And, we're at the start of the very rocky road. I think we all know that Gwen is not going to make this easy for Emlyn. Updates daily.
I had been waiting all day to see Emlyn. It was torture, knowing she would finally see me as her mate. But when the moment came, and I saw her, Morrigan shining in her eyes, calling me her mate, I got the scent of patchouli. I didn’t even know I liked patchouli, but when I turned and saw her, I knew she was my mate. Without thinking, I moved to go to her. A hand reaches out and grabs me, stopping my forward motion. “What the actual fuck, Rich.” Xander snarls in my ear. “Is this a game, because it’s not funny.” I look and see the absolute pain and shock on Emlyn’s face. I don’t understand what’s going on, I was so sure she was my mate. Finley was sure. ‘Fin, what’s going on.’ ‘I don’t know. I….I thought she was our mate, but…this she-wolf is our mate.’ I see Aunt Grace take control as everyone in the party stands around watching the disaster unfold. “Riley, Leana, please see to the guests. Richard, Emlyn, what is your name dear?” She asks my mate. “Gwendolyn.” She says, her eyes
I feel sick, like I’m in a haze and all I want to do is go hide away and never return. But that is not what a Guardian does, and I will act every bit of the Guardian that I am tonight. I know my family and friends will surround me and support me. I have a moment after leaving the room, where I get a sharp, shooting pain in my chest, and I know that Richie must have kissed Gwen. Goddess help me, I won’t survive if he decides to mate with her. “I won’t leave your side tonight, Emlyn.” Emerson has become my lifeline at the moment. He’s grounding me and helping keep me sane and I know he will never let me embarrass myself or fall on my face. Add to that, while everyone may be gossiping behind my back about the events from earlier, no one would dare to say anything to my face with Emerson at my side. Before I make it back to the party, I am rushed by Millie and Tansy. “Lady Luna Emlyn. Lady Luna Emlyn.” I feel Emerson tense, but I pat his arm. Of all people, the sprites would never do
My head is all over the place. Gwen tried to convince me to sleep with her last night, but I need to figure out what is going on first. I don’t understand why Finley is saying Gwen is our mate, but he’s unwilling to let Emlyn go. I know this is hard for Emlyn. We’ve been together for two years. I treated her like she was my Luna because I thought that’s what she would be. Now….now I don’t know how to make it right. Xander is furious with me, and Cayd won’t even speak to me. I’m so twisted up, I forgot that I have that council meeting today. If Emlyn hadn’t reminded me, I would have missed it. This meeting is to resolve the issues with Alpha Samuel and his pack attacking me, and what we will do with the rest of his remaining pack members. And, while I’m there, I want to see if any of the elders have heard of this happening before. I know Aunt Grace will be there, and I’m hoping we can get this resolved. I had planned to give Emlyn the watch last night, but when I saw Gwen and realize
When Richie and Gwen left for the council meeting together, I wasn’t sure if I was happy to have Gwen out of my hair for the day, or sad that Richie decided to take her instead of me. When Xander lets me know that they are staying the night away from the pack, sad wins out. My heart hurts knowing that they will be spending this time together, just the two of them. Later that night, we’re all sitting around the table for dinner, Leana, Xander, Cayd and I. I’ve been pushing my food around my plate. I know I need to eat, but I can’t make myself. The thought of trying to get food down right now makes me feel as sick as I still feel every morning when I wake up. “Em, you need to eat.” Cayd says quietly, nudging me. I take a bite of whatever is on my fork, I don’t know or care what it is. He watches me while I try to choke it down as it lodges in my throat. “Here.” Xander says, pushing my glass of water over to me. I drink it, forcing the food down. “I’ll be fine, you guys, I just….I……”
I must not have heard her properly. “What?” I ask, looking at her like she’s crazy. We were always so careful. I have condoms all over the fucking packhouse and forest for just that reason. “I’m pregnant.” She repeats. I open my mouth, not sure what I’m going to say. “If you fucking ask if it’s yours, I’ll rip your balls off.” She growls. “Of course, it’s mine, Emlyn. I would have known if you’d been with someone else.” I say but my mind is reeling. I’m already struggling with the fact that I can’t get it up with my mate unless I’m thinking about Emlyn and now, she’s telling me she’s pregnant with my child. I stand, turning and going to the window, running my fingers through my hair. “This is a fucking mess!” I whip back around and see Emlyn mouthing an apology to Xander. He’s apparently as taken off guard as I am. “How far along are you?” “Three weeks.” I do the math quickly. “The day that I killed Alpha Samuel.” She nods and I run my fingers through my hair again. There’s
It’s been two weeks. Every night I suffer through the pain of Richie’s mating with Gwen. Some nights, I’m lucky and it’s quick, others he takes his time. I know it’s taking a toll on me. There are dark circles under my eyes from my lack of sleep. My body is covered in bruises from the pain. I’ve begun to worry about my child. I have no idea how this might impact him. And it is a boy. Xander told me he could smell Richie on me two days after I told him I was pregnant, then Cayd confirmed it. But to be sure, I had Leana go with me to the pack hospital to have an ultrasound. I can’t look at Richie, so I had Leana take him the picture. I’ve started to show, so it’s not like it’s a secret anymore. Richie forbid me from sparring at warrior training and I can’t shift while pregnant, so I’m stuck running on my human legs through the forest to get my exercise and try to clear my head. Every day, I’m getting less and less sleep. I’m exhausted and when I finally start to fall asleep, the pain
Gwen finally convinced me to have sex last night. I’d put it off as long as I could, which is ridiculous. Why am I waiting to have sex with my mate? And it was terrible. I could barely stay hard. Her moans and grunts only made it worse. I tried going down on her but her taste…I don’t understand why she doesn’t taste better than Emlyn. Emlyn tasted better than anything I’ve ever tasted. Shouldn’t my mate taste even better than that? Instead, I felt like I was going to gag. I finally had to get her off and then, unlike any other man in history, I faked my orgasm. No matter what I did, I couldn’t make my dick work. And let’s not even go there about my canines. When I was with Emlyn, my canines extended almost every time I was inside her. I had to constantly be careful to NOT mark her. Last night, Gwen had lifted her neck, inviting me to mark her and…nothing. My canines didn’t extend, and Finley was quiet, almost like he was embarrassed that his body wasn’t responding properly either. So
Cayd drove me to Safe Haven. I’d never put much thought into the name of our pack. I know my parents came up with the name and that it’s a place where anyone that needs a safe place to live can come and be welcomed. But, as a kid, it was just our pack’s name. Now, as we cross onto my brother’s pack lands, I recognize the poignancy of the name. Here I am, running from a place where I can’t live any longer. And, of course, my brother welcomes me with open arms, just like he does with every other supernatural that requests sanctuary. I feel a tear roll down my cheek. I don’t even belong to a pack right now. I know my brother will rectify that quickly, but currently I’m a rogue. I rejected Richie as my Alpha and until I’m accepted into a pack, I’m packless. I don’t know if it’s the emptiness caused by rejecting Richie, or the loneliness of being a packless wolf, but either way I feel so lonely that all I want to do us curl up and die. I’m beginning to understand why rejected mates just