Fright was an understatement if I would describe how I felt after Liam’s phone call. It was as if everything good that ever happened for the past minutes would instantly
I couldn’t wrap my head around what just occurred. I couldn’t believe everything that happened and wished these were just a nightmare I could wake up to. But no. It was so vivid, surreal, and unexpected. It was as if the world came falling on me, burdening my shoulders with too much pain I didn’t know how to endure. Those happy moments I made with the person I planned my future with just immediately vanished. Life had swept him away, unannounced. The worst thing was, I could’ve blamed him for what happened, but I couldn’t because we both made fucked up choices when we broke up. His child was the result of it. I think no matter how hard we turned our back on the past, it just caught up on us like it was meant to find us in our most sane state. You wouldn’t anticipate it either, you ju
Despite my dizzy state, I had the strength to examine his face. He was smiling at me and his wide, hazel eyes were dazzling, almost as if it was luring you to him. He looked like he was just as drunk as me, which was pretty great. I would have a drinking buddy for a night.“Why’d you come and sit beside me?” I asked my words were slurring.
As much as I wanted to stay at home and lay in bed to get rid of my horrible hangover, I tried to lift myself throughout the day. During my first few periods of class, I was having a difficult time concentrating, but since I didn’t want to fail because school was important to me, I kept myself together. It strained. I mean, forcing yourself to fight the yearning for comfort. How I wish I could tell Amanda and Emma the breakup that just occurred, but I was too caught up with my emotions that I blurted nothing on our way here. I remained silent because the heaviness in my heart wouldn’t let me talk. I kept shrugging the emotions off as I suppressed my tears.
Amanda, Emma, and I were inside the lounge while we watched the workers renovate the room. The guys weren’t here yet, I guess they were just downstairs having their lunch meal. Honestly, I didn’t care anymore about everything. I ran out of energy to deal with Danny and Lindsey, I didn’t care anymore about this lounge that we were planning to build, and I didn’t want to attend the homecoming because I was empty. I ran out of strength to give myself some happiness. There was just this hole dug in my heart that I didn’t know could or what could fill it. I was just so done with everything.
We were walking down the mall that was filled with people. As Emma and Amanda engaged in a conversation, my mind hung in the air that I couldn’t pay attention to what they were talking about. Aside from that, being in this mood with nothing but noise reverberating in this area, made me feel agitated. This was making me dizzy and I just wanted to get this over with so we could go to the club and have some fun. Shopping was one of my relishes, but I didn’t know why this wasn’t giving me pleasure anymore.“Oh my god, there are
We’d paid for our dresses and bought a few other accessories that cost a few grand. After this shopping, I would probably get broke for draining my bank account but I hope my parents wouldn’t kick me out of the house. I wasn’t going to spend a lot of money on clothes, but since I was already there and I was tempted, I had to buy one. It wasn’t that I was thrifting, I just hated it having to wear the same outfit like the ones I’d used before. So I decided to go with the dress since it was my money after all.Shopping bags hu
When I was trying to lash out from his grasp, he tightened his grip around my arm as I winced in pain. No matter how hard I tried to pull away, he would tug me further and I was left perplexed. Since we squeezed through the crowd, I could barely make out who it was. The dim light also didn’t help. The throng of intoxicated people kept colliding with us, blocking our way and we barely pass through them. What confused me more was that Amanda and Emma didn’t even come to prevent the guy from pulling me away from them.When we passed throu
When I woke up the next morning after the conversation I had with Danny, he wasn’t there anymore. I guess the moment I slept, he returned home and rested. I woke up feeling grateful to him because it put out the weight in my chest despite the heartache I was feeling. Today, instead of sulking over what happened between me and Liam, I chose to look forward to what Danny had said to me last night. I was keeping my fingers crossed that Liam wouldn’t let go of the things we’d been through because I thought I was ready, but I wasn’t. I thought I hadn’t clung to the hope that we could make our relationship work this time, but I thought to myself that I couldn’t do it without him. Maybe this was just a challenge and it would make us stronger. Maybe the world was just telling me to stop my wrongdoings and focus on improving