I stepped out of my car and locked it properly before marching to my door. I was staring at him with narrowed eyes while he walks seriously toward me. As he was nearing, I muttered all the expletives I knew in my head. How on earth did he find where I live? Well, I realized it was no big deal because he’s a boss and has sources and ways.
“What are you doing here?” I snapped. Yeah, that was rude. Honestly, I didn't know how to act in front of him considering it was only the two of us. It was different when we were at the meeting. I hid my real emotions back there because I didn't have a choice.
He cleared his throat. His fingers were busy fixing his left long sleeve, rolling it up to his elbow without breaking his gaze with mine. The scent of his manly perfume invaded my nose and system immediately. His smell was still the same and because of that, a whole new wave of memories came flashing into my mind.
I knew I shouldn’t think of all our flashbacks and it was right not to think about them ever, but it was hard. It irked me and I could only cluck my tongue in exasperation.
“Can we talk?” Unlike his strong appearance when we were in a meeting, he was standing in front of me like the Denver that I knew before. His face softened and seemed pleading for me to give him time.
I fidgeted with my fingers, terribly nervous, but I did my best to collect my composure.
“Mr. Ford, if it’s all about business, you can drop an email to Miss Vera about your queries. Besides, it’s past my working hours,” I told him straight and I guess he wasn’t comfortable with me calling him formally. Truth be told, I knew that his visit had nothing to do with the business, but I didn't want to assume as well that he was around because of us. Lame but I shoved it away since I wasn't prepared to see him outside of my house.
“Ara, I’m happy that you’re doing well,” he steered away from what I said to tell me his opinion about my life. I frowned at him, not able to comprehend what he was trying to do. I was thinking that he just wanted to know that I lived well after he left me to chase his dreams. Maybe he felt guilty about it and he wanted to apologize for proper closure.
“Why does it concern you?” With knitted brows, I sneered. If he thought I would talk to him nicely, he’s wrong. We were not in the office anymore.
“Mr. Ford, I have no time for you beating on the bush,” Impatient, I turned around and was about to open my door but, “Ara, I missed you” He mumbled. I froze from my spot and seemed my system malfunctioned.
I bit my lip to hold my tears after hearing the sweet words from him. It was good to hear, however, he hurt me and I endured unbearable pain in the past. A simple I missed you couldn’t suffice for the heartbreak. I knew I shouldn’t get affected in front of him and to show him my soft side wasn’t in my vocabulary anymore.
“I’m sorry about me being away for so long. I hope you received my letters,” he apologized gently and if he continued to be like that, I couldn’t promise to not cry in front of him. I was in deep emotion.
“I heard you sell your house in HampStreet,” He kept his tone calm and was clearly curious why I sold the only property that my parents left for me. But because I had no plans of explaining to him, I stayed still and raised my brows in annoyance.
“I was trying to call you, but I couldn’t get through,” He continued when I did not utter even a single word back at him. He couldn’t get through with my digits because I cut communication with him and I had no plan of sharing my new number. "Did he think that after he prioritized his career over me, I will accept it wholeheartedly?"
I panted and threw a death glare at him. “Mr. Ford, it’s been four years. It already happened and all we need is to move on. And for you to know, I haven’t read even a piece of your letter. You chose to leave, so what changes it would make if I had read your letters?” I said as flawlessly as I could, although my nerves were getting weak. His rejection shattered me into million pieces, and the pain he imposed on me when I begged him to stay but he refused, couldn't be healed by just a mere piece of paper.
“Mr. Ford, I don’t need any apologies from you. You chased for your dreams and you did the right decision,” I smiled curtly and motioned at what it made him. He got surrounded by luxury and all the best that he could have.
“Ara, stop calling me by that name.” He wasn’t happy about it but I won’t call him on a first-name basis. I couldn’t. My tongue and my system didn't want to cooperate.
“Just pretend you don’t know me every time we cross paths,” I muttered with gritted teeth, trying my best not to burst my tears.
“Baby, listen to me,” He was pleading. If we were on good terms, I would probably melt at his endearment, but we’re not. And him calling me by that again puzzled me greatly. “Is he still single? Am I not assuming things? Is he still into me after everything that happened between us, and following what he has become?” The questions flashed in my mind.
“Will you stop?” I blurted sternly. To halt him from attacking me with his sweet words was a must because I might give in. After he crushed my heart, I couldn’t trust him again.
Cranky, I smirked. “Mr. Ford, you’ve already wasted so much of my time.” All I wanted was to end our conversation because we have nothing to talk about us anymore.
“We are done!” I reiterated with emphasis on my words. I reminded him of that painful moment when he turned his back on me. Crazy, but he also ended that happy relationship that we had.
“We are not!” he responded with conviction, and my mind was on haywire, trying to decipher his intention.
“Does he want us to be together again?” I felt dizzy at the thought.
“Ara, I promise to make it up to you,” he pledged, but it did not convince me at all. He knew I don’t believe in promises, but he kept on saying it to me. Bizarre!
“I promise we’ll end up together,” He tried to touch me, but I took a few steps back. I shouldn’t let him because I didn’t want to feel that radiation against his skin. Not again. Not again because I didn’t want to show any hint that he still has that effect on me. I thought after many years, I already scratched him out of my heart, but I was wrong.
“Stop!” I motioned for him to not dare step closer. “Sorry, but I’m contented living my life alone. I don’t need you to make me happy. I used to live this way, with no expectations from anyone. With this, no one could ever break my heart or betray my trust again,” I told him frankly like there was acid in my tone.
He frowned at me like he couldn’t believe how those four years made me stubborn. I knew I looked at things from a different perspective after suffering unbearable pain, but no one could blame me. My experiences made my heart cold and sturdy like a stone. Bravely, after looking at his eyes, I saw sadness even if he nodded at me.
***
Our confrontation made me lose my appetite, the reason I wasn’t able to finish my food. His comeback to Harrisburg bothered my serene life alarmingly. We shouldn’t talk like that again because I’m afraid he could corner me the next time and lose my guard.
I couldn’t deny that his charms can manipulate people and his smile could win hearts in a blink of an eye. But I shouldn’t allow him to capture my heart again for my sake. I had learned my lessons, and I need to protect my heart from the pain that he could impose on me again.
I couldn’t forget the look on his face when I closed my door right in front of him. His powerful aura did not fit with the disappointment that plastered on his appearance because of my refusal. Well, it was nothing compared to the pain I suffered because of him.
I went to my mini balcony and lit a stick of my cigarette. At rock bottom, I never thought of self-destruction but I tried smoking cigarettes. I got to read that Nicotine could stimulate the release of the chemical dopamine in the brain that would involve triggering positive feelings. I only smoke when I’m agitated or anxious, but I never tried taking drugs because I’m sane enough to know that it could ruin my life completely.
I promised myself to stop smoking, but I had an excuse. I needed a portal to let out my emotion because I felt restless and Denver troubled my peaceful mind.
“How could he say we were not done after he left me?” I was doing fine moving on, but suddenly, he came back telling me he wanted us to be together again. Insane!
“He’s making my life harder,” I muttered in annoyance.
After doing my night routine, I prepped to go to bed. But before I could switch off the light, my phone beeped.
“Good night and see you tomorrow - Denver,” I creased my brows. I got puzzled about who gave him my digits. “Does it mean he’s eager to get me back because he’s doing all the ways he could?” I couldn’t stop asking myself.
I did not bother to reply because I don't want any means of communication between us. He never put me a priority, instead broke my heart, so there’s no assurance that he won’t hurt me again in the future. I would only fool myself if I give him a chance. The agony I suffered wasn't that simple.
The next day, I woke up sleepy because it took me long hours before slumber knocked me down. I hate Denver because he kept on running in my mind even if I tried hard not to think of him. “What is he doing to me?” I sighed.
“Morning,” he sent me another before I even opened my eyes. When I traced the time, I couldn’t believe he was already up at 4 am. I thought maybe that’s how business people manage their time, one reason they’re successful.
As I continued scrolling my device to check some news, something caught my attention. I clicked the link to make sure I’m not mistaken. Damn! my heart constricted at the confirmation.
My father’s face, which I hadn’t seen for a long time, got published in an article. I hadn’t heard from him since he left our house. I refrained from reading news online because it could make me feel distressed, but somehow, I got the courage to view some lately. While I was reading the content, I smirked, and it filled my heart with bitterness. “Businessperson Russell Lewis ventured into Network Security Devices,” The publisher wrote. I learned my dad flew and stayed in Chicago with his new family six years ago. He just came back for business purposes. I couldn’t decipher how easy for him to forget me and never once check if I’m still alive. I hate him so much. My hatred for my father deepened when he did not show up at my Mom’s funeral. I couldn’t help but think that dad scratched us off in his life in a snap of a finger. How dare he put me in a dreadful situation? He screwed my life, and he was the one to blame. I instilled in my heart and mind that I will never be like my dad, w
“Of course, Mr. Ford. We would love to join you!” As expected, my boss accepted his offer. Well, I understood she couldn’t decline it as a sign of respect after she got a good deal. She needed to take care of Mr. Ford as one of her important clients who could be a connection and lead her to other potential clients. “I know a pleasant restaurant nearby. You can just follow us,” He seemed glad, telling my boss while sparing a glance at me. As much as I didn’t want to go, I couldn’t think of something to reason out. Frankly, to have dinner is unnecessary, but I had no right to retaliate. We went to our respective cars, and we drove off, following his SUV to a restaurant that I didn’t know. We were like in a convoy in which I was the last vehicle in our row. As I was driving, my emotions were fighting inside me. I didn’t want to dine with him or spend time with him any longer. An idea came up to my mind, so I slowed down and let other vehicles overtake my car. After around five minutes
Right after I turned to my street and parked outside of my house, his SUV slowed down. I pulled out my house key and stepped out of my car towards my door. Quickly, I pushed my door open and before I could close it, his car drove away. I could only hiss at how he was bothering me with his motive. “Good night,” I read his message that flashed on my screen. I wished I could scold him for his gestures, but I didn’t want to create a conversation between us. I was desperate to show that I’m no longer interested and for him to realize that I wanted to go on with my life without him in it anymore. I breathed heavily and closed my eyes to ease my unwell emotion. Denver made my day so tiring. Not because of our job showing him around our factory, but because of his unpredictable actions. I felt afraid he might slip about our relationship in the past, and that was the very thing that I didn’t want to share with anybody. The truth, I felt I'm getting sick because of him. I couldn't sleep comfor
“I’m a good listener,” he spoke softly. I took a deep breath a few times and when I calmed down, “Sorry, it’s just a sad day for me.” He hummed. “When I’m sad, I used to do this one thing,” He was talking like we’re good friends and I did not mind. “What?” I replied, almost breathless from crying. “First.... stop crying,” He clucked his tongue and twisted his lips. He stood properly. “Second, stand up,” He offered his right hand for me to hold. I was hesitant, but he seemed to have that wonderful spirit and I didn’t want to disappoint him. I knew he was trying to help and ease my emotion. He held my hand for support as I reached for my bag. “I know an alternative way to go out of this campus swiftly,” He sounded so sure, but “Don’t you have class?” I asked worriedly. He told me they have an exam, but he got exempted. That was why he spends his free time wandering around. I wondered why a student like him could get exempted, and I couldn’t think of any reason. “Why?” sniffing, I
When we were inside my house, I right away went to the kitchen to make our food. I have no talent for cooking, so for us to have food on the table quickly, I cooked noodles and steamed buns.“Sorry, I don’t have expertise in cooking,” I apologized, but he shrugged it off. He gobbled on his food and seemed famished. “Did you eat your lunch today?” I wondered because I'd never seen him that ravenous. “I did,” he replied hastily. “So why does it seem you’re starving?” I creased my brows and pouted at him. “It’s not every day that you cook for me,” he winked with a satisfied smile. I flushed but did my best to stay composed. He was acting weird and being sweet at the same time. His gestures puzzled me immensely.When he finished all the food in front of us, it was funny because I wasn’t sure if it tasted good. For me, it was the usual savor. I could only shake my head at the thought.While I was tidying the kitchen, I let him watch a movie in my small living room. He already visited my
In the afternoon, I went to the orphanage to help watch the toddlers. From afar, saw Heidi busy preparing the meals for us to feed them. I really admired her wholeheartedness of aid to the children.“Hi, Ara! I’m glad you’re able to help today,” Miss Victoria, the head of the children’s care, never missed to always thank me for my dedication. “We received another child today,” She let me know, and the pity was clearly visible in her eyes. She said the little girl’s parents died in a tragic car accident and they left her alone without a trace of any members of her family.“I feel sorry for the child,” I sighed while dancing with a sleeping little boy in my arms. If I wasn’t mistaken, the orphanage had already thirty little angels in their care. My involvement in the institution helped me realize that even though I suffered from depression for what happened to me, I’m more fortunate than them because I got the chance to be with my parents while growing up until I reached my early teens
The next day, I stepped inside the office, anticipating a bright day from Miss Vera. As expected, I sighted her with a grin on her face.“Ciara, Amber already sent their purchase order. Have you seen it?” She asked while I put down some documents on her table.“Yes, Miss Vera,” I stood still, waiting if she has instructions to say.“Call Mr. Henry to start the production right away. I want us to complete the delivery a week before our agreed deadline.” She was back from being strict, which I’m used to. I nodded before I turned my back to do the task. Right after I dropped the phone after speaking to Henry, I sighted Iris pacing toward me. She was beaming with a bouquet of white roses in her arms. I got puzzled if Miss Vera’s husband surprised her or if they are celebrating a special occasion in their life.“They are beautiful flowers,” I complimented tenderly. My heart melted seeing such fresh and fragrant flowers. It could please every woman’s heart who can receive such a present.“
I slouched in my seat and blew a long breath. I was firm with my decision not to start or send him even a piece of a text message, but his actions brought me to the edge of breaking it.I took a deep breath six consecutive times, as I always do whenever I’m restless, and picked up my phone.“Stop sending me flowers. It’s not helping me at work,” straightforward, but that was the best thing to say. He was sturdy to understand that I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. I wasn't naive and indeed, he did it intentionally for me to succumb to my decision of not talking to him. Ironic, but he triumphed. As quick as a lightning, his name came flashing on my screen. I rolled my eyes, unable to determine whether to answer him or not. He was imposing chaos on my mind and heart.“What do you want?” irked and you could tell it in my tone. There was no need for me to hide that I’m unpleased talking to him. “I’m glad you picked up my call,” sounded calm, and I didn’t know how long his patience