The hallways were abuzz with student chit-chat as I made my way to the school library. I heard my phone vibrate through my jean pocket and I took it out to see who would text me whilst at school.
It was a text from Mum saying I had a doctor's appointment later in the afternoon.
Sighing, I typed a quick okay before stashing my phone back into my pocket.
I spent the rest of my morning in the library studying as I waited for lunch to roll up. And when it finally did, I packed my things and went to the school parking lot to wait for her to come pick me up.
"Alexis," I heard Asher's voice a few metres from where I stood.
I turned to see him jogging toward me all sweaty. "Where are you going?"
"Doctor's appointment," I simply said and he understood.
"Do you think there's going to be any good news this time around?"
"I highly doubt that's a possibility right now."
Asher sighed, "have a bit of hope would ya?"
A dry laugh escaped from my lips unwillingly. "You know, I hoped I wasn't diagnosed with such an illness at the age of nine, but guess what? That didn't happen."
"I understand that, it's just that-" I cut him off.
"No, you don't understand. you're not the one walking about knowing that any second you could just drop dead and you wouldn't even know it."
Mum's car decided that that was the best moment to pull up in front of us and I quickly got in and shut the door.
"Hey Asher," mum spoke looking between us with raised eyebrows.
"Hey Kate."
"Can we go already?" I asked impatiently.
"See you around Asher," she said and Asher waved.
We sat there in silence with me staring out the window but I could feel her gazing at me every once in a while but she didn't care utter anything and neither did I.
-----☆-----
"Let's run some tests on you and see what we have."
I sat there and did as the doctor said- turning, lifting, laying and what-not.
"Can I have a word with you Kate?" Dr. Dave said and mum followed him out of the little room we were currently in.
Have a bit of faith. As if that's something I can will myself to do at this point.
I sat in the little white room alone and let my thought run to the most bizarre of scenarios. What if I was never diagnosed with it? What if I got to live my life the way I wanted? What if I never get to go to college after all my hard work? Would I still be the person I am today? Those questions kept playing around in my head. But the one question I never wanted to ever think about was how my family would be without me here in there lives.
I don't know how long I zoned out-but I was pulled out of my reverie when Dr. Dave and mum came back into the room. "The tests came back negative and we are worried that the illness has reached its high and there's nothing we could do," Dr. Dave spoke. "But we will still keep you on your regular treatment until we have further information on what can be done."
I released a breathy sign, "I don't want to keep doing the treatment anymore if there's no surety that I still have enough time left."
"What! No honey, we can't stop your treatment," mum said as tears rimmed her eyes.
"But it's just a waste of money."
"No, it's not and you father and I will do everything to make sure you're better."
A dry laugh escaped from my lips as I shook my head, "you just don't get it, do you? I've lived for eight years with this thing and I can't keep doing this to you, to everyone and more importantly to myself."
"I'm afraid that's not a good idea Alexis," Dr. Dave spoke, "you've been my patient for eight years and I know you're a fighter and you will get through this."
"Oh please! This isn't something about being a fighter, it's about life and I am slowly losing mine," I scoffed.
Mum's eyes were now puffy and her nose was a ruby red colour but no tears were visible.
"I want to go home."
"Okay dear," mum said and we left the hospital and everything in it.
The atmosphere in the car was so tense that you could be able to cut through it with a knife. I didn't want to say anything after that appointment and I hoped mom felt the same way but guess I'm always wrong at everything.
"Honey we need to talk about this."
"There's nothing to talk about."
Mum glanced at me momentarily before focusing back on the road ahead. "You can't stop your treatment and you know your brother will highly be against that," she said. "How will Asher feel when he finds out that you don't want to have your treatment anymore? Do you think he will be happy about that?"
"Suffice to say James will be beyond annoyed and quite certainly livid with me but I can talk him into trying to understand my decision," I spoke, "and for Asher, I don't know what he will say. He might possibly stop talking to me after I tell him."
"Then why do you want to go ahead with it when you know you'll be hurting the ones that love you?"
"It wasn't an easy decision to come up with," I admitted. "But I am most definitely not going back on it."
Mum was quiet for a while and I assumed that was it with the talk.
"Your dad and I will be broken and you know that."
"I know."
And that was that. We drove the rest of the way home in silence as I stared at the buildings that we passed in a blur. This is the right decision, I told myself.
When we finally pulled up into the very familiar driveway-we sat there in silence with no one making a move until I got out and mum quickly followed after locking the car.
The front door was unlocked and immediately I knew dad was home already, "Dad?"
"In the kitchen honey," he shouted and I followed the voice.
"How did the appointment go?" he asked once I was in view.
"The same as usual."
Dad nodded and mum later appeared besides me.
"I thought we could hang out with the whole family like old times this Saturday," dad began, "you can invite Asher as well as his part of the family.
"But James is at school," I said with a raised eyebrow.
"Lexi!"
No way, that voice is familiar but I thought-no it can't be him.
"James?"
"Of course, it's me, who else would it be?" he asked from behind me and I turned to pull him in for a hug.
"I missed your annoying self," I sighed clutching onto him and never wanting to let go.
"Missed you too baby sis. But if you don't let go anytime soon then I might die from suffocation," he joked to which I reluctantly pulled back. "Aren't you supposed to be at school?"
"Yeah but I took a couple of days back so I can hang with you guys and annoy my baby sis," he said. "So, are we up for that family hangout or what?"
"Yes, we are."
Mum finally spoke after standing there for a long time watching us and what she said made my blood run cold.
"Alexis has something to tell you about the appointment."
SATURDAY WAS THE earliest I'd ever woken up before as the excitement was overwhelming. I couldn't sleep the whole night as I kept tossing and turning-trying to push the thoughts away from my mind but I couldn't.I got up and took a warm shower before throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt with some sneakers. I pulled my hair into a quick braid and quickly texted Asher finding out if he was still coming before going downstairs where I heard chatter."Morning," I chirped taking a seat next to James."Someone's happy," he commented from his seat at the kitchen island while mum was busy making breakfast."Can't I be happy for no particular reason?"James pierced his bottom lip in thought. "Nope. Knowing you then there's obviously a catch," he said smugly.I rolled my eyes at him, "you're just jealous."James laughed, "me? Jealous of my kid sister? Oh please.""Enough," mum said smile plastered on her face. "Can you two just quit
SPENDING MY SUNDAY holed up in my room wasn't something I wanted to do. After my confession yesterday, I tried texting Asher multiple times apologising and asking him to hear me out but I got no reply. And James on the other hand hadn't come out of his room the entire time which was something I didn't expect from him considering how the boy loved food.I sighed, this was my own doing and I had to fix it immediately. I couldn't have both my brother and best friend mad at me simply because I made my choice about my life-which I knew they just wouldn't understand why I did it in the first place."Honey you need to come out of your room and eat something," dad's voice sounded outside my door.I groaned and pulled the duvet further up my head. "I'm not hungry," I shouted.I heard dad sigh before there was a soft click and then a creek as the door opened. I still didn't pull the duvet off even when I felt the bed dip as dad sat down."I know you don't wan
MONDAY IS USUALLY one of the days that I look forward to the most as it's always the start of a new school day, but not today. Today I was anxious about seeing Asher again and wondering if he would even talk to me considering I left him countless voicemails and texts asking him to talk but all went answered.I walked to my locker with the hopes of spotting Asher there but I was only disappointed when I didn't see him standing there waiting for me. I sucked it in, grabbed my books and made my way to Physics class. At least learning about Gravity, Momentum and Kinematics would help distract me from my thoughts.The morning classes went by in a blur with me mostly spacing out of each and every class I had. I could not, by the life of me stop thinking about Asher. And no, it wasn't because I was secretly in love with my childhood best friend, but more so the fact that I had potentially pushed away the only friend I had."Alexis what is the answer here?" Mrs. Briggs ask
TODAY WAS GOING to be different. I didn't why or how, but I just knew something was going to happen that broke my usual everyday boring routine.I didn't know what it was but something felt different. I got to my Math class and took my usual seat at the front. Yes, I wear spectacles and sit at the front of all my classes, that doesn't mean anything. It just simply means that I prefer being in front so I can actually see what's happening.Mr. Finn was sitted at his desk going over some papers. "Good morning Alexis!" he said as he looked up from his papers. I smiled in return and took out my notebook and textbook.The other pupils began filing in and the last one to walk in was Nick. What, Nick?Mr. Finn clasped his hands together, "ah yes the new student I was talking about last week is here, care to introduce yourself young man?"All the girls were already beginning to swoon over him and I wouldn't blame them. He was dressed in black wash jeans, a g
THE WIND WAS blowing my hair in every direction and the adrenaline that was pumping through my blood was amazing. I don't remember the last time that James took me riding because it almost feels like a life time ago. But now, as I sat behind Jake tightly clutching onto his torso-I felt like the whole world was moving too fast, like nanobots and before I knew it, we were pulling up into the very familiar driveway.I hopped off and took the helmet off, making sure to give it back to Jake as I slung my rucksack over my left shoulder.Kai and Nick pulled up beside us and took off their helmets before placing them on their motorcycles and finally walking up to Jake and I."Come on let's go," I said before turning around and walking to the front door. I pulled my keys out of my jean pocket and unlocked it."Dad are you home?" I shouted as I passed over the threshold."In the kitchen pumpkin," dad shouted back.I looked back at the three guys stand
I COULDN'T SLEEP the whole night. I kept tossing and turning as beads of sweat formed on my forehead. I knew I should have taken my medication but I didn't. In fact, I had poured it all down the toilet earlier with the hopes of my mum not finding out that I decided to stop taking my medication all together.I wasn't quite sure if it was the lack of medication, the lack of sleep or the fact that I was feeling queasy over Nick's new reaction towards me. Should I be happy that he at least is starting to be nice to me? I didn't know.When I did finally manage to fall asleep, it was past three in the morning and I didn't get any sleep as the stupid alarm clock decided it was the right time to blur it's annoying tune.I groaned and pulled the duvet over my head once more and went back to sleep.Minutes later, the duvet was being yanked away by someone. "You better wake up now or so help me I will drag your arse out of bed," the sweet voice of my mum spoke.
I SPENT THE night in hospital and when morning came I couldn't be happier to get out of there. Hospitals remind me of death and all the loss and heartbreak that people go through in them.When Dr. Dave came to release me, I was already dressed in the clean fresh clothes that we left out for me."I can see you're in a hurry to leave," he joked."Honestly, I'd rather be at school than in here," I said pointing around the room for emphasis. "It's so depressing, though the pastel gives it a bit of life."Dr. Dave chuckled. "You wouldn't be here in the first place if only you had followed the rules," he said and I rolled my eyes at him. "Your mum is waiting for you outside," he said."Thanks."We walked out of the room together heading towards the main entrance in silence but I knew he wanted to say something. Though I didn't know what it would be."I'll see you for your monthly check up," he said. "And please do try to take care of yourself beca
I WOKE UP early and got dressed in some comfy and presentable clothes. Then I grabbed my phone and bag and headed out the door.It was still pretty early and since I didn't want to wake any of my parents, I quietly tip-toed downstairs and made myself a toast with a cup of black, sugar-free coffee-just the way I liked it. I quickly ate the toast and downed the coffee which burned my mouth in the process and then I proceeded to leave the house.It was still pretty dark outside as I sat on the front porch waiting for Asher's white SUV to pull up any minute. And sure enough, he pulled up at exactly 6:30am.I stood up and dusted imaginary dirt from my jeans as I got into his car. "Morning.""Morning," Ash responded with a small smile on his face. "Are you ready for an incredible morning looking for the best puppy ever?" he beamed as he began driving."Of course. Steph will totally be all over you today," I mused.Asher took a quick glance at me as he s