56 - Stop Speaking

I summon all my courage to maintain eye contact with the man who wanted to make me his mate. He’s so gorgeous, I keep expecting to see his picture in glossy magazines. I can’t help but imagine an impossible future with him, I’m swooning after Kylar. Swooning hard. It’s not something I can give him, a future.

‘Ava,’ he demands and I my lower lip quivers.

‘Kylar, I can’t -’ I’m struggling for the words. To find a way to express myself. It’s also hard to concentrate with him standing so close to me. His legs brushing against my own. I perch on the dresser, trying to create some space. It doesn’t work. It just makes him taller and that does things to my insides. He’s going to smell my arousal through my panties and I can’t stand it. I’m blushing desperately and look away. Staring at the tiny blue flowers on my bedroom curtains.

‘We should have put some more thought into…dating or whatever it was we started up,’ I say slowly. It hurts to speak like this. To acknowledge that the dream