Maya burst into cackling laughter when I delivered Cazz’s message—which made me giggle too, but would disappoint him, I suspected. He had wanted to piss her off.
I watched her face and tried to fix the memory in my mind to share with Cazz later, because I couldn’t reach him from here in her cave—a fact that made my chest a little cold.
This morning I had almost turned around and fled back to my quarters when I was halfway to Maya’s cave, because I could feel Cazz fading. But I had made myself keep going. He needed space, he was going to get it. And I would survive.
He’d said the link would come back when we were closer. I just prayed he was right. And that he didn’t take
~ CASIMIR ~ When Jesse faded from the link it was a relief. And a niggling anxiety. I could still feel her, knew her to be drawing closer to Maya’s cave. But there was a fog between us now that wouldn’t let me reach her with words. Or rather she couldn’t reach me. The cold side of me could finally breathe. The warm half of my heart wanted to storm out into the tunnels and go after her, making certain that she could hear me when I got close enough. But I knew that was stupid. Of course she’d hear me again when she returned. I’d told her as much. Bonded mates didn’t lose their connections unless… unless one of them breached the bond. And neither of us was going to do that. I swallowed quickly and considered that thought and the curious feeling it spawned in my chest. Something tingly and— “Cazz?” I startled, realizing I was standing on the opposite side of the room, staring at the wall, and had completely tuned out from the discussion of the Council. I turned quickly to face the
~ JESSE ~Maya and I finished earlier than usual, which just made me jittery because I knew Cazz wasn’t going to be done with his meetings yet, and I was nervous about whether he’d retreat from me again. So I took the coward’s way out and distracted myself.I called the younger three of the females Maya had introduced to me to, and this time I wasn’t going to be distracted. I needed to choose one of them to present at the Selection.I reached for them through the mindlink, but struggled at first. I was still deep in the catacombs, walking towards the Royal tunnels, so maybe I was too far away. But after a minute, I found Reeca and even though I was struggling to hold the link, managed to communicate to her that I wanted to talk to her and Wylde and Tynker.To help me, she linked with the other two. And with all three of them in a link together, I was able to hold it more easily.‘Will you be in trouble if you leave whatever you’re doing and come visit with me right now?’ I asked them,
~ JESSE ~ Wylde’s eyes were wide and her mouth open. But Tynker was shaking her head. “Not me, please. I’m not… I don’t want a high ranking male.” I blinked. I hadn’t thought about that. I swallowed hard, frustrated with myself for putting it out there, assuming that they’d be excited. “Well, that makes that easy. I’m sorry, Tynker. I didn’t mean to push you—” “You didn’t. I think it’ s a great idea. I just… I don’t want it to be me, that’s all,” she said, putting her hands up and looking back and forth between Reeca and Wylde. I looked at Wylde uneasily. I liked her a lot, but something told me she just wasn’t ready for this. And that was going to get super awkward if Reeca also didn’t want to be chosen. But perhaps Maya would help me ready her? So I looked at Reeca, who was staring at me like I’d just shifted. “Reeca, if you have feelings for someone else and don’t want to be considered, I don’t want to push you,” I said quietly. She dropped her chin and looked down at her
~ JESSE ~ Reeca lifted her hands to soothe me. “No, we do get a choice if a male wants us. It’s not forced on us. We can accept or reject them. It’s just… it’s just that I am unlikely to ever have a powerful choice outside of this. If you choose me, Jesse, I would be stupid not to take it if one of the males proposes.” “Then, I don’t understand the problem?” She gave a dry smile. “Neither do I, honestly. I guess I’m just nervous at the idea. This would… lift me much faster and higher than I’d get on my own. And I don’t want to be a reason that you’re brought lower than you should be, either.” “Don’t worry about me. My mate is super-wolf, remember?” I said with a snort. She smiled, but shrugged. “I think you should know… Those of us who aren’t obsessed with rank… we love what you’ve done with the King.” “What I’ve done?” I asked, confused. “Run around crying and confused and pissing him off?” “No, no,” she said with a breathless laugh. “Just… treating him with softness.” Then sh
~ JESSE ~ ‘If Cazz is really opening up… this might be the time to tell him what you were fleeing at home. He might be more understanding than you think,’ Rake sent carefully. I sighed, nodding. ‘I know about his dad. At least, some,’ I sent sadly. Rake blinked. ‘He told you?’ ‘He had a dream and… since we linked I only saw a couple flickers. I still don’t know the story, he didn’t want to talk about it. But I understand a bit better now.’ ‘Good. That’s really good, Jess. He’s opening up.’ ‘Yes, but for how long?’ I grumbled and tried to push away the tension twisting in my chest. I hadn’t realized how much I relied on Rake, how much reassurance it gave me knowing he was always around. How much stronger I felt with him there. And now I was facing days, perhaps some of the most uncertain with Cazz, without him? But then I remembered that barren canyon of pain in Cazz and why God had brought me here. I sighed. Then cleared my throat. ‘God doesn’t make mistakes. There has to be
~ CASIMIR ~ All thoughts of time, the council, meetings, even the humans fell out of my head like raindrops through the leaves—falling to be trampled underfoot without notice. Jesse leaned into that kiss, her hands climbing my chest, plowing into my hair, and when I reached for her buttons, she arched into my hands and returned the favor, working quickly to get my shirt open first and stroking my chest with a sigh that sounded like relief. Her scent was rich with desire and need, drenched in thrill, but tinged with the blade edge of apprehension. Once I had her shirt open, I cupped her jaw and kissed my way down her neck, plunging one hand into her leathers and growling with approval when I found her already heated and slick for me. The moment I slid a finger against her, she sucked in a breath and hollowed her lower back to press herself into the touch with such eagerness that I chuckled, my voice deep and ragged, because my body was already demanding her. At some point I remov
~ CASIMIR ~ Home. Mate. Soul— I drew back to leave her body, but Jesse grabbed for me, never breaking the gaze. “No, Cazz! Don’t be scared!” Her eyes were wide, and fear tainted her gorgeous, rich scent. Shuddering, I bent forward, bracing one arm on the bed, grounding myself, preparing to tear out of her gaze and take back control. All the words to dismiss her rose in my throat—how dare she call me frightened? I could make her scream. I could make her beg. I could make her come over and over and over— But I still hadn’t turned away, and her beautiful eyes softened. She gasped as I drew out of her all the way because I’d intended to punish her, and seduce her. But I hesitated… Then she smiled. And I was fucked. Straightening with a broken moan in my throat, I pulled her right to the edge of the bed, held her hips and plunged into her again with a shaky cry. “Yes, Cazz! Yes!” she whispered, clinging to me as if I was life. She knew nothing. My ribs were glass, shivering an
~ CASIMIR ~We lay together for a long time in silence, both of us regaining our breaths. I prayed she was returning to her equilibrium better than I was. My body quivered with a strange joy and terror at the same time. And yet, I didn’t want to move. Didn’t want to break the spell she’d cast on me. Something flowed between us. Something that my heart ached for—and yet… I wanted to recoil from it.The tug of war was exhausting, but that just gave me more reason to stay there.I sighed heavily when she turned her head to face me and our noses almost touched. She stared at me with the same combination of joy and fear in her eyes that trembled in my chest.But as I shifted my weight so I wouldn’t crush her, a memory triggered in my mind.…laying in warm furs that stuck to the sweat on my back, her lush body under mine. Even her eyes smiled when she turned to look at me and combed the hair off my forehead with her long, elegant fingers.We both smiled. I’d never felt anything so simply, p