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50.1 EVERSON

Dear Everson,

It's difficult for me to write this letter because my hand keeps twitching and my tears won't stop falling; I don't even know where to begin because I don't know how to finish what I've started either. I'm going to make a decision that I'll live to regret: when midnight comes and you fall asleep, I'm going to leave your house. And the worst part is that I need to take some of your money—I don't want to do it, but I don't have a choice; I'm back in the scenario where everything is going to fall apart if I don't act. I can hear you talking to Aunt Mary about me tonight, and I am deeply hurt by her words. I thought Aunt Mary had finally accepted me, that she wouldn't question my existence or story any longer. I know I have no right to feel hurt when I was the one who caused you problems, but in my days of living here under your roof, I slowly began to feel the maternal bond to Aunt Mary that I didn't realize I was finding and longing to feel. It's difficult; i
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