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029: Disobeying Orders

Dexter

I never knew what it was like to be a damned man before.

Now, I’m starting to understand.

Although I feel no love for Ellen, I can’t fathom the thought of cheating on her. I don’t think that’s honorable at all. I’d much rather leave her if I wish to pursue a romantic or any other kind of relationship with someone else.

But there are complications to leaving Ellen. Her father is my boss and I have a lot of respect for him. On top of that, I’ve been with her for far too long to just leave her now. It would be easier for me to cut this feeling I have for Red from the root.

What is this feeling, though? Lust? It’s definitely not love. I don’t even know her. What I can’t deny is the fact that I want her. I fucking want her with every fiber of my being and it all started when I first saw her dancing onstage. I can’t even deny this feeling and say that it was something else.

Ever since, I’ve been haunted by images of us together in a sexual way. I keep seeing her breasts right be
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