chapter 4

LIA

I jolt awake, my clothes damp from sweat as my breath comes out in frayed gasps. The same dream has tormented me since me and Karl parted ways. His hateful words and despiteful gleam in his eyes burned holes into my memory.

For the past two weeks, I have cried myself to sleep because of what my life has become. I feel so angry and used. My despair is starting to turn into bitterness and hatred towards myself.

Two weeks later, the nightmare was in fact my reality no matter how much I denied it or wished it away. After I made a fool of myself by fainting right in front of Karl and his mistress—she doesn't deserve to be regarded after what she did to me—, I woke up in the hospital with a divorce paper and my teoy luggage bag.

I finally understand it now when people say 'ignorance is bliss' because even though I was oblivious to Karl's hatred towards me, I was blissful and happy. I woke up every day with a smile that competed with sunshine. I thanked the star every day for bringing Karl to me. I was living my best life and I was fulfilled. I was ignorant of what was going on around me but at least I was happy.

Even though I tell myself every day that finding out about Karl's monstrosity was for the best secretly, deep down in my heart I wished I hadn't found out. Call me a fool. But the pain of knowing that the husband I loved all my life for three good years didn't share the sentiment with me was gut wrecking and more painful than being pierced with tiny needles.

Two weeks since I and Karl separated but a part of me still wishes that he would at least grovel before me, that he would perhaps declare this as a prank. I know it's just my delusion. It will never happen but every day I hear the small creaks of doors, my eyes shot up with hopes that it was him here to tell me he was sorry for the way he treated me, to tell me that he made a terrible mistake.

I guess I really am a fool, a gullible fool just like Karl called me. Because if I wasn't, I wouldn't be pinning on my ex-husband.

I have taken up a waitress job in a restaurant where the woman makes me live in a rat-infested room a few blocks from the restaurant as payment. I don't have much of a choice nor can I complain because I am broke which is a better word for the state that I am in—penniless. I guess this is what they say when women are told not to completely depend on men because they will leave you out to dry just like Karl did to me.

One thing I love about small towns is the fact that it was scarcely populated, and calm and almost everyone knows everyone. Now, it is starting to become my most hated thing about a small town because rumors spread easily and the news about me and Karl is spreading like wildfire.

Though, none of us has said anything about it except for the fact that we departed, though people are dying to know what happened. I'm never going to tell because I'm so embarrassed of it and Karl won't either because the Jones family is like the conglomerate of this small town and they have reputations that could shatter if news like infidelity is let out.

The mid-day sun beats down on me mercilessly as I make my way towards Fritz restaurant. I clutch my thick overalls even though it was so uncomfortable. I wore the overall because I thought it would make me look inconspicuous and I won't be stopped by the town gossips.

But as I round the corner, my ears prick up at the faint sound of my name being called. Damn. The jacket clearly isn't enough.

I groan internally as I quicken my pace, the jacket slinging uncomfortably to my wet skin. But the voice doesn't relent with each frantic step I take. Glances start turning my way from the small vendors lining the street.

A hand brushes against my shoulder, followed by the rustle of fabric as the woman spins around so that she is facing me.

Of course, it's Rachel. She is a known gossip queen.

"I have been calling you for ages, Lia." She says breathlessly.

"I'm sorry. I was so caught up in my head." I lie smoothily. Though I was indeed caught up in my head it was for an entirely different reason. For starters, my useless husband—ex that I shouldn't be sparing a thought.

"It's fine." Her hand pats my shoulder. It feels unfamiliar and unwelcome.

"So how are you doing today, madam Rachel?" I say her name with the title she is known to be called I have no idea why the locals call her that and frankly, I have no intent in knowing the reason for the title. "No diving, today?" I ask out of courtesy.

"No," she let out a dramatic sigh. "The tides are acting up today."

"Oh." I offer a noncommittal nod.

Rachel clears her throat and I just know what she is about to ask with how her eyes glint in the afternoon sun. "How is your husband, by the way?" She asks with a feigned concern. The news that I moved out of Karl's house had spread like wildfire and everyone knew. It was also not a hidden thing that I now live in a rat-infested room but Rachel chose to act ignorance just to snoop around.

"I don't know." I pinch the bridge of my nose to mask my irritation. One thing I hate is being rude to someone way older than me but Rachel keeps pushing it.

"What do you mean? It is normal for couples to have disagreements but moving out is a bit too irrational, don't you think?" She gives a piece of unsolicited advice that I do not ask for now need.

"We are divorced." I blurt out.

"Divorced?" Rachel whisper-shouts. "But why you too seem perfect together and everyone envies your love." One would think she is worried about me but she doesn't fool me.

"Karl cheated on me." The word tumblea out so raw it burns my throat.

Rachel's eyes widen with surprise as an involuntary gasp slips through her red-painted lips. "With whom?" She managed to ask.

Out of spite, I answer even though I didn't want to say anything about it. "with his secretary."

Another gasp louder than before escapes Rachel's mouth. "Oh, Lia?" She breath, her gaze filled with a mixture of pity and outrage. "Men! They're all the same. That's precisely why I never married. Best decision of my life." A forced cheerfulness tinges her voice. "Just remember, dear, time heals all wounds. I simply can't believe Karl and… Pen? would do that. Did they truly think they could get away with this?

Tears start prickling my eyes. I can't believe it either. That's why I wished every day that it was a nightmare. And when the nightmare seems to persist, I feel so shitty and wish to get a punch to my gut really hard so that something other than the pain twisting my heart can fill me.

"I'm running late for work. See you around, Madam Rachel." I manage to say but I don't miss how thick my voice is of raw emotions.

The rest of the day went by in a blink. The restaurant was so hectic, I had no time to catch my breath or think about anything else. I didn't panic as much as I thought I would after spilling the reason behind me and Karl's separation. But one thing for sure was that the news was spreading like wildfire, courtesy of Rachel.

A twisted satisfaction blooms in my chest at the thought of Karl fuming in anger. I'm certain he didn't think I would have the audacity to tell anybody because of how embarrassing it was to admit it.

Quite frankly, It was in fact humiliating, but somehow it doesn't feel as bad knowing that Karl is also caught in the fire.

I sigh as the door to my temporary room clangs shut behind me. Returning to this silence is the worst part of the day, When I finally return from the restaurant to my thoughts. Here, I have nothing to busy myself with but get fixated on the events of the past weeks. Ultimately, my mind swirls to Karl which inevitably leads to drowning myself in sorrowful tears.

The moment I slump onto the bed, a loud knock startles me. My head snaps up as the rapping comes again, sharper this time, and sending a jolt of fear through me.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I creep towards the door with heavy steps. My mind turns blank at who it may be because I wasn't expecting anyone.

The knock continues until I fling the door open. The question I intend to ask dies in my throat at the sight of the unwelcome visitor. I should have asked who it was before I opened the door. Now, I can't close it back. Fears grips my heart.