That night I couldn't sleep well. I was angry with everything that was going on. Nothing was in my control. I wanted to be out of here but now I was married and leaving marriage wasn't so easy. You could be stuck in it for life. Life? Can you believe it? I have to spend the rest of my life with this devil. Shit. How did I end up here? The next day, I stayed in the room, watching movies to get my mind off everything. I was trying to not think about him but he was all that was in my head. "I hate him. I hate him," I told myself time and again. "I am never going to accept him or this marriage," I almost screamed. Thanks to Tina lunch and snacks were brought for me into the room. For dinner, I told Tina I would come to the kitchen and serve myself. She didn't have to wait for me as I wasn't hungry. She at first insisted on bringing dinner for me but I refused. I didn't want to see that bloody devil's face. He ruined everything. That bastard. It was already evening and I don't know
I was in the garden when I got a call from my sister. She told me they were expecting us tomorrow for Dar. Hell, I didn't even know Teej was already here which was the day after tomorrow. I have no new Sari. They would expect me to wear a Sari. I don't want to and I only have the two saris I wore on our wedding day. My parents will find a way to taunt me again. (Teej is a festival where Nepali women celebrate by keeping fast for the long age of their husband or young girls keep fast to get a nice husband. Some even keep fast without drinking water.) I went inside and Rima was there with the devil, talking. My blood started to boil looking at him. Every time I saw him I wanted to start a fight. He gets on my nerves just for existing. I was about to go towards my room when Rima called me. "Hey," she waved. I stopped and turned to look at her. Devil's eyes were also on me. Our eyes met but I focused my attention on Rima. She walked towards me and then what shocked me was she pulled me
The next morning, I was all alone in bed. I don't know why but I didn't like it. Today, we were going to my parent's house so I got dressed. Dar was at night but prarthi told me to come early. I stood at the window admiring the day and waiting for him but as I looked down he was on the bench reading newspaper. Was he not going with me? Maybe he doesn't want to go? Why would he? He doesn't owe me anything but they want to see him more than me. That's why they called us early. My legs took me to the garden. I stood staring at his back, thinking if I should go near him or not. He kept the newspaper and looked straight. What if he says he doesn't want to go? What am I gonna say to my sister? My parents will taunt me the whole day for not being able to bring him. No, I will beg him to go with me. If he doesn't go with me then they will eat my brain and make it impossible for me to live. I slowly went and sat on the bench. Five minutes went by and neither he said a word nor did I. Tina bro
I went straight to take a shower to cool my mind. I sat in the shower feeling bad about everything. My energy was totally drained. I shouldn't have gone there but if I had not, they would have come here or called the devil to visit them. Anyhow they would have made me go there. The water running out of the shower washed all the bad energy out of my body. My tears didn't stop and I wept my heart out. This never-ending pain was too much to bear. If it had come from a guy I would have left him, If it had come from a friend I would have ignored her or cut her out of my life but this was coming from my parents. What could I do instead of accepting it and letting it destroy me? You can't choose your family. You can only learn to live with it, live with them. Nearly an hour later I came out and got ready to sleep but there was no sign of him. I looked around and went to his office. He was not there. I came back and sat on the bed. "Where was he?" I got up and looked outside from the windo
The Shiva temple was half an hour far from where we lived. It was near the jungle and the devotees' crowd was huge and the line? oh, don't even ask about the line in the temple. It felt like the whole city's women were there and even males. We came back like maybe five hours after worshipping Shivaji. I was worn out. My legs were hurt and my feet were aching. We came inside and found out Rima had already left. I went straight to the room and got freshened up. I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. The girl in front of me was unrecognizable and remembered that I haven't thanked him. He entered the room and I could see he was exhausted too. He gave me a tired smile. "Thanks," I looked anywhere but him. I felt his eyes on me. He must be thinking why I was thanking him. "For this," I showed him the sari which I had taken off and placed on the couch. "And this too," I looked at the sari I was wearing. I was wearing another sari that I found in the closet. It was the same color, red tha
The next morning, after I prepared breakfast I went to the garden without having it. I wanted to have it with him and when I asked Tina to call him, she said he wasn't in his office. So, I decided to do some gardening. I was enjoying gardening when he came with breakfast. I looked at him and he smiled. "Let's eat," he said. His voice was soft and he seemed happy. I washed my hands and sat on the bench. We then ate in silence. "If you don't mind, I was thinking.. if...you know..i .... I want to take you out...." He whispered in nervousness, playing with his hand. I looked at him and laughed a little. Was he nervous? I just sat there looking at him and he frowned at his hands when I said nothing. "For... dinner," he hesitated. "I didn't mean to.....laugh," I apologized. Questions filled my mind. I mean he never asked me to go out before so why now? "Before? Girl, you have been married for what maybe 10 days?" I told myself. I was in my own thoughts while he was looking
I was still furious about the kiss and more than that I was angry with him for forgetting me while Ratna was there. I skipped breakfast so I didn't have to see him. I came down to tell Tina that I would be preparing for lunch. Tina told me not to make food spicy because he doesn't eat spicy food. "Be careful. He can't tolerate it," "Can't tolerate, huh?" I smirked while saying that in my head. I told her, I will make sure not to make the food spicy but guess what? I made it so spicy that even the spicy lover would run from the food. I giggled thinking about how I was gonna make him pay. I imagined him rushing to drink milk or water screaming in pain. I knew, that it would make him angry but who cares. Once I prepared food I asked Tina to call him. "He will love this all," she said before leaving to call him. After a few minutes, she came back to let me know that he would want to have his dinner inside his office. It made me angry but when Tina took food to his office I felt qui
For three days, I didn't see him anywhere. At night I would feel him beside me in the bed. He would pull me close and in the morning he used to be gone. To be honest I didn't like it and wanted to ask him where he was gone all day but didn't cause it felt like he wouldn't care. Today, it was different. I found him beside me in the morning and automatically smile came on my face. I watched his sleeping figure and couldn't stop myself from caressing his cheeks. His breathing got heavy and suddenly he caught my hand slowly opening his eyes. I was about to speak but he placed his finger before my lips and hushed me. He looked at me and tucked my hair behind my ear. "I want to ask you something," He whispered. I looked at him confused. What does he want to ask me? Is he thinking of taking me out again? I nodded. "Um....Ratna..." Hearing that name got me angry and I abruptly got up but he was still holding my hand. "Leave me," I tried to get out of his hold. "First listen," he didn't