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Broken

Waking up, I am smiling. Jackson looks down at me like he is hurt.

“What are you sulking for?” I ask, smiling at him.

“Not sulking, angry with myself for agreeing to whip you so hard. You have a big bruise and a cut. I don’t want to hurt you in that way.” His eyes never leave my body. I now remember last night, remember how I couldn’t feel the pain that gave me pleasure like I always had.

“I like the marks, the pain. I like it all. Why has that changed for you?” It is a stupid question. I know why it has changed for him.

“I just don’t want to hurt you like that. I don’t want to mark you, Alena.” He is talking like he has changed like he doesn’t want to please me.

“When you whip me, spank me, bite me, it hurts, yes, but in a good way. The marks after making me smile. When Max did it, it wasn’t through love; it was through hate. All I felt was pain, no love, no pleasure. The marks after made me sick, so don’t go thinking you are doing this to me is like him because it isn’t.” He nods bu
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