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ONLY SISTER

The disappointment of finding out that the man I fell in love with was my sister ate me up. There would have been a thread of probability if he were with any other woman, even with another, but not with my only sister, Ximena, who technically was my only family. I cannot stand this feeling, which is as if I had a swarm of crabs that ate me up inside. I just want to fall asleep, wake up in her arms, and know that I am not the most forbidden man. Likewise, I wish this were a cruel nightmare, and I even pray to have a chance. Likewise, I have my altar with figures of several saints, to whom I ask a lot of counting, and they don't even blink while I cry. I don't know how so much is attributed to an object. I question how there can be a just Creator if he made me with a heart that occasionally insists on standing still; that seems to be my enemy. That must be why I do not deserve to have a love with this striking organ that surely would not support so much emotional load. Although I must

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