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CHAPTER 60: AUSTIN
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TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 61: MAGGIE
“Come on!” Kayle begged. “It’s Sunday. Who the fuck does school work on a Sunday?” “I do,” I told her. “It has to be in tomorrow, so I have to do it.” “Didn’t you stay in last night to do this?” She raised her eyebrow. “Yes.” “So why didn’t you do it?” Because I was busy with my sort-of-almost-boyfriend. “Because I fell asleep early.” “You never go to sleep early.” “Oh my God! What is this? Interrogate Maggie time?” I slammed my pen down and looked up at her. “Do you want me to tell you my turn-on spot while you’re here? Shit, Kayle!” She snorted. “No offense, babe, but I’m not really into you like that, so we’ll pass on the turn-on spot. But why were you asleep early?” “Gee, I don’t know, Kayle. Why do people usually go to sleep? Could it be because they’re tired?” I sighed. “Shit the bed, someone is expecting Mother Nature!” “Not for two to three weeks.” “Then you must be pregnant … Oh wait–” “Kayle? Go fuck yourself.” “I’m going,” she muttered, pulling the door open. “
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 62: AUSTIN
“Remember where you’ve been to see how far you’ve come,” I mumbled to myself, pushing the psych paper aside. “Yeah alright, Gramps. Fuckin’ helps if you’ve actually got somewhere, though, doesn’t it?”I pushed the heels of my hands into my eyes, rubbing harshly. Hear something enough and it’ll be burned into your body, scarring your skin and tattooing itself in your mind. It didn’t matter how long ago the words were said. It just mattered that they were.Thirteen years and I didn’t feel like I had got anywhere. So what if I was not the scared little boy in the corner anymore? He was still inside. He was still afraid, still shivering. He was still bruised, he was still broken, and he was still beaten.Just because I appeared not to give a fuck didn’t mean I actually didn’t. Not everyone was what they seemed, and I was one of those people. I didn’t even know who I was, because I spent so much time fighting against who I didn’t want to be. I had no time to be who I wanted to be. I had no
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 63: MAGGIE
I must be the only person in my class that will read a classic novel for anything other than requirement. I couldn’t think of anyone I knew that would pick up Jane Eyre, Little Women, or Tess of the D’Urbervilles for pleasure.In fact, they were not even my first choice. Little Women came in a close second, but Pride and Prejudice will always win out. There was something beautiful about a couple from two different backgrounds traveling along the bumpy road of love until it was undeniable, and there was something even more beautiful about watching that journey happen. Flicking through the pages anxiously waiting for that sweet first kiss, the passion filled argument, the final declaration. There was something that pulled me in and took me away from the real world.There really was no place like the one you find between the pages of a book.The only place that came close was in the arms of the person you love.Perhaps that was why with Jack in class all day, I was sitting on the corner
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 64: AUSTIN
Seeing her with another guy – no matter how innocent or friendly it was – put a part of my brain into overdrive that was only ever roared to life for me. The need to grab her arm, drag her out of that diner, and pin her against the wall while I kissed her senseless almost took over. The need to protect her from every other ass in this town, hell, in the state, was almost our undoing.It was something no one would understand. For the first time in my life I had started to let someone in, let them be there, all while taking what they had to offer. And that was the problem. I was taking from Maggie but I was not giving back to her – I was not giving her what she deserved, yet, somehow, she knew exactly what I seem to need. All the time.For the first time in my life I had let myself feel something other than the things that fuck up my mind. I had let her in. The one girl I knew could undo me with a simple smile or one glance into those little blue eyes – and she did. Every single time, s
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 65: MAGGIE
“Did she really never tell you about your dad?” I asked, drawing circles on Austin’s arm with my fingertip.“No. Gramps told me a few years ago she went away for a friend’s birthday and a few weeks later found out she was pregnant. She swore there was only him but she couldn’t remember his name,” he replies. “It didn’t matter, anyway. I had my Gramps, and that was what mattered. He was there when no one else was.”“He sounds like an amazing man,” I said, tilting my head back and staring into his gray eyes. “It makes it easy to understand where you get it from.”He made a noise of disbelief. “I’m not amazing, baby, far from it.”“The beauty of being an outsider is that I can see what you can’t,” I argued. “You might not see it yet, you might never see it, but you are.” I raise my hand to his face, stroke my thumb down his cheek and across the faint stubble on his jaw. And I’m not lying – I can see everything he can’t. I can see the beauty of him hiding behind the ugly memories of his p
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 66: MAGGIE (cont)
“Risky,” I muttered.“And being seen in a car with you isn’t?” he shot back, amused.I produced my glasses from under my jacket and slipped them on. “See? I’m in disguise.”“You still look like you.” He grinned as he pulled out. “We’re not passing campus, anyway. It’s still early, so I doubt many people will be about.”“You say that. If I was Pinocchio, my nose would be about ten foot long I’ve told so many lies this morning.”“Who to?” He glanced at me.“Carl and Mark, then Kayle,” I grumbled. “Carl and Mark think I’d slipped in to grab a book from Jack’s room, and Kayle thinks I was with a guy all night.”“Which is right. But she doesn’t know?”“No. She doesn’t know. I slammed my door in her face.”“She won’t let that go.”“I know. But I have time to make a decent excuse as to why I can’t tell her who I was with.”He sighed. “You know she’s gonna tell Leila and Sandra, and they’ll be on your case, right?”I tucked my hair behind my ear and chewed on my thumbnail. “I know,” I mumbled
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 67: AUSTIN
Why did he have to bring it up? Of all the things he could talk about, he brings her up. Every fucking time! I didn’t want to talk about her. Not to him. He didn’t understand. He didn’t know the same person I did. His ideals were different to mine.His memories were a thousand miles apart from mine.I kicked at the sand, pulling my jacket tighter around my body, and Megan spoke for the first time since we left Gramps’ house and drove north where no one would find us. “You okay?”I shook my head. “No. Every time. Every fucking time he brings her up. I thought he wouldn’t in front of you, but he did.”“He has his own pain,” she said softly. “It doesn’t excuse it, but he does. He feels guilty for what happened to you – that he couldn’t stop it.”My mind reeled, and I looked down at her. “He told you that?”She nodded, letting her hand drop from my back, and stood in front of me. I stopped.“You’ve never let him tell you.” She reached up and cupped my face. “He hurts too, Austin. You both
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 68: MAGGIE
And we were back to it.Another day of lies. Another day of pretending. Another day of wishful glances, discreet smiles, and banter with an underlying meaning only we understood.Another day I had to remind myself that we choose this. We choose to be secret and not tell Jack. I was just not sure how much longer we could keep it this way. Someone will find out eventually no matter how careful we are.Hell, Kayle and Leila were already halfway there.“Just tell me who,” Leila begged me. “I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”“It’s not a big deal. It was just one night. You guys are always telling me I need to get some, and I have, so leave it at that.”“You’re kiddin’ me!” Kayle exclaimed. “I want the details!”“Maybe I don’t want to give you the details.”“Maybe I can keep buggin’ the shit out of you until you give them to me.”“Maybe I still won’t give you the details.” I shook my head. “Seriously, you guys, I’m not giving you what you want.”Sandra grinned. “Stubborn.”“No, just private.” I
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