" Stop acting
so fucking wounded,
the only person
that can pick you up,
push your shoulders back
wipe your tears,
and mend the broken heart,
get you out of your
slump, is YOU! "
Shaina's P. O. V.
Having breakfast with my family again was an out-of-the-world experience, I really missed them. today at the dining table when mom and dad fed me the first bite like they used to do in my past life, my eyes teared up.
" Puchi what happened? why are you crying? " mom had asked me when I wiped my tears.
" it's too spicy, is it? here have some water " phuyi ( my dad) said as he handed me a glass of water. I tried not to sob in front of them because of the care I was receiving. he never cared for me like I was a kid, he did treat me right but no process like treatment from him but why am I even thinking about him. he never loved me, he never did.
phuyi wiped my tears I did not know were rolling down my cheeks, I broke down and hugged him as I cried silently, mom just watched us saying nothing but standing near me giving me the warmth I love.
" what is it bachcha? " (child) maa asked as I realized what I have done, they do not know about the second chance life nor I am going to tell them anything.
I shook my head as I lied " nothing maa, just the thought that you both will not be in California with me to feed m like this just... made me cry " I did not meet their eyes, I had just lied to my parents but they would not believe me even if I will tell them what happened with me.
they will take me to the best psychiatrist which I do not want, they shook their head as they kissed my forehead one by one. mom and dad fed me with their hands the whole breakfast and I loved every second of it.
this is what my life was before I moved to his hell
right now I am in my room while mom is out for some work and dad is gone to his office, I wish, I did not have to leave them once again but I have to, for my dreams which he crumbled under his expensive shoes.
why he lied to me? why he never loved me the way I did, why he never showed 1 percent affection towards me? why? why? why? by now I was a crying mess but no it's enough, he destroyed me once but I would not let that happen twice. I was foolish and childish but no not again.
I swear, I am not going to fall into his trap this time. I looked at myself and I actually feel bad for myself I have to look good this time, I need to change the future so we... I mean I and him, do not cross paths again and even if we do, he would not get the same power he had in past.
there was no butterfly and no Jaanu this time. only Shaina Awasthi.
I sat up and pulled a notebook and a pen from the drawer as I begin to write what I need to do, first I need my to-do list only after that I will be able to complete my tasks.
hmm, so first I need to change my appearance, get my grades higher than before, get a job then start up my own business in California.
in past he made me stay with him and bore my expenses it had touched my heart for the care he showed, at first I thought he did not know how to show his emotions but now I know that he never actually had emotions for me. hell, why am I even thinking about him again? why scientists never created anything to remove bitter memories?
I started to take 3 deep breaths to calm myself down otherwise I know I will end up crying my eyes again, my head already hurts because of dehydration. I will try my best this time to prove my worth to myself.
x x x
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" the onewho falls and get upis much stronger thanthe one who never fell"Author's P. O. V.For the next two hours, Shaina searched the whole internet for her exercise, diet, and body remedies. She actually found some amazing stuff to lose weight and diet. she took advice from her mother for her skin and eyes.for the first day, Shaina was super tired, she felt like her limbs will fall off her body and the food felt like she ate water... totally tasteless but the results she could see were amazing. at night she did her skincare routine. she tried to distract herself buthisthoughts did not let her sleep for late in the night but because of being tired she falls asleep.x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xthe next day when the alarm rang, all Shaina wanted was to snooze
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The real me...Different for different people,sometimes even difficult to understand,want to kill people who hurt me,but end up talking nicely to them,overthinker, sometimes reach to conclusionseven if it is not going to end the same way,straight forward, say whatever comes in my mind,do not think what you think,because it does not matter to me ~ Shaina
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Every heart has a pain,only the way ofexpression is differentFools show it in eyes,While she hide it inher smile ~ ShainaAuthor's P. O. V.Shaina ran away from there as she walked towards the road aimlessly, tears were falling down her eyes as the same scene when he pushed her off the cliff came in front of her eyes." dard aksar pani ban kar behta hai, par pani bhi dard ka ehsaas de hi jata hai, " She heard someone as she looked up and saw a guy staring at her with concern. ( pain usually flow in the form of water but that water also gives an essence of pain)" I am sorry but I could not see a beautiful girl c