ZaneThe morning light pierced through the curtains, dancing along my fingertips, its warmth reminding me that it was a new day, and I'd made a really shitty life choice by inviting someone to share it with me.What the hell had I been thinking?I knew it was a bad idea the minute the offer left my lips. She was too perceptive by half - most of the people I knew, didn't give a rat's ass that I didn't like crowds. They assumed it was a complete privacy thing.But that was the really unfortunate part about studying your own brain and human behavior - you realize that sometimes there is literally no explanation for why you go into fight or flight, or why for some reason, I can handle crowds if I'm distracted or with a friend, but have trouble going to the grocery store by myself.One meltdown.I'd had one meltdown at a concert last year.The record label wasn't pleased.It wasn't my fault everyone assumed it was drugs, the perfect storm of overheating, being dehydrated, and havi
FallonYou know how doctors always say never to do an internet search of your symptoms? I believed them. I refused to Google anything.I'd always been cautious to a fault.Half nerd, half goody two-shoes.More focused on my grades than my hair or the fact that girls around me were wearing heels while I was still sporting chucks and vintage band T-shirts.So, the morning after seeing Zane, after agreeing to his asinine plan and walking home in a complete daze.I did the unthinkable.I typed in his name.Zane Andrews.My first mistake was assuming that it would be all about his music and his time in Seaside.Instead, there were so many pictures of the guy shirtless that I almost dropped my phone in my bowl of oatmeal, and about died on the spot when my dad snatched my phone instead of his off the table.And being an idiot, mine wasn't password protected.So he got a huge eyeful of chest.And nearly collided with a wall in an attempt to get away from the kitchen and his dau
ZaneThree hours of flushing toilets, and I was suddenly thankful she only had a five-hour shift this morning. It wasn't like I'd planned on going to work with her like a total loser. But I'd driven to the set, taken one look at all the extras, consumed at least a half bag of marshmallows, then found myself passing the resort.After a few questions at the front desk, I was directed to the back office where Fallon would be, and the rest was history.Well, sort of.I 'd just stripped the bed when I heard her scream.My feet tangled in the sheets nearly sending me against the nightstand before I freed myself and ran into the other room."What's wrong?" Adrenaline spiked through my system as I sized up the situation. Fallon's eyes were wide and then she did a little dance and washed her hands about five times before shuddering.I peeked around the corner of the table. Clinging to the wall like a giant deflated slug was a used condom. I smirked. "Tell me you touched it.""With my
FallonI took him everywhere.And like a pubescent child, he was demanding and sometimes whiny. I made a mental note to bring marshmallows and some sort of sugary soda to keep him occupied while driving in the car."Money," Zane blurted before I dropped him off at his house. "You need money.""What?""For school." He did that nonchalant shrug thing. "Right? I mean you said your financial aid didn't kick in right away, so what if, I pay you?""You do realize I was going to do it for free, right?""Gas costs money, and so does your time, not to mention the fact that I had to stop at least three times for food, and girls gotta eat too." His eyes flashed. "Eating is important.""O...kay." I tried not to frown, but he wasn't making sense again. "So you want to pay for food."His hands started to shake, he quickly pulled at the door handle, but I grabbed his arm."Hey," My fingers dug in, keeping him in place. "Are you sure you're okay?""I'm always okay." He flashed me a fake c
FallonI regretted giving him my number almost immediately. Apparently, Dominos was getting angry that he kept calling them and asking them to approve of lyrics.So finally, three days after we started our weird partnership.Three days after the purposeful kiss.We were back to being whatever we were to begin with, the awkward girl and the pop star.We spent afternoons together walking on the beach, going to the aquarium, and eating.Zane loved eating.But he refused to eat anything without first savoring a few marshmallows, and when I asked him about it, he got so defensive I dropped the subject for fear he was going to be the celebrity that threw his drink in my face and stalked off.Mags still begged for information.But I was a vault.That, and I didn't really know what to tell her.It was kind of... not embarrassing? I don't know what it was, I couldn't really put my finger on it. Maybe it was my pride, because explaining to her that he was paying me to be like a paid
ZaneIt was getting harder.Everything was getting harder.And I really meant everything.Mentally.And physically.Ignoring the fact that every time I saw her, I felt my chest flutter like a damn girl - I looked forward to seeing her.That was bad news.She was bad news.I was leaving, no chance in hell did I want to stay in Seaside for longer than I had to. Besides, it wasn't like she was staying local anyway.We made it to the beach in record time. I was so lost in my thoughts that I nearly collided with a rock and just barely missed it by jumping down the rest of the way onto the sand."Easy ninja, you don't want to break a leg before you start touring again," Fallon said in a teasing tone.God, I really needed her to stop talking right now.Or, just. Ever.I stayed away from girls for a reason - sure I was photographed numerous times with girls hanging all over me, and yeah I'd kissed hundreds of them, but they were never fans, they were never normal, they were act
FallonFriends. I think I hated that word. Maybe he did too? I couldn't read him, and I'd always thought I was good at that, reading people, observing, watching. He tensed at the strangest moments, hunched his shoulders in crowds as if he was afraid someone was going to shank him, and he was more comfortable naked than with clothes on.Four days in, and I wasn't any closer to figuring out Zane Andrews, if anything, he was getting more and more complicated, like a maze that twisted every time you thought you had the way out decided."I need food." Zane said a few minutes later, we'd been sitting on the beach holding hands in silence for ten minutes.I had no idea what it meant.To me? More than it should.To him? I was probably just a body, a hand, a small hand that fit in his gruff hands. Calluses from playing guitar rose over his rough palm, they kissed my soft skin, causing a friction that reminded me too much about who he was compared to me.He was like a shark, claiming he
Zane"Every time," Grandma whispered in her frail voice. "Every single time you get sad or scared... know that I'll always be with you." Her knotted arthritic hand touched my face. "I love you, Zane.""But..." I sobbed against the blankets, the blankets that smelled like her vanilla perfume and roses. "How will I know you're with me? How will I know if I can't feel you!" She was dying. And it was my fault. She always gave me her food. Every single time. She said I was a growing boy. And I was always hungry, but she needed meatloaf too! I told her so all the time, but she said she was fine with just a few bites.She always gave me the bigger portion.And watered down her own milk so I'd have some for dinner.It was one of my favorites. Cold milk.Memories of better days assaulted me.I was only seven.She took my sisters and me in when our parents abandoned us for drugs.And now she was leaving too.Why did everyone leave?Sobs wracked my body as Grandma hugged me with all