It has been months since that day in the hospital. I started wearing hearing aids again but I would remove them whenever I’d meet my family. I started working behind the scenes while my cousin is competently leading the company.
I also started seeing Tita Philomena every 2 weeks in a month for my sessions. We just usually talk about my anxiety and how it started and why it started attacking again. She was also my psychiatrist back in States so she already knew how to deal with my trauma. It just started coming back, so I really needed her help again.
Pagkatapos ng session with Tita Mena, I go back to my house. Sa bahay ng mga magulang ako umuuwi simula noong nakalabas ako ng hospital. Zachary suggested it because he knew that he’s one of the many reasons why I’m anxious and annoyed. But he’d still visit me at home from time to time only to receive such cold treatments from me.
Lumipat sa Manila ang tagapangalaga ng bahay namin sa Davao na si Manang Lucinda da
I look at my reflection in the mirror as I prepare for the party later. It’s Zachary’s birthday and his parents prepared a grand party for him. Today is also our 6th monthsary as married couple. Ngayon ko lang din na-realized na birthday niya na pala. Back when we were still fakely dating, I wasn’t aware of his birthday kahit nabasa ko naman ‘yon sa nakuha kong information tungkol sa kaniya, so it just passed by us. However, for some reason, he knew mine and even gave me a gift for my birthday. Ngayon ko lang siya mabibigyan ng regalo. And since our 6th monthsary is just the same as his birthday, I just decided to really gift him the contact lenses na pinagawa ko sa ophthalmologist ni Daddy. I’m not sure if he will wear it, pero bahala na. Basta nagbigay ako ng regalo at wala na akong utang sa kaniya. Pero napapaisip din ako kung bagong salamin na lang kaya ang pinagawa ko? Since he always uses one talaga. He has a poor eyesight that’s why he wears glasses. A
I wake up at the feeling of my hair being caressed softly. Ramdam ko ang mararahang halik ni Zachary sa buhok ko habang nakaunan ako sa kaniyang dibdib. I can hear his soft breathing. And I can feel his calm heartbeats.They are everything I want to always wake up to. But I know I cannot just wish for something like that because it’s unattainable. It’s too good to be true. And I know, deep in my heart, that he deserves something more.Gumalaw ako nang marahan at mas lalong dumikit sa kaniya, trying to savor every minute of us in this position. I feel secured, safe, and happy. But I also know this is only temporary. This will never last. Thinking about this so early in the morning is ridiculous, but I should at least remind myself of how undeserving I am of him before I start to become more selfish and just claim him mine... even though I knew clearly like the morning skies who actually owns his heart.Maybe I just own his body for now... but his hear
Nanatiling tahimik na nakatingin sa akin si Klaus. Hindi ko na mahinuha ngayon kung ano ang iniisip niya. But what I said is the truth. Between the two of us, mas marami siyang tinatago sa akin. I know I keep things from him, too. But those aren’t even important to our investigation. Mas marami pang importanteng bagay tungkol sa kaso na kailangan namang pagtuunan ng pansin. The things I know are just minor details and I’m not even sure yet if these things might really help. Dahil sa ngayon, sinisigurado ko pang may halaga iyon sa mga plano namin o wala. At malakas ang kutob ko na wala naman. Kaya hindi ko sinasabi sa kaniya ang mga ‘yon. And I know for sure that the things he’s keeping from me are way more important what I’m keeping to myself. Suminghap ako bago muling nagsalita dahil mukhang wala siyang balak umamin. “You are my cousin’s friend, Klaus. Right now, I cannot trust my cousin. I can’t even trust my uncle. How sure am I that you aren’t con
I was confident that I will never fall in love with him. Maybe because I had everything I needed, except of course, for my parents. I just did what they wanted me to do. My parents wanted me to marry Dr. Ricaforte. And I did.It was not my intention to fall in love with him. It wasn’t in my plan to be this madly in love with him. But I am. And I can’t hate myself for it now despite the pain I always face because of my love for him.I am not asking for more. Loving him is already more than enough for me. Pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasan ang masaktan sa katotohanang hinding hindi niya ako titignan. His eyes are fixated on someone else. And I am fine with that. But it is still hurting me.Weeks have passed and we are indeed taking a break from our relationship. Zachary never visits again kahit madalas siyang tanungin sa akin ni Manang. Dinadahilan ko na lang na busy sa trabaho at hindi makauwi o dalaw rito.I miss him, though. Ako naman ang may kagu
[ Flashback ] “Are you sure you want to remove your hearing aids, my love?” tanong sa akin ni Mommy pagkababa ko ng sasakyan namin. We just arrived at the party’s venue. We are in Cambridge right now. I’m staying here in Massachusetts because I’m studying business at Harvard and am running my own business here in the States, while my parents just decided to visit because of the party their business partner is hosting. Pumasok kami sa Doubletree Suites by Hilton Hotel. Nasa likod ako ng mga magulang habang nasa unahan naman nila ang isa pa nilang business partner from the Philippines. I heard that he’s also a very close friend of my parents. He seems very familiar but I don’t remember when and where exactly I met him. Not that it matters anyway. I just hope that my parents won’t introduce me to anyone. Ang ingay pa lang dito ay nagpapasakit na ng ulo ko. There are a lot of cameras as we walked on the red carpet outside the hotel a while ago. I
[ Flashback continues ] Sumakay ako sa sasakyan ko at pinaharurot iyon para lang mabilis na makalayo sa kanila. I don’t want to talk them. I just want them to go home to the Philippines and leave me alone. I don’t need them here. Not when all they do in a span of hours is disappoint me big time! I want to talk to Varez but he’s already in the Philippines. He’s already in his post-graduate internship and he decided to do it back home. Kaya hindi ko siya p’wede abalahin. Should I just go back home like what my parents wanted? But my life is in here... in this place! I grew up here! I created my business here. And yet it also ended here. Halos dalawang araw akong nagkulong sa unit ko. Hindi ko hinayaang makapasok sina Mommy at Daddy sa loob kahit ilang beses ko silang naririnig na nagpapabalik-balik para lang i-check ko. I refuse to see them still. I am still mad at them for deciding things on their own and for easily setting aside my opinions. N
“How are you feeling?” Dr. Ricaforte asks me the moment I calm down. “Much better than a while ago,” I answer. He nods at my answer. “You could have just called my number, you know?” he whispers but I hear it. “You were probably busy and Varez just happened to be the one that came in my mind. I was panicking, Zac...” I reason out. “I know. I’m sorry,” aniya. “I just... wanted to at least be the same person again who’d find you in that state. Not that I want you to be in such a state, MJ...” Humalakhak ako nang mahina kaya napaangat ang tingin niya sa akin. He’s trying so hard to explain that I find it a bit funny. “I get what you mean, Zachary,” sabi ko habang tumatawa pa rin nang mahina. “This isn’t a laughing matter, MJ,” seryoso niyang tugon sa akin. Tinikom ko ang bibig ko at pinigilan ang pagtawa. Tumango ako. “I’m sorry,” I say. Umiling siya at muli akong hinigit nang marahan palapit sa kaniya. “I’m sorry I wasn’t
“Jade, this is Lucian Smith. My twin brother. Lucian, you know her, right? She’s Zachary’s wife... Marthania Jade Louise,” pagpapakilala ni Lucius sa amin ng kambal niya. I thought I was just having a panic attack. Akala ko namamalik-mata lang ako na may dalawa akong Lucius na nakikita pero a pair of twins pala ang dalawa. Ngayon ko lang din napansin na may pagkakaiba ang hugis ng mukha niya at sa istilo ng kanilang buhok. Lucius has more of an angelic face, while Lucian—his twin—has a feature in his face that is more defined. Lucian looks mature while Lucius looks innocent. That’s probably why I also saw a bit of a resemblance between Zachary and Lucius. They both have angelic faces. They both look innocent. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Jade...” marahan pero may riing sambit ni Lucian. I uneasily smile at him. “Likewise,” tugon ko. “They just decided to visit me here, Jade,” si Varez. “Sila ang tinutukoy kong imi-meet ko rin. Kakarating la