It’s hardly a fresh start, when I’m keeping the biggest secret in the world from the man. He’s a father. He has twin boys. Every heartbeat that passes between us, and the secret feels bigger and bigger. As though it’s a balloon, inflating over my head. Waiting to burst. Yet every time I start to feel the weight of overwhelm, Kylar’s there with a smile, or a teasing comment. Something that brings me straight back to the present and unable to look away from the man before me. We’ve both finished our drinks, and finished eating. I had an incredible salmon linguine that I refused to let Kylar steal. Even though his baked chicken dish smelt just as good. There’s a sense of ease between us, a relaxed atmosphere. His smiles and light hearted banter have pushed away my sense of doom. I’m comfortable with him. Too comfortable. I’m smiling across at him, taking in his beautiful green eyes as I set my empty wine glass down for the final time. ‘It hasn’t been so bad, has it?’ He props his c
I try reminding myself that tomorrow is a big day. The opening of the medical centre. It will be the first time the Elders gather to meet me again, after my initial interview with the council. It’s the first day, the centre will be open and ready to receive patients. That no matter what, I’m due back on shift at the Western Hospital to start making up shifts for my residency. Despite everything that I know and all the sensible choices we could make, the long hours of the night are lost to us both. We make love. Slow, mind numbing, skin tingling love. After Kylar ravishes me with his mouth, he joins us. Our bodies pressed together in an aching undulating rhythm. I’m spiralling beneath him, coming undone far too fast. I wanted to stay awake, but inevitably slept, wrapped up in the safety of his arms. I woke in the night, his fingers trailing a path down my spine. Wordless I turned and kissed him. We made love again, in the darkness before moving back to the bathroom and the shower.
KylarI feel as though Ava and I are finally getting somewhere. Over the last two days she’s surprised me, in a lot of good ways. I never expected her to join me on a date, not really. Not when her walls are so high and she’s so defensive and uncertain. It should put me off. Her continued refusal to acknowledge anything between us. Instead, it makes me want to know more about her. I want to unravel the mystery that she is. She’s not a shy, passive woman. She’s put herself through college and become a Doctor. She’s a Rogue, that Grandma Maria explained had been living in the city, without our detection for years. So she’s able to resist the pull of her wolf. She’s strong. Yet, I always get the feeling that behind that strength and resilience, she’s vulnerable. The reason she pushes me away, that she spends all her time keeping people at a distance, is because she’s afraid. She’s been hurt. Everytime I think about it, I get this sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach. A desire to r
AvaI return to the door, trying to get myself ready to speak to Kylar. I can’t get past the look in his eyes. The pain and anger combined. I’ve betrayed him. There is no moving past that. I don’t know what I was thinking, how I ever thought that it might work out. He’s not there. He’s gone. Vanished into the woods and part of me wonders if I’ll ever see him again. The expression on his face is something that’s going to haunt me. I’m shivering. Of course I will see him again. Even if Kylar left now for some mercenary mission and didn’t return for years, then at some point he will be the Alpha of this pack. This is his home, it was supposed to be mine too. I can’t help the sinking feeling though, that it can’t be my home without Kylar. Not anymore. I’m standing at the door, my hands on the wooden panels as I stare out at the path and the trees that stretch off endlessly. My eyes are burning, like someone’s thrown dust in them.I don’t date, because I don’t want the pain that comes w
AvaAlpha Anton stood staring at Lou as though she had three heads before suddenly he turned to Marie. He bent down, eyes still fixed on Lou, who was busy scribbling onto a pad. What she was writing, I’ve got no idea, because it’s not as if we have any patients. I expected some kind of reaction from the Alpha, to the human walking freely through his territory, but it’s Lou’s reaction I find strange. Lou’s almost worse than I am, when it comes to dating. She definitely dates, but they’re short term flings. She dates then drops, with no intention to commit to anything. She’s left a trail of heartbroken junior doctors throughout the Hospital. However, I would swear that under Anton’s gaze she’s blushing like a school girl.I don’t have time to investigate, because my son’s take the opportunity to start climbing an unused stack of chairs. Helping each other up, with teamwork and problem solving skills that should be applauded. But I’m too busy trying to save their lives. The rest of the
‘Can I get you something to drink?’ Kylar follows me into the hallway, I pad back through to the kitchen. ‘No,’ he shakes his head. He watches me before looking at the kitchen door, he’s frowning, ‘do I shut it?’ he asks and stares at me in a way that makes my heart ache. He wants to know if I need the door open, so I can hear the boys. ‘Please,’ the word catches in my throat. I turn my back on the man as the door clicks shut and move to the small sofa that’s against the far wall. Usually it’s overlooking the garden, but the blinds are drawn for the night. I sink down on the cushions, pulling one onto my lap. As though it’s some kind of shield against the man who stands before me, on the other side of the table. He has his hands planted on his hips as he stares at the blinds before sitting down. His long arms stretched across the table before he pulls them back. As though he doesn’t know what to do with them. I know the feeling. I want to bring my legs up, but the urge to run
I was called away from the village again, the day after my conversation with Ava. I’m grateful, it gave me some more time to adjust to the idea of being a Father. Even if I’m haunted by the look in her eyes, her fear at the thought I would take the children from her.I know there are some packs out there, where the children would be claimed under ownership of their sire, but Midnight Forest has moved past those primitive roots. I still don’t know what Pack Ava was originally from, but I can’t help but wonder if it was archaic in its structure and expectation. It’s a conversation I know we’ll have to have one day. How did she become a rogue, what pack was she from? Knowing Ava, and I think that I do, even if I’ve been blindsided by the twins, I can’t imagine her betraying her pack. I can’t imagine that she deserved to be rejected that way. Being away will hopefully give Ava time to accept what I told her. That I want to be part of their lives. I’m serious about it. I want to know
The medical center is busier than I expected, Katie’s sitting upright at the desk and it’s amazing to see how confident she has become so quickly. She’s always been a shy girl, like her Mother, Anna. There are a couple of young kids around the reception with their Mothers, waiting for some kind of vaccination no doubt. But Katie stands up as we come into sight, calling back to the Doctor.Ava appears and looks me dead in the eye before giving instructions for Katie, asking for the clinic to be rescheduled. Then she simply turns and holds open the door as me and Mat half drag-half carry Luca in. Gethin’s shuffling along with the drip back, still sunk into his arm.‘Put him down,’ she points to the bed, business-like. We set him down and she orders his boots be taken off. She moves over Luca, pulling off his shirt and I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. Then tell myself to get over it. There’s nothing sexual or romantic in what she’s doing. Her stethoscope is on his chest as s