I Missed Him So Much

I was sure that many people died, but I had not been there to witness enough of them. It was funny; although none of it was my fault and I was not in control of it, I told myself that Luke was just temporarily away, and sometimes, I found myself looking out for him when the day started to come to an end, wanting to make sure that he was in the pack safe and sound. It was probably quite infuriating, and was probably driving everyone to their wits end, yet they remained gracious to me.

Lee especially worked very hard to be kind to me, alongside Kimora. On occasion, I would overhear them talk about how terribly I was taking the news, and although I agreed with them, there was no way in hell I was going to admit it to any of them.

“Do you guys think it's okay to talk about Luke as often as I do? Am I doing too much? Overshadowing you in my grief?” I heard myself ask once, worried about the pain that I was potentially causing them. I did not want them to be in any pain whatsoever, and I