They made love on literally every viable surface of that hotel suite. She thought the suite at the hotel back home was impressive, this was far nicer. He was out on the balcony begging for her to share a smoke with him so he could proudly adore her bed hair when she saw it. Bukowski's "Love is a Dog From Hell". Definitely his copy. It was worn and rolled like it had traveled. She grabbed the hotel pen from the counter and opened to cover page. She inscribed. "There's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out, but I'm too clever- I only let him out at night sometimes, when everybody's asleep. I say, I know you're there so don't be sad.
Then I put him back.
And he's singing a little in there
I haven't quite let him die
And we sleep toget
David offered her a drink. And she took it. She watched him run his fingers through his sandy blonde hair. And she began to think about The Great Gatsby. How the choices we make in life can sometimes haunt us forever. She had left her marriage. She took that chance. And what if David was something she'd regret forever? She wasn't getting any younger. She didn't know how old he was, but she thought about Gatsby and Daisy. Could she see him married to someone else in a few years and honestly tell herself she'd have no regrets? Rhys was in the back of her mind. But he lived states away and had a career in movies. What would ever realistically come of that? Could anything? Was their attraction just pure sex? David was right in front of her. He was tangible. Real. Beautiful. Rich. (Not that rich mattered but damn it was good icing on his amazingness cake). She decided she'd slam her drink and see what she felt. So she did. She felt good still about this line of thought. "David" she
After showers and packing, they made their way to the airport. They grabbed a couple of bagels from the airport baked good stand and boarded the plane. There wasn't a lot of time for conversation. Once they settled, Pearl had to ask David what was nagging at her. And she knew he had questions too. She had told him she was in love with him. She didn't know if she just regretted saying it or if she was feeling guilty because it wasn't entirely the truth. She was a little drunk. Caught up in the moment. And Gatsby. But maybe she did really feel that way. She loved him. She was sure of that after this week. But in love with him. That was something she was always afraid of."You didn't ask me." Pearl said. "You didn't ask me if I was on birth control. You didn't hesitate or get a condom. Why? Wouldn't that worry you?" She asked David. He looked at her with a smile. "First of all, you told me you'd only been with two people. I've only been with two people. The likely hood of us
Rehearsal was great. It felt good. The loud drums. The bass. They guitars. It felt alive. The had a solid set going for the following Saturday, even though she didn't have a chance to work on any songs when she was out of town, it came together and she learned the two that were unfamiliar pretty quickly. They were working on another original and Dylan was eager to make suggestions and talk her through some lyrics changes. It was awesome. "We are going to see Blake's band tonight. Dylan has the night off. Tony is coming out for a little while too. You should come Pearl." John said as they were packing up. She was exhausted. But she decided to go for a little while. She felt she had been neglecting the boys lately and they were her closest friends. She ran back to her place to change out of her sweaty rehearsal clothes and realized that laundry was an afterthought the way this month had went. She had a pair of jeggings and two shirts clean. Both were not for public exposure. So she gr
"I can't believe I am so stupid. I'm so glad I'm not exclusive with the prick. I feel bad, Dylan! I felt bad because I slept with someone BEFORE him! What is wrong with me!! Why do men think I'm disposable?? Why am I so unlovable?? Am I ugly? Is my body ugly?" Pearl was hysterical. They had made it back to her apartment, barely. She was moving kicking boxes that were still on her floor and crying. "Pearl you have to calm down. It's not you." "Yes. Yes it's me. I know that now. This proves it. Am I ugly?" Her mascara was running down her face and he felt his heart ripping apart for her. It hurt him, physically to see her like this. She walked over to him. "Tell me the truth. I need it. Is it me?" She moved the straps of her dress off her shoulders and stood in front of him in nothing but panties. "Pearl, don't do that." And he grabbed a blanket and handed it to her. "You don't even want me." She said.He walked to her, within inches of her face and looked in her eyes
Pearl cancelled with Dylan for dinner. She just couldn't get herself out of house. She was tired and let down. Dylan didn't need to be around her like that. No one did. She took a hot bath and went to bed early. She knew the next day was going to awful.She got to the office early. She didn't see David. It was the first time in a long time he wasn't there to greet her in the morning. It hurt. She finished her morning meeting with her assistant and made her way to the break room to get coffee. She was pouring a cup when she someone next to her. She looked up and saw David standing there. "Good morning, Pearl" he looked tired. Not his normal put together look. Pearl didn't respond. She just walked away back toward her office. Seeing him stung. She ached for him still. She was so defeated by this. "Pearl I need you in my office, we have a problem with the new billboards." David buzzed. Great, Pearl thought. Just what I need today. She made her way to his office. He was on a
The next couple of days at work were weird. Really weird. David kept to himself and she buried herself in her work. She had invited Dylan for drinks Tuesday night and she was looking forward to it. She had a new song in mind and wanted to get it finished for their rehearsal Wednesday. He showed up on time and gave her a big smile and hug. "Missed you Pearl" he said. "Same. Thanks again for Saturday. You told me not to apologize so I won't, but just know I appreciate you""Anytime" he said."So this is what I've got so far. Let me know what you think..." and Pearl started singing the words."Second guesses and first hand liesLosing ground and wondering whyNever felt like home, you knew I'd flyNever mattered, We wanted the lie...""That's really good, Pearl." Dylan said. "I have an idea for the chorus...."You're done being an island, baby.And I'm ready to meet your shore.It's halfway to
"What?" Pearl asked. She was certain she had heard him wrong. "That's my only condition" he replied. "Why? What does us being married have to do with anything?" Pearl asked. "I have my reasons. You don't need to understand them all. I will tell you that him having children to pass this all down to means something to me. Also, it's my last gift I can give him. He gets the company and he gets you. Then I can feel I did good by him in the end"."So I'm some kind of reconciling parting gift?" Pearl was furious. "To me yes. To him, I don't believe so. I believe his feelings for you are genuine" he said. "Have you told him any of this?""No. Not yet. I am not sure when I will" he replied."I need to be somewhere. I'd love to say it's been nice to see you but that would be a lie".And she left to head to rehearsal.During her drive, she was furious. And the more she thought about it, the angrier she became. "Why? Why was that even somethin
"Would you like a drink?" David asked Pearl."I'm ok, actually. I wanted to see you. I wanted to let you know I believe you about what I saw the night at the cafe. It's not my place anyway. We aren't together in that way and it wasn't any of business. I was a little drunk and over reacted. I'm sorry."David studied her, trying to get a read. Did she want him to suggest something more official? He didn't want to try to pressure her in any way. "I understand and you don't need to apologize. Just because we aren't official in whatever capacity that even means doesn't mean I will disrespect you. You can't tell someone you love them and then purposely deceive them. It isn't right." David wanted her to know she was safe with him. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that too." Pearl continued, "Being with you in Seattle was not at all what I expected. I got to know you in way I wasn't prepared for. I really enjoyed it and am happy I was able to be there for you t