feels good to cut sometimes. It takes away the pain you feel inside of you immediately your blood starts flowing away from your body. I guess it makes you to become more aware of how useless you are to the society you find yourself in.I know I will not grab a knife and cut my skin because I have tried to do it several times but can't get over the image of blood gushing out from my black skin. It terrifies me as much as running naked on a blind date. Even if no one is at home, I can't go to a secret corner, sit all alone and cut myself.
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