AUTUMN’S POV
I SHOULD’VE KNOWN IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO COME HERE. Besides having to see Frazier showing off his young and attractive girlfriend around, I had to endure hearing people mentioning my name in whispers and talking about how I had gotten ‘knocked-up’ in my first year of college. Normal people would’ve thought this was old news, especially since my baby boy was five years old now but these people in this glamorous room seemed to think otherwise.
I’d heard weird-ass stories ranging from how I’d cheated on Tyler with someone I met in the bar to me having a bad, unsafe one-night stand with a stranger to get Tyler’s attention. If only they knew the truth. If only they knew that it was far more complicated than that. I ignored them, as always. Never denying nor agreeing. Let their imagination go wild. After all, I didn’t owe any of them any explanation.
If I thought that these were bad, something worse was coming on my way when my phone rang. I quickly opened my purse and dug deep to reach for it. I glanced at the screen and answered the phone. “Ash! What’s up?”
“Autumn, Sev is having a fever. I’ve bathed him with lukewarm water but his temperature is not dropping. He’s one hundred Fahrenheit. I think we need to bring him to the hospital. I’m calling my husband right now but he’s still busy with his project and it would take him two hours to get here. What do you want me to do? I can’t leave Leah and Kelly alone at the house. Do you want me to give him some medicine? Do you know what he’s allergic to?”
My mind went blank. This was simply my worst nightmare. It had always been one whenever Sev had a cold or flu or fever. “Try giving him Acetaminophen and see if the fever’s going down. I’m on my way.”
“I’m really sorry, Autumn. I know you’re supposed to be having fun now.”
“No, no. It’s fine. I’m okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” My hand was struggling in putting my phone back into my bag and Ty caught my wrist.
“Autumn, take a breather.” He took the phone, opened my stupid bag, and placed it inside. “Is Sev okay?”
“I don’t know, Ty. I don’t know but I’ve gotta go.”
“I can come with you.”
“No, it’s fine.” I exhaled, giving him my best ‘I can handle this’ look, and smiled. “You stay here. Enjoy the rest of the party, okay. It has been a while since you meet everyone.”
Without letting him convince me otherwise, I ran through the double doors all the way to the ground floor and out to the sidewalk.
°°°°°°°
As I sat there inside Frazier’s car, my back straightened and my eyes on the road, I couldn’t focus on anything but Severus. I had put Ashwini’s address on his GPS the second I’d gotten into his car and now what was left for me was to wait. I pulled my phone out and held it in my hand just in case Ashwini sent me any updates.
The whole journey was filled with Robbie William’s ‘Patience’. Both Frazier and I didn’t say a word. I had a feeling that I wasn’t the only one engrossed in my own mind. “It’s that one on the right.” I pointed at the house with light blue paint and red fences. The second the car stopped, before Frazier killed the engine, I’d already jumped out of the car and ran towards the front door.
Ashwini opened it the second I knocked, she was already holding Severus and his bag ― the one I’d filled with his milk, clothes, and toys this morning.
“Hi, baby.” I took him from her arms and held him close to my chest. His body was burning but he didn’t cry almost as if he was too sick to cry and my heart broke right there on Ash’s front porch. I turned to her. “Thank you so much, Ash, I’ll take him to the hospital now.”
Ash nodded and took the strap off her shoulder. She was about to hand it to me when a strong hand took it from her. Ash looked at me then back at Frazier who was standing next to me. “Is this his father?”
I unlocked my phone and tried to go through my phone book. I needed to call a cab to bring Sev and me to the hospital.
“Are you his father?”
I nearly choked myself when I heard Ash’s bold question even though I had nothing in my mouth.
“No,” he replied curtly, unaware how that word chipped a small part of my heart. I shook the pain away by reminding myself that he didn’t know. And it was my decision not to let him know. I knew eventually I had to tell him but not now, not when he had a beautiful girl by his side and looked damn happy with his life. Not when my baby boy was sick and needed my full, undivided attention.
Even without looking, I could feel his eyes on me, creating holes at the side of my head as I held Sev with my left hand and placed the phone next to my right ear. “Autumn, let me bring you and your kid to the hospital.”
The line was busy. “Oh, darn it.”
“Autumn.”
I felt his hand on my back and turned to face him.
“Let me drive you.”
My gaze left his face and moved to Ash but all my friends said was, “You should let him drive you, babe. You need to get your baby to the hospital as soon as possible.”
“Okay.”
°°°°°°°
The doctor informed me that Severus was having acute otitis media. It was the most common ear infection and after treatment, he should be alright. Yet I couldn’t leave him. Dressed in a long silver dress, I sat in the waiting room. I leaned my head back against the wall.
Frazier still didn’t make a sound. His phone, however, was a different case. Even on our way here, his phone kept on ringing and now, the sound was drilling my brain. It nearly drove me insane. What more was his action. He looked as if his ears were selective and he didn’t hear any of this annoying sound every now and then.
It was twenty seconds of quietness before his phone was acting up again. Frazier rejected the call and slid his phone back into the pocket of his suit. When it rang again, he pulled it out and turned it off.
“You should go back to the party.” I closed my eyes and told myself numerous times that the doctor said Sev was going to be okay. I repeated what the doctor said inside my head to keep me sane. “You left your companion there. Go.”
“No, it’s fine. She’s fine.”
“Frazier.” I sighed, suddenly feeling the tiredness I’d been enduring the entirety of this week.
“What?”
“Go. You can’t do that, you know. You can’t just leave her there. It’s your reunion, she doesn’t know anyone there.”
“Yes, I can.” This time, he was the one sighing. “I didn’t leave her. You needed a ride.”
I opened my eyes and stared at him in disbelief. “You can’t turn this on me. Look, yes, I needed a ride but I’m here now. My baby’s fine. You should just go back there and enjoy the rest of your evening.”
He was quiet. His gray eyes never left mine. Then he drew a breath. “Is that what you want?”
No. “Yes.” I had to pat myself on the back for sounding so sure and convincing. Being here alone would drive me crazy but it was better than holding him back when he was needed elsewhere. When I looked at the girl he had brought to the reunion, something about her reminded me of the old me. She reminded me of myself back when I was a teenager when I was her age.
I was a big girl now. Twenty-four years old and a single mom. I could handle this. If I could handle nine months of pregnancy and an entire year covered in baby vomit, I could handle spending the night in the hospital's waiting room.
“Go.”
I watched his jaw tightening but in the end, he didn't say anything as he turned and walked away. Only when I saw him walking past the sliding door at the front of the ICU, did I finally let out the breath I had been holding.
FRAY “IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME.” The bartender at McSorley greeted us as soon as we settled down at my place at the bar. “Heya, Eoghan,” I greeted him back. “How are you, mate? Where’s that pretty girlfriend of yours?” If this was any other place, perhaps somewhere fancier, I would've replied with “which one?” but I knew there was only one girl I’d taken here and it was Autumn. “You know she’s not my girlfriend.” I pointed at Corbin, wanting to end this conversation about Autumn and my unrequited love. “This is my brother Corbin.” Eoghan slid his gaze to Corbin and a smile formed on his face. “Oh, I know him. He has been here for the last five years. Always come here with a toy. Do you know that superhero one with a hammer? The one that could summon lightning? Your brother put it on the table next to a pint of dark ale. What an odd company, I thought. But no judgment here.” “You brought Thor here?” I asked Corbin incredulously and his cheeks turned bright red, confirming what
Autumn’s POV I MOVED MY HEAD, TRYING TO NESTLE AGAINST THE PILLOW. It wasn’t as soft and fluffy as it usually was. Actually, it was hard, rigid even. My eyelids felt like they were glued but I forced them to open and that was when I realized I wasn't on my bed. I was on the sofa of Lenox Hill Hospital’s waiting room and what I thought was my pillow was Frazier’s thighs. I grabbed the back of the sofa and pulled myself up into a sitting position. “Good morning.” He gave me a small smile as if it was perfectly normal for me to sleep on his lap and for him to greet me when I woke up in the morning. “I’ve bought a coffee and a croissant.” “I’ve eaten croissants last night,” my brain answered automatically, never failing to remember when it came to foods. “I know. Last night was raspberry, today it’s peach.” Frazier pulled out the croissant from the paperback and undid the wrapping. He handed it to me before reaching out for a tissue and the styrofoam cup. “Bon appétit!” “I need to go
Frazier’s POV THE SECOND I GOT INTO MY CAR I called Isobel. As usual, she didn’t pick up her phone and her voicemail told me that she was busy and that I should schedule a phone call with her assistant Nancy Preston. I’d texted Nancy asking her to inform Isobel that she and I needed to talk. I put my phone aside and started the engine. Corbin had texted me saying that Dad and Clìodhna would be home for lunch and I should come to visit to prove to them that Corbin hadn’t lost his mind. I chuckled at that last bit. I knew he would have a problem convincing them that I was alive and that Isobel was lying. Like Autumn had said, it was hard to believe that a mother would lie about something like that. When I finally pulled my car into the driveway at one-thirty, Corbin was out the door before I put the vehicle in park. He had his hands inside his pocket but I could tell that he was annoyed. “Dude, be quick,” he muttered once I got out of the car. “Dad has a breakdown and Mom blamed me
I HEARD THE FRONT DOOR open and closed with a soft click and rushed to the living room to see Tyler walking in. He dropped his car keys carelessly on the mahogany side table and then moved towards me. “Hey,” I smiled. “How was it? Did you check out the lab? Did you like it?” Tyler came to New York not only for the reunion but he was looking for places that offered him an internship position before he graduated from Oxford. Two of the places were in New York. We always kept in touch through text messages and he had been telling me that he hoped one of the places was good so that he could move back to the United States, to New York, even if it was just for a year before he needed to complete his final year in Oxford. “Yeah.” He moved through the space between the two sofas until he stood in front of me. Our bodies were only a breath apart. So close that I had to look up to meet his eyes. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, I turned around and started cleaning up Sev’s toys on the table.
Flashback to 5 years ago . . . FRAZIER I chased her all the way to the front of my house and caught her wrist. “Autumn, stop. You don’t have to leave.” She finally stopped and turned around to face me. “Look, Fray. Today has been really fun but I seriously don’t need another episode with your mom.” “She’s not my mom.” Autumn lifted one brow and I quickly added, “Well, technically, she did give birth to me but she is not my mom. She abandoned me a decade ago and I don’t fucking care about anything that woman says.” “I’m sorry.” Her eyes softened and she twirled her hand so she could squeeze mine. “Every child deserves their parents’ attention and love. I know how you feel. My parents aren’t always like this.” Taking a deep breath, she ducked her head and licked her bottom lip. “Anyway, I think it’s best if I just go home. We can continue being James Bond tomorrow.” With my free hand, I put a lock of curly dark-brown hair behind her ear and slid my hand to her chin then tilted her
AUTUMN I HAD NEVER SEEN FRAY CRY so when he did, I ended up crying with him. We were standing in the doorway, watching Sev sleeping so we ended up sobbing in silence, not wanting to wake him up. Frazier was the first to move, his arms snaked their way around my waist and I was being pulled into his body. I let my arms go up to his arms. His biceps turned hard beneath my touch and for a split second, I wanted to drop my hand thinking that perhaps this wasn’t a good idea to be up close and personal with Frazier Ronan. But then he slid his hand to the small of my back and put his mouth next to my ear and said, “I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been fucking there with you. I’m such a bloody idiot.” For the last few years, I’d always been putting up my brave face. I’d always been wearing a mask, acting tough, and never cried. Now the dam was broken. I had one hand holding the back of his neck and the other tangled up in his dark blonde hair wh
This 2nd update of the day is dedicated to Ann, MCreader, 2Merlinda Pineda, & Marilyn 4 Daria who have voted for this book. Thanks a million, ladies! ********* Frazier’s POV I WAS SITTING IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN WITH ZOMBIES trying to claw my eyes out and eat my brain. My phone buzzed and it was a text from Autumn informing me of her new phone number. Reading her text brought my mind to reel on what had just happened today. If yesterday I thought there had been jaw-dropping information I’d learned about my mum’s lies, today just topped that off. I was suddenly reminded of the feeling I’d had when I’d been holding Severus in that hospital. His small hand was holding the edge of my sleeve while his head nested on my shoulder. Now that I thought about it again, when I’d held him in my arms, I hadn’t wanted to let go. Yes, I’d wanted to help Autumn, I knew how tired she must’ve been but that wasn’t the only reason. I could’ve let her bring her baby inside, I could’ve simply held the
Autumn’s POV I WOKE UP AT SIX AM SHARP and started to get ready. I soaked myself in a warm bath for about thirty minutes to release the tightness of my muscles before I rinsed myself off and got dressed. Being a mom required me to work early because Sev would be wide awake at seven. I wore a cream-colored blouse and a black pantsuit. I stopped by the bed and planted a kiss on Sev’s forehead before I headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I was halfway preparing Sev’s breakfast, a bowl of Pongal with a chutney that I’d learned how to make from Ashwini when the doorbell rang. My gaze automatically checked out the clock on the wall, it was six-fifty. It couldn’t be Frazier, right? It was too early for him to come. I went off work at eight. I moved across the living room. My eyes widened when I saw Frazier's face on the monitor next to the door. I swung the door open and was greeted with a small smile and a "good morning". “Morning. You’re early.” I held the door and took a step ba