30. With you I want to

Nomia pov

I follow Janus back to our quarters. I feel dirty. My body betrayed me again. Alpha Zared is convinced he did a good job in pleasuring me.

“Ooh he did just that, but your heart and mind aren’t in it. He plays you like a fiddle. He places his fingers, you make the corresponding sound.”

“Aminta! Stop it! It’s my body! I don’t want him touching it. My body may give the desired reflexes but I’m more than a bloody fiddle.”

I feel her moving to the back of my mind sulking.

“Don’t wolves care about these things?”

“In a different way I guess. We just want the strongest mate. Or the one the Goddess made for us. We’re more physically oriented. I’m sorry, Dysnomia. I’ll try to take your feelings on the matter into account more.”

Janus leads me to the dining table. I sit on my chair. I worry that he won’t like me after the way he found me this morning and then this evening picking me up from Alpha Zareds private room. I’m not sure if life without him will be worth living.

Janus feeds