AngelicaI blinked up at the white ceiling, willing the tears to dry. Praying they wouldn't slip free - because once they were loose there was no stopping the onslaught of emotion that would follow, the devastation, the earth-shattering realization that nothing would ever be the same between us. Not if he could help it - and not with me constantly pushing him.But at least pushing him got me a reaction that proved he wasn't a complete indifferent sociopath.I refused to let him get to me.With a sigh I turned onto my side and stared out the window imagining a different time a different place, where he was by my side - and promised to never leave.That and the way his hands ran down my skin like he was getting ready to worship me the way he used to.Only his face hadn't been filled with wonder - disgust was more like it.I clung to the anger like a blanket. It was the only way to sleep, the only way I was able to close my eyes and pray the sickness in my chest away.Anger forc
WillI couldn't help it. I tried I even did that old trick where you look in the mirror and talk to yourself as if you're two separate people. Just. Play nice. I could be nice. I spoon fed celebrities on a daily basis. It was my job to kiss ass.I just didn't want to kiss hers.Because for some reason, being nice somehow felt like she'd won like she was getting in and the last thing I needed was to give her a foothold in any area of my life.So anger was all I had.Rudeness was what I clung to.And I hated myself for it because that wasn't me, I'd never been that guy, hell maybe she'd turned me into that guy. The one that literally didn't give a shit if she lived or died.No that wasn't true.I'd always cared.Too much.That was the problem.True to her word, Angelica had gotten ready in five minutes. She slid on her giant black sunglasses and looked ready to take on the world better than most girls who needed at least an hour to look presentable.Her good looks had alway
AngelicaI finally understood what prison would be like.By way of my agent.After his pep talk where I imagined kissing him about a million times before he gave me a pat on my shoulder and helped me to my feet, he walked me back to set and watched each scene.When I was done and Lincoln asked if I wanted to go out with the rest of the cast for drinks, Will stepped in. "She can't."Did I call him a babysitter earlier?The man was like a parent.A prison guard.A hot one.One that oozed sexuality with a swagger that refused to go away every time he walked in any direction. Hell, the guy was going to be eighty years old and still turning heads when he walked into restaurants."I should have gone," I said once Lincoln walked off with Dani and Jay. "It's good for the cast to bond.""He's your brother. You've had your time." Will shrugged.I clenched my teeth and followed him to the parking lot, but instead of going to his shiny car, he walked right past it.Shit, he was goin
AngelicaI stormed out of the restaurant, blindly walked down the boardwalk, and ignored Will's yells.Cameras flashing.Whispering.Pointing.I tripped on my flip flop again.And ran like hell.I ran until my legs burned.Until the threat of people taking pictures of me faded as my legs created distance between me and them.The minute my feet hit the sand, I grabbed my sandals and ran harder.The salty ocean air hit me in the face, mixing with the mist from the waves. Two years ago, my only goal had been to reinvent myself and ruin friends in the process. I was willing to do anything to be on top again.Two years ago, I wouldn't have just kissed Will I would have seduced him for the cameras.I would have taken body shots and laughed while he licked tequila and salt off my stomach.Now the idea of doing any of that for anyone other than myself, made me sick.My toes squished into the white sand.I was finally able to breathe. Finally able to think.I fell to my knees.
WillI was lounging on the couch when my phone started vibrating against the coffee table like it was possessed. I was almost afraid to look and when I did, my irritation only grew.Demetri: You suck as a human being.I glanced at the screen and rolled my eyes.Zane: Did you really kiss her for the press? What insane mean-spirited Oregon tree-hugging lunatic possessed your body and took over? #getbehindmesatanAnother text popped up.Alec: Today my daughter was constipated, I showed her your picture, she shit all over it. Thanks man...Yeah, message received loud and clear, I was just about to chuck my phone against the wall when another message popped up.Jay: We actually put you in a group messenger now so that we can all join in your shame, I added the girls, you're welcome. So, gang, let's talk this through. What exactly did Will do wrong today?Alyssa: Raises handJay: Alyssa, yes you may have the group texting floor.Hell, I needed new friends. Ones t
AngelicaIt was absolute mayhem.Zane was running around shirtless while Demetri chased him through the house, Alec and Nat were making out on the balcony, where I'm assuming they thought they were hidden, clothes were coming off faster than I could blink.My own brother was in the corner with Dani while Jay and Pris talked loudly about safe sex.And I was in the middle of it all, grinning, trying to keep track of all of the different conversations, the yelling, the buzz of being around people - nice people.I had never fit in.Not with anyone.And it's not like I suddenly did.But, for the first time, I wasn't sticking out, I was just... part of the gang. And it actually felt really good.Better than I could have ever imagined.Even though I was tired.And dreaming about my pillow."Question," Lincoln pried himself away from Dani and pointed down the hall. "Why doesn't this room have a door?"I felt myself tense. "That's a fantastic question, you should ask Will."Linc
WillSleep had always been difficult for me. I wasn't one of those guys who could just crash after a concert or a signing, I had to decompress, my mind was so aware of the constant conversations the chatter, the music, the noise - I had to just let my brain soak it all in, and sort it into the right places.Some nights it took hours.Other nights it took minutes.Lucky me, that after one brief conversation with Ang - and I was leaning toward hour two. One conversation that no matter how many times I twisted it around, tried to make it fit, it just didn't.I was in a weird place.A place where I wanted to hate her.And a place where I was suddenly just exhausted from all the hate.Keeping every single part of myself indifferent wasn't something I was practiced in when it came to women.I'd never been good at it.Until she'd forced me to be.Until I saw the way he looked at her and knew - the more I attached myself the more he would wonder what was so great about her - the m
AngelicaI panickedAnyone would panic after that scene.In bed together.Comfortable.Sexy.Hot.Sweating.I gripped the front of my baseball cap and tugged it harder onto my head as the Uber pulled up to set.Had someone said "Hey Ang you look a bit hot, need something?" I would probably ask for a cold slap to the face. This wasn't... real. He was helping me because he had no choice.There was a nothing there.There never would be again.No matter how treacherous my legs were as they wrapped around his body like they belonged together - like we still fit.But Will had changed.Everything about him was different, from the way he carried himself to the way his language had shifted from this playboy to some psycho adult who should have five kids and a mortgage.Tremors wracked my body, maybe I was getting sick, maybe it was him. It wasn't the type of physical response that happens after trying to get clean. A sick metallic taste filled my mouth.I needed a minute.One