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The next few days is as boring as it had been since the past two weeks; go to work, spend time with the kids, and when they are asleep, I'm all alone on the couch watching Netfl!x.

Normally I'd shoot Luca a text if there is anything interesting about the show I'm watching, or if I'm too excited about it I'd just call him rightaway. But now, it feels like I've been robbed the joy of watching Netfl!x just because I no longer have someone to share those things with.

Doesn't matter how funny the jokes are, or how devastatingly sad some episodes have been, I would always end up with this heavy feelings in my heart, of how upsetting it is that I'm being reminded I'm all alone again. This is like going backward to the time when I haven't had him in my life, as a friend.

Thankfully, I have Christian now.

But he can't always be there for me because he has obligations when it comes to his job. Whenever he's on his off-day, we'd have a long conversation over the phone. But on days when he's