195

I stood there trying to psyche myself up.

This was the reason I was here. This was the reason I’d gotten all dolled up. This was what I had told Sebastian I wanted more than anything else in the world.

And I was terrified.

A thousand terrible ‘what-ifs’ floated through my mind. What if he got angry? What if he cold-shouldered me? What if he was mean? What if he laughed at me?

What if he didn’t even care?

I told myself that was bullshit. Sebastian and Johnny had both told me he had been miserable for the last month; only an idiot would think it had nothing to do with me. He had cared enough to make Sebastian call Scott Shaw and get him to give me a shot.

He just didn’t care enough to call YOU, the evil little voice in my head reminded me.

But then the good angel whispered, So what?

So what if he hadn’t called? Maybe he thought I should have called him. Seeing as I’d never bothered to call to thank him for the job advice and referral, maybe he thought I was the one being cold and aloof.