Yet again, the day passes quickly. I feel off though. I can’t shake it. It’s a weird, sick feeling I have. I have to concentrate though. I check that the flowers are being delivered on time, so they can be set up. I check the reception area and make sure it is also ready. I double-check the RSVP numbers for the reception.Everything crammed Wednesday and Thursday fly by. I am so busy, I have no time for anything really. I eat, plan and sleep. On Friday, Georgina and I spend the night relaxing, watching films. I can barely remember this week. It has gone by so fast.“Still got that sick feeling?” she asks, looking at me. I had to tell her because I was struggling to eat. I nod. Nothing is making it go away. “It has to be nerves then,” she smiles, but it makes no sense.“How can you be nervous if you want something? It makes no sense at all.” I laugh.“You're probably nervous about slipping and falling on your face.” She bursts into laughter at her own words.“If that happens, the wedd
Standing up, I turn my back to him. “Unfasten, please,” I ask, my back to him, waiting for him to unfasten the buttons. I feel him unfastening the buttons. I let the dress drop to the floor, slowly turning to face him.Here I am, wearing a white Basque, suspenders and stockings, not something he has seen me in. I am always naked at the start or not clothed for the bedroom.I watch as he looks me up and down, over and over, taking the image of me in. “Fuck!” is all that he can say as he grabs me, pulling me onto the bed with him. The night is amazing. We are equal, no restraints, no blindfolds, both equally in control. I’m shocked as I take his shirt off and the bruises all over his body. I try to act like I don’t notice them, fighting not to mention them. I want tonight to be perfect.Waking up, I walk downstairs, cooking breakfast for him for the first time, and it not burning. Just as I am finishing, he walks down. “That smells like food that is not burnt,” he chuckles, looking a
“Work was well, interesting. Apparently, two drunk women took charge of one of the rooms.” His hand swings and smacks my arse. I blush as he pulls me closer. “You actually let people watch you be pleasured? What happened to ‘no, not now’? Was I just the wrong person to do it with?” His question is teasing as he kisses my neck.I try to shake my head to clear my thoughts.“I was not being pleasured. I was fully clothed the whole time. I just played with Roxy, I didn’t think you would have an issue with it?” I ask, looking at him, wondering if I had really done the wrong thing. Maybe I went too far, and he didn’t want me to do things without him actually knowing. I was fully clothed, though.“No, I don’t mind what you did with Roxy. I doubt I would have minded had it been the other way around, but really, drunk?” He looks at me, waiting for a response.“I wasn’t, okay, we weren’t drunk. Yes, we had a few drinks for my hen, but we were both sound-minded. I only had three drinks.” I think
He comes back in and tries to smile, but I can see it is fake.“I need to leave tonight. I know it is short notice, but I was only given the time to come home to marry you.” He looks happy but sad at the same time. I look at his still-bruised face. How is this going to work? How can I go through pregnancy alone if he keeps leaving?“It will be for two weeks, maybe three. Tomorrow is booked and paid for, so go. You won’t be needed in the business. I told the staff and security to sort out everything else.” Standing, I just stare at him.We only got married yesterday!“I wish I could refuse. I can’t, Alena, you have to understand that. This is the last mission I will be on, though. The first part should have been completed but hasn’t been.” He starts kissing me. “I am asking Georgina to move in while I am away to watch you.” I need to snap out of this black depressive hole.It is hard, but I have to. It is not just him and me anymore. It is a baby and us.“I will be fine. I will be read
A knock at the door, and we all look towards it, none of us wanting to open it. We know it isn’t Jackson. Why would he knock? I feel the tears building in my eyes. I know he is gone. Liam gets up and answers it. He walks back through with Marcus, the lovely Marcus, no longer joking, laughing or winking at me.His face is down and broken. I don’t need to hear the words, but I want to.“I am sorry, we lost Jackson. Maxwell caused a fight again. Someone started shooting, and barrels around us exploded. We all ran, but afterwards, Jackson was nowhere.” His head drops, and I feel my world has just blown up. There is nothing left in this life for me.I feel like I am falling apart. Everything that was keeping me here has gone, and I feel like I have nothing to live for. The pain is unreal, and I can feel everyone looking at me. My vision is blurred. All I feel is anger, anger at everyone, everyone I know for letting him go.“No, no, he said he would be back!” I scream. I lunge at Marcus and
Arriving at the same church we got married in, I walk behind the empty coffin that is carried through. Liam, Marcus and the rest of the team are carrying it.The church is full. People are even standing. Clearly, Jackson had a lot of team members over the years. The ceremony starts. Georgina sits on one side, hugging me, and Jackson’s Mum on the other side. A few people get up to speak. Watching as it gets to my turn, I don’t know if I can cope and do this. How can I do this without him? I get up, walking up slowly, looking at my even bigger bump. The photo of Jackson rips my chest open. I feel like I have died. He shouldn’t be gone.“Jackson was a man who cared for everyone he knew deeply. He had lost his own baby and his sister but still kept fighting. He knew what people wanted, even when they didn’t know what they wanted.” Why am I doing this? I am accepting he is gone, yet I can’t accept it.“He opened me up. I was hidden and scared because of my past, scared because of what happ
I wake up screaming. I had the same dream again; I am shaking and soaked from the sweat. Yet, I long for these dreams. It is Jackson. Sure, it might hurt me to see him like that, but I get to see him and feel closer to him.I grab the laptop and check my emails. Everything is going well with the businesses. They are trying not to call me unless it is really needed. I am grateful. I don’t want to walk in there looking so pregnant, so most of my advice has been over the phone.I went in with the family for the will, but that was all. I now officially own his business. Everything is fine, which is good. I look at the time. 2 am. I walk down and grab a drink, walk back to bed and fall asleep.Getting up, I spend the day picking colours and decorations for the twin’s room. Liam says he will decorate it with the help of Georgina and Marcus. The next few months fly by, and my stomach blooms, getting bigger and bigger.I look down. I have 8 weeks left, just 8 weeks. The room is ready. It look
At 38 weeks pregnant, we decided we will try making the relationship work properly. I have decided I need to move on. It has been nearly 8 months since Jackson left. It feels too soon, but leaving it much longer means Liam will soon find someone else.Sitting here relaxed, everything feels great, laughing at the film. A pain shoots across my stomach, and I wrench. Liam jumps up.“Georgina, grab the bags.” He screams upstairs. I laugh and shake my head.“Liam, calm down. One pain doesn’t mean I am in,… Aaah, F-U-C-K,” I scream and bend forward as the pain shoots through me again.“Something is wrong, Liam. Something is really wrong.” I feel like I am being cut open, or worse like something is cutting me open from the inside. I have no idea what happened to Tallulah; Jackson had said she was born with half a heart. I didn’t even think to ask how they didn’t know, and now it is too late.Georgina grabs my bags, and we get in the car, travelling to the hospital. The pains get closer toget