šššš ššš:
āWe should takethis somewhere moreā¦private.ā The blonde trailed her fingers down my arm, her hazel eyes bright with invitation as she swiped her tongue over her bottom lip. āOr not. Whatever youāre into.āMy lips curvedānot enough to classify as a smile, but enough to broadcast my thoughts. You canāt handle what Iām into.Despite her short, tight dress and suggestive words, she looked like the type who expected sweet nothings and lovemaking in bed.I didnāt do sweet nothings or lovemaking.I fucked a certain way, and only a specific type of woman was into that shit. Not hardcore BDSM, but not soft. No kissing, no face-to-face contact. Women agreed, then tried to change it up halfway through, after which Iād stop and show them the door. I have no tolerance for people who canāt keep to a simple agreement.That was why I stuck to a roster of familiar rotating names when I needed a release; both sides knew what to expect.The blonde was not making it onto that roster.āNot tonight.ā I swirled the ice in my glass. āItās my friendās farewell party.āShe followed my gaze toward Josh, who was basking in female attention of his own. He sprawled on the couch, one of the few remaining pieces of furniture after heād packed the house up in anticipation of his year abroad, and grinned while three women fawned over him. Heād always been the charming one. While I put people on edge, he put them at ease, and his approach toward the fairer sex was the opposite of mine. The more, the merrier, according to Josh. Heād probably fucked half the D.C. metro areaās female population by now.āHe can join too.ā The blonde edged closer until her tits grazed my arm. āI donāt mind.āāSame.ā Her friend, a petite brunette who had been quiet up till now but whoād eyed me like I was a juicy steak since I walked in the door, piped up. āLyss and I do everything together.āThe insinuation couldnāt have been clearer had she tattooed it across her exposed cleavage.Most guys wouldāve jumped at the opportunity, but I was already bored with the conversation. Nothing turned me off more than desperation, which reeked stronger than their perfume.I didnāt bother answering. Instead, I scanned the room for something more interesting to hold my attention. If it were a party for anyone else but Josh, I wouldāve skipped it. Between my job as COO of The Archer Group and myā¦side project, I had enough on my plate without attending pointless social gatherings. But Josh was my best friendāone of the few people whose company I could stand for more than an hour at a timeāand he was leaving Monday for his gap year as a medical volunteer in Central America. So here I was, pretending like I actually wanted to be here.A silvery laugh pealed through the air, drawing my eyes toward the source.Ava.Of course.Joshās little sister was so sweet and sunshiney all the time, I half-expected flowers to sprout on the ground wherever she walked and a coterie of singing woodland animals to trail behind her while she traipsed through meadows or whatever girls like her did.She stood in the corner with her friends, her face bright with animation as she laughed at something one of them said. I wondered if it was a real laugh or a fake laugh. Most laughsāhell, most peopleāwere fake. They woke up every morning and put on a mask according to what they wanted that day and who they wanted the world to see. They smiled at people they hated, laughed at jokes that werenāt funny, and kissed the asses of those they secretly hoped to dethrone.I wasnāt judging. Like everyone else, I had my masks, and they ran layers deep. But unlike everyone else, I had as much interest in ass-kissing and small talk as I did in injecting bleach into my veins.Knowing Ava, her laugh was real.Poor girl. The world would eat her alive once she left the Thayer bubble.Not my problem.āYo.ā Josh appeared beside me, his hair tousled and his mouth stretched into a wide grin. His hangers-on were nowhereāwait, nope. There they were, dancing to BeyoncĆ© like they were auditioning for a gig at The Strip Angel while a circle of guys watched them with their tongues lolling out. Men. My gender could use a little more standards and a little less thinking with their small head. āThanks for showing up, man. Sorry I havenāt said hi till now. Iāve beenā¦busy.āāI saw.ā I arched an eyebrow at the lipstick print smeared on the corner of his mouth. āYou have a little something on your face.āHis grin widened. āBadge of honor. Speaking of which, Iām not interrupting, am I?āI glanced at the blonde and brunette, whoād moved on to making out with each other after failing to capture my interest.āNo.ā I shook my head. āA hundred bucks says you wonāt survive the full year in Bumfuck, Nowhere. No women, no parties. Youāll be back before Halloween.āāOh, ye of little faith. Thereāll be women, and the party is wherever I am.ā Josh swiped an unopened beer from a nearby cooler and cracked it open. āI actually wanted to talk to you about that. Me being gone,ā he clarified.āDonāt tell me youāre getting sentimental on me. If you bought us friendship bracelets, Iām out.āāFuck you, dude.ā He laughed. āI wouldnāt buy your ass jewelry if you paid me. No, this is about Ava.āMy glass paused an inch from my lips before I brought it home and the sweet burn of whiskey flowed down my throat. I hate beer. It tastes like piss, but since it was the drink du jour at Joshās parties, I always brought a flask of Macallan whenever I visited.āWhat about her?āJosh and his sister were close, even if they bickered so much I wanted to duct tape their mouths sometimes. That was the nature of siblingsāsomething Iād never quite gotten to experience.The whiskey turned sour in my mouth, and I set my glass down with a grimace.āIām worried about her.ā Josh rubbed a hand over his jaw, his expression growing serious. āI know sheās a big girl and can take care of herselfāunless sheās getting stranded in the middle of fucking nowhere; thanks for picking her up, by the wayābut sheās never been on her own for so long and she can be a little tooā¦trusting.āI had an inkling of where Josh was going with this, and I didnāt like it. At all. āShe wonāt be alone. She has her friends.ā I inclined my head toward said friends. One of them, a curvy redhead in a gold skirt that made her look like a disco ball, chose that moment to hop onto the table and shake her ass to the rap song blasting through the speakers.Josh snorted. āJules? Sheās a liability, not help. Stella is as trusting as Ava, and Bridgetā¦well, she has security, but sheās not around as much.āāYou donāt need to worry. Thayerās safe, and the crime rate here is close to zero.āāYeah, but Iād feel better if I had someone I trusted looking after her, ya know?āFuck. The train was heading straight off a cliff, and I couldnāt do anything to stop it.āI wouldnāt askāI know youāve got a lot of shit going onābut she broke up with her ex a couple of weeks ago, and heās been harassing her. I always knew he was a little shit, but she wouldnāt listen to me. Anyway, if you could keep an eye on herājust to make sure she doesnāt get killed or kidnapped or anything? Iād owe you big.āāYou already owe me for all those times I saved your ass,ā I said wryly.āYou had fun while doing it. Youāre too uptight sometimes.ā Josh grinned. āSo, is that a yes?āI glanced at Ava again. Took her in. She was twenty-two, four years younger than Josh and me, and she managed to appear both younger and older than her years. It was the way she carried herself, like sheād seen it allāthe good, the bad, the downright uglyāand still believed in goodness.It was as stupid as it was admirable.She mustāve felt me staring because she paused her conversation and looked directly at me, her cheeks tinting pink at my unflinching gaze. Sheād changed out of her jeans and T-shirt into a purple dress that swirled around her knees.Too bad. The dress was nice, but my mind flashed back to our car ride, when her damp shirt had clung to her like a second skin and her nipples had strained against the decadent red lace of her bra. Iād meant what Iād said about her not being my type, but Iād enjoyed the view. I could imagine myself lifting that shirt, tugging her bra aside with my teeth, and closing my mouth around those sweet, hardened peaksāI yanked myself out of that startling fantasy fast. What the fuck was wrong with me? That was Joshās sister. Innocent, doe-eyed, and so sweet I could throw up. The total opposite of the sophisticated, jaded women I preferred both in and out of bed. I didnāt have to worry about feelings with the latter; they knew better than to develop any around me. Ava was nothing but feelings, with a hint of sass.A ghost of a smile passed over my mouth when I remembered her parting shot earlier. I hope that stick in your ass punctures a vital organ.Not the worst thing anyoneās said to me, not by a long shot, but more aggressive than Iād expected coming from her. Iād never heard her say a bad word to or about anyone before. I took perverse pleasure in the fact that I could rile her up so much.āAlex,ā Josh prompted.āI donāt know, man.ā I dragged my eyes away from Ava and her purple dress. āIām not much of a babysitter.āāGood thing sheās not a baby,ā he quipped. āLook, I know this is a big ask, but youāre the only person I trust not to, you knowāāāFuck her?āāJesus, dude.ā Josh looked like heād swallowed a lemon. āDonāt use that word in relation to my sister. Itās gross. Butā¦yeah. I mean, we both know sheās not your type, and even if she was, youād never go there.āA sliver of guilt flashed through me when I remembered my errant fantasy a few moments ago. It was time for me to call up someone from my roster if I was fantasizing about Ava Chen, of all people.āBut itās more than that,ā Josh continued. āYouāre the only person I trust, period, outside of my family. And you know how worried I am about Ava, especially considering this whole thing with her ex.ā His face darkened. āI swear, if I ever see that fuckerā¦āI sighed. āIāll take care of her. Donāt worry.āI was going to regret this. I knew it, yet here I was, signing my life away, at least for the next year. I didnāt make a lot of promises, but when I did, I kept them. Committed myself to them. Which meant if I promised Josh Iād look after Ava, Iād fucking look after her, and Iām not talking about a text check-in every two weeks.She was under my protection now.A familiar, creeping sense of doom slithered around my neck and squeezed, tighter and tighter, until oxygen ran scarce and tiny lights danced before my eyes.Blood. Everywhere.On my hands. On my clothes. Splattered over the cream rug sheād loved so muchāthe one sheād brought back from Europe on her last trip abroad.An inane urge to scrub the rug and tear those bloody particles out of the soft wool fibers, one by one, gripped me, but I couldnāt move.All I could do was stand and stare at the grotesque scene in my living roomāa room which, not half an hour earlier, had burst with warmth and laughter and love. Now it was cold and lifeless, like the three bodies at my feet.I blinked, and they disappearedāthe lights, the memories, the noose around my neck.But theyād come back. They always did.āā¦Youāre the best,ā Josh was saying, his grin back now that Iād agreed to take on a role I had no business taking. I wasnāt a protector; I was a destroyer. I broke hearts, crushed business opponents, and didnāt care about the aftermath. If someone was stupid enough to fall for me or cross meātwo things I warned people never, ever to doāthey had it coming. āIāll bring you backāfuck, I donāt know. Coffee. Chocolate. Pounds of whatever is good down there. And I owe you a big, fat favor in the future.āI forced a smile. Before I could respond, my phone rang, and I held up a finger. āBe right back. I have to take this.āāTake your time, man.ā Josh was already distracted by the blonde and brunette whoād been all over me earlier and who found a much more willing audience in my best friend. By the time I stepped into the backyard and answered my call, they had their hands beneath his shirt.ā??????,ā I said, using the Ukrainian term for uncle.āAlex.ā My uncleās voice rasped over the line, scratchy from decades of cigarettes and the wear and tear of life. āI hope Iām not interrupting.āāNo.ā I glanced through the sliding glass door at the revelry inside. Josh had lived in the same rambling, two-story house off Thayerās campus since undergrad. Weād roomed together until I graduated and moved to D.C. proper to be closer to my officeāand to get away from the hordes of shrieking, drunken college students that paraded through campus and the surrounding neighborhoods every night.Everyone had turned out for Joshās farewell party, and by everyone, I mean half the population of Hazelburg, Maryland, where Thayer was located. He was a town favorite, and I imagined people would miss his parties as much as they missed Josh himself.For someone who always claimed to be drowning in schoolwork, he found a lot of time for drinking and sex. Not that it hurt his academic performance. The bastard had a 4.0 GPA.āDid you take care of the problem?ā my uncle asked.I heard a drawer open and close, followed by the faint click of a lighter. Iād urged him to quit smoking countless times, but he always brushed me off. Old habits die hard; old, bad habits even more so, and Ivan Volkov had reached the age where he couldnāt be bothered.āNot yet.ā The moon hung low in the sky, casting ribbons of light that snaked through the otherwise-inky darkness of the backyard. Light and shadow. Two halves of the same coin. āI will. Weāre close.āTo justice. Vengeance. Salvation.For sixteen years, the pursuit of those three things had consumed me. They were my every waking thought, my every dream and nightmare. My reason for living. Even in situations when Iād been distracted by something elseāthe chess-play of corporate politics, the fleeting pleasure of burying myself into the tight, warm heat of a willing bodyātheyād lurked in my consciousness, driving me to greater heights of ambition and ruthlessness.Sixteen years might seem like a long time, but I specialize in the long game. It doesnāt matter how many years I have to wait as long as the end is worth it.And the end of the man who had destroyed my family? It would be glorious.āGood.ā My uncle coughed, and my lips pinched.One of these days, Iād convince him to quit smoking. Life had driven any sentimentality out of me years ago, but Ivan was my only living relative. He took me in, raised me as his own, and stuck by me through every thorny twist of my path toward revenge, so I owed him that much, at least.āYour family will be at peace soon,ā he said.Perhaps. Whether the same could be said of meā¦well, that was a question for another day.āThereās a board meeting next week,ā I said, switching topics. āIāll be in town for the day.ā My uncle was the official CEO of Archer Group, the real estate development company heād founded a decade ago with my guidance. Iād had a knack for business even as a teenager.Archer Group headquarters called Philadelphia home, but it had offices across the country. Since I was based in D.C., that was the companyās real power center, though board meetings still took place at HQ.I couldāve taken over as CEO years ago, per my uncleās and my agreement when we started the company, but the COO position offered me more flexibility until I finished what I had to do. Besides, everyone knew I was the power behind the throne, anyway. Ivan was a decent CEO, but it was my strategies that had catapulted it into the Fortune 500 after a mere decade.My uncle and I talked business for a while longer before I hung up and rejoined the party. The gears in my head cranked into motion as I took stock of the eveningās developmentsāmy promise to Josh, my uncleās nudge about the minor hiccup in my revenge plan. Somehow, I had to reconcile the two over the next year.I mentally rearranged the pieces of my life into different patterns, playing each scenario out to the end, weighing the pros and cons, and examining them for potential cracks until I reached a decision.āEverything good?ā Josh called out from the couch, where the blonde kissed his neck while the brunetteās hands became intimately acquainted with the region below his belt.āYes.ā To my irritation, my gaze strayed toward Ava again. She was in the kitchen, fussing over the half-eaten cake from Crumble & Bake. Her tanned skin glowed with a faint sheen of sweat from dancing, and her raven hair billowed around her face in a soft cloud. āAbout your earlier requestā¦I have an idea.āššš ššš:I hopeyou appreciate what a good friend I am.ā Jules yawned as we tromped across our front yard toward Joshās house. āFor waking up at the butt crack of dawn to help your brother clean and pack when I donāt even like the dude.āI laughed and looped my arm through hers. āIāll buy you a caramel mocha from The Morning Roast after. Promise.āāYeah, yeah.ā She paused. āLarge, with extra crunch toppings?āāYou know it.āāFine.ā Jules yawned again. āThat makes it somewhat worth it.āJules and Josh were not fans of each other. Iād always found that strange, considering they were so similar. They were both outgoing, charming, smart as hell, and total heartbreakers.Jules was a human version of Jessica Rabbit, all shiny red hair, creamy skin, and curves that made me look at my body with a sigh. Overall, I was happy with how I looked, but as a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, I did wish for an extra cup size or two without having to re
ššš ššš:āā¦Then said, never ask Ava to do something like this again, or I will murder you and your entire family,ā Jules finished dramatically before taking a sip of her caramel mocha.āShut up.ā Stella leaned forward, her eyes wide. āHe did not say that.āāNo, he didnāt.ā I shot Jules a disapproving look. āStop exaggerating.āāHow would you know? You were in the bathroom,ā she countered. When my frown deepened, she sighed. āFine. He didnāt say those exact wordsāat least, not the last partābut the general idea was the same. He did warn Owen away from you though.ā Jules ripped off a piece of her cranberry scone and popped it in her mouth.āPoor Owen.ā Guilt niggled at me as I traced absentminded patterns on the table. Jules, Stella, Bridget, and I were at The Morning Roast for our weekly Tuesday coffee catch-up, and Jules had been regaling the other girls with a hyperbolized account of what happened at Owenās house on Saturday. āI wish he had
šššš ššš:āDonāt do this.āI poured myself a cup of coffee, leaned against the counter, and took a leisurely sip before responding. āIām not sure why youāre calling me, Andrew. Iām the COO. You should talk to Ivan.āāThatās bullshit,ā Andrew spat. āYou pull the strings behind the scenes, and everyone knows it.āāThen everyone is wrong, which wouldnāt be the first time.ā I checked my Patek Philippe watch. Limited edition, hermetically sealed and waterproof, the stainless-steel timepiece had set me back a cool twenty grand. Iād bought it after I sold my financial modeling software for eight figures, one month after my fourteenth birthday. āAh, itās almost time for my nightly meditation session.ā I didnāt meditate, and we both knew it. āI wish you the best. Iām sure youāll have a flourishing second career as a busker. You took band in high school, didnāt you?āāAlex, please.ā Andrewās voice turned pleading. āI have a family. Kids. My oldest da
ššš ššš:I applied makeup, brushed my hair, and wore my favorite white cotton sundress with yellow daisies at the bottom. It was both pretty and comfortable, and it showed off just enough cleavage to intrigue. Liam had loved it. Whenever I wore it, we ended up at his place and my dress ended up on the floor.Iād considered throwing the outfit away after we broke up because heād loved it, but I thought better of it. I refused to let him ruin the good things for me, whether it was a dress or mint chocolate ice cream, which he used to buy me whenever I had my period cravings.I figured looking good couldnāt hurt if I was angling for an unannounced evening moviethon with Alex.I couldnāt think of any good ideas to make him sad without being a total bitch, so Iād chosen the neutral option of sad movies. They worked on everyone. Yes, even men.I saw Josh cry once at the end of Titanic, though he claimed it was allergies and threatened to toss my
šššš ššš:I silently cursed Josh as I carried Ava upstairs. That asshole always put me in situations I didnāt want to be in.Case in point: sleeping in the same room as his sister.Iām sure he would be even less happy about it than I was, but I hadnāt set up the guest roomāI never had guests, not if I could help itāand it was pouring outside, so I couldnāt bring her home without both of us getting drenched. I couldāve left her on the couch, but she wouldāve been damn uncomfortable.I kicked open the door to my room and set her on the bed. She didnāt stir.My eyes lingered on her form, noticing details I had no business noticing. Her dark hair fanned out beneath her like a blanket of black silk long enough for me to wrap my fist around, and her skirt rode up, baring an inch more thigh than modest. Her skin looked smoother than silk, and I had to clench my hands to refrain from touching her.My mind flashed back to earlier in the night. Her ski
ššš ššš:Something smelled delicious,like spice and heat. I wanted to wrap it around me like a blanket.I snuggled closer to the source, enjoying the strong, solid warmth beneath my cheek. I didnāt want to wake up, but Iād promised Bridget I would volunteer at a local pet shelter with her this morning, before my afternoon shift at the gallery.I allowed myself one more minute of cozinessāhad my bed always been this big and softābefore I opened my eyes and yawned.Weird. My room looked different. No photograph prints papering the walls, no vase of sunflowers by the bed. And did my bed just move by itself?My eyes latched onto the broad expanse of bare skin beneath me, and my stomach dropped. I looked up, upāstraight into a pair of familiar green eyes. Eyes that stared back at me with no hint of the humor from last night.He flicked his gaze down. I followed itā¦and realized, to my abject horror, that I was touching Alex Volkovās dick. Unintention
ššš ššš:OPERATION EMOTION:PHASE DISGUSTāYou already brought me welcome-to-the-neighborhood cookies.ā Alex stared at the basket on the dining table.āThese arenāt welcome cookies.ā I pushed the basket toward him. āThese are an experiment. I tried a new recipe and wanted to see what you think.āHe made an impatient noise. āI donāt have time for this. I have a conference call in half an hour.āāIt wonāt take you half an hour to eat one cookie.āYes, I had finagled an invitation inside Alexās house again, this time for the second phase of OE. Neither Alex nor I mentioned his, er, morning wood situation a few days earlier. I didnāt know about him, but Iād prefer if we forgot about that morning altogether.āFine.ā He peered at the confections with suspicion. āWhat flavor?āAsparagus, raisins, and garlic brittle.Iād picked the most disgusting ingredient mixture I could think of because this was, after all, Phase Disgust. Part of me felt bad becaus
ššš ššš:The experiment is a failure,but at least itās over.ā I sucked down the rest of my cranberry vodka. Iād nursed it for so long all the ice had melted and it tasted like fruity water. āThank God.āāToo bad.ā Bridget looked disappointed. āI was looking forward to seeing Alex lose his cool.āāHe still can. The experiment isnāt over yet.ā Jules wagged her finger in the air.Unease crawled down my neck. āYes, it is. We decided on four phases: sadness, disgust, happiness, and fear.āāThere are five phases.ā Julesās hazel eyes sparkled with mischief. āThe last is jealousy, or did you forget?āāI never agreed to that!āWe were at The Crypt, Thayerās most popular off-campus bar, for one last hurrah before classes started Monday. Students had started trickling back, and the bar was way more packed than earlier this summer.āBut itās the best one,ā Jules argued. āDonātāāāAva.āI stiffened at the sound of my name said in that voice. The voice that used