53- Selfish and shy

When we reach the grave from before, I stop and release his hand. It falls to his side. I stare at the grave and avoid his face.

“You were right when you said I'm selfish.” I start.

“I don't know how to trust. Until now, I've never even tried to, not really, I run away, hide and avoid everyone who tries to get close to me. But there is one thing I have always trusted and that is fate. These threads that I see. They never deceive me, they show truth, good and bad. They do nothing to spare my feelings because fate doesn't care about my feelings. There are times I wish I couldn't see them at all because what I see is so heartbreaking. But despite that, I really do trust them. Completely. I trust them so completely that I know I will be tied to you forever, even when we are both dead and gone.” I pause and turn to face Bellamy. His expression is giving nothing away and I have to once again fight my natural inclination to flee.

“I'm selfish because I knew that even if I ran away from my fe