Longing For an Old Life

Sera

The curtains were open, mid-morning sun blinding me as I blinked against it. Beyond the frost-covered windows, I saw what I believed to be snow. I hauled myself out of bed and rushed to the window, looking out over the dark gray morning landscape. Soft tufts of white fell from the sky, not enough to stick but enough to cause a flurry of excitement to swell in my chest.

Immediately, my mind went to my students. They’d be so excited. Even middle school students loved a good snow. I should have been excitedly talking about the first snowfall of the season with the kids, but reality crushed into me with a weight I hadn’t been prepared for.

I was missing it. They were out there with someone else. Their faces flashed before my eyes, and that ache in my chest I’d been feeling off and on since I’d arrived came back with a vengeance.

Would I spend Christmas here in a few months? Thanksgiving?

I found it hard to swallow as I backed away from the window and hugged myself tight. How I longed