Ignoring my broken toes, I hobble deeper into the woods with Edric by my side, my heart nearly banging out of my chest. Why did I agree to shift? Of course, my wolf is elated – I don’t blame her, she rarely gets a chance to be herself, but I’m already regretting my decision. Who knows what she’ll do when I’m forced to the background and she takes control?
When we can’t hear the laughter and talking of the gathered pack anymore, Edric stops and turns to me. “What do you usually do when you shift? Do you take clothes with you, or go back to the place where you shifted before you turn back to human?”
“Huh?”
He chuckles softly. “Most of us will carry clothes with us – so we don’t walk around naked when we shift back to human form. We’ll shift back when we get to…where we’re going, so I think you should bring your clothes with.”
“How?”
I’m starting to realise that not only do I know nothing about being part of a pack or werewolf society, I also know nothing about being a shifter. “I usually just tie a pair of shorts around my leg. Others sometimes carry their clothes in their mouths, but I find it inconvenient.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“What?” he asks confused.
“Do I tell my wolf to remember the clothes before we shift?”
“I don’t under— Maya, do you give your wolf full control when you shift?”
“You don’t?” I ask, very surprised.
“Of course not. Our wolves are our…animal side. If we let them take control, we’ll become more beast than human. That’s not a good thing.”
I shuffle around uncomfortably. I didn’t know. “Well, it’s just once a month, so…”
“On the full moon right? Yes, that’s probably the only reason why you’re not more wolf than human by now.”
I blush, feeling stupid. “How do I stay in control?”
“How do you not?”
I shrug. “I don’t know – I’ve always just moved to the back of my…our mind. Go to sleep, I guess. Last night was the first time I was awake while in wolf form and could see and hear what’s going on.”
Edric stares at me for a long time, his eyes pensive. “Okay no, we’re not doing this today.”
I am relieved, not gonna lie, I don’t want to shift, especially not in front of Edric, but I can also see that he’s disappointed. I open my mouth to agree with him, but something else entirely comes out, “Well, why not? How will I learn to control my wolf if I don’t shift and try?” I’d blame my wolf for that little statement, but I’m one hundred percent sure that it’s my idea. Shit. Stupid mouth.
He smiles, and I feel the darkness around my heart lift just a little bit. “Can you shift back at will?”
“I did last night. Well, after my wolf gave back control.”
“So you do know how to do it?” He still looks so uncertain though.
“Yes.” It’s not completely true, I’ve only controlled the shift a grant total of two times, but I think I can do it – done it once, you can do it twice, and three times right?
“But you are unsure.”
It’s not much of a question. He’s observant – but I suppose as an Alpha he has to be. This time I answer honestly, "Yes."
“Then I guess this is your first lesson,” he smiles.
“Did someone teach you?”
“Yes, of course. We need a little help in the beginning, though it’s mostly instinctual. My father helped me…and my mother taught Jolie. You had no one…I can ask a she-wolf to help you if that would make you more comfortable.”
“No,” I don’t want anyone else to know what a completely hopeless wolf I really am. It’s bad enough that Edric knows.
“Your instinct was to hide from your wolf, right?”
“I hate her,” I whisper.
“She’s a part of you – hating her means hating yourself. Do you hate yourself, Maya?”
I don’t answer him. He’s right, but I don’t want to tell him that. He already makes me feel so vulnerable and weak, giving him all my secrets would be giving him more power over me than he already has. ~ He makes us strong, not weak, ~ my wolf says. ~ I’ll give you control over the shift. ~
“If the wolf is a part of us,” I ask, “why can we communicate with them? Or are we just talking to ourselves?”
“No…they are separate, but part of the whole. Honestly, Maya, I never really gave it any thought. The right person to ask would be a priest.”
“A-a-a priest?”
“Yes, a priest of the Goddess.”
“You have your own priests?”
“Of course we do.”
“Where can I find this werewolf priest?”
“Where you usually find a priest. At the temple. Are we gonna try this or not?” he asks, a little impatient.
“I wanna talk to the priest,” I say, ignoring his question.
Maybe this priest will have some answers for me. I have heard about The Moon Goddess -- all the werewolves that cross my path talk about her and believe in her. I don’t, but I’ve come to learn it’s dangerous to question her existence in front of other wolves … it really pisses them off for some reason.
Edric smiles indulgently. “I’ll take you to see him tomorrow.”
“Okay. So what do I do? With this shift thing.”
“When you are in human form, you can control your wolf right?”
“Yes.”
“So that’s what you must do when you shift. Don’t let her force you to the background. Stay in the forefront: go where you want to go, see what you want to see, smell what you want to smell.”
“Won’t my wolf hate it?”
“You are the same being, Maya.”
“But a dual consciousness.”
He looks at me, very surprised by what I said. “Yes, exactly. The human consciousness is the rational part, and the wolf consciousness the animal – the instinctual part.”
“My wolf isn’t always animalistic. Sometimes, she really knows what she’s talking about.” I blush, and look down. It’s the first time I say anything positive about my wolf, and for some reason it embarrasses me.
“I did not say that she’s unintelligent, just that wolves tend to give in to their baser instincts. Before you shift, decide that you are going to stay in control. Your wolf will try to push her way to the forefront – don’t let her. You are in charge; you always have to be in charge.”
“Are you? Always in charge?”
It is his turn to blush, and despite the man’s massive size, or maybe because of it, it is altogether adorable. “I’ve lost control once or twice. It does happen to the best of us.”
He pulls a rope with clips on the end from his pocket. “A bungee cord,” he explains, “it’s more flexible.” Without a hint of shame, he shrugs out of his shorts, standing there in just his boxer briefs and t-shirt. Crouching on one knee, he folds his shorts and secures them with the rope, clipping it in place. “So when I shift from wolf back to human, I’ll have my clothes ready.”
He releases the clip and hands the rope to me. “What will you use?”
“I have a mouth,” he says, with a grin, his eyes sparkling.
“So do I.”
“But less control over your wolf.”
“Okay, okay,” I give in. We’ll argue about this little piece of rope all day if I don’t.
He turns his back on me. “Give me a nudge or a growl or something when you’re done.”
I guess that’s my cue. I’ve gotta shift. I look around me. I think we’re alone. My senses aren’t as acute as other wolves’, but I’m sure Edric would not let me get undressed if he thinks someone’s watching.
I pull the dress over my head, feeling vulnerable and uneasy. It does feel like someone’s watching me, but I’m sure it’s just my imagination. I fold the dress as neatly and small as I can, then tie it to my leg the same way Edric did, except that I have to wrap the cord twice around my leg, instead of once. Well, of course, it wasn’t made for me.
I stand up and look at Edric. He had taken off his t-shirt and is walking backwards towards me, until he’s uncomfortably close. “Maya,” he whispers. “I suggest you shift. Right now.”
“Why?”
“Someone’s watching us.”
With that, he pulls down his boxers and shifts into the most beautiful and magnificent wolf I’ve ever seen, but I barely have time to admire his beauty. Next to me, I hear a growl and something crashing through the undergrowth. Without thinking about it, and driven by fear, I shift.
Edric's POV: I smell the rogue minutes after turning my back on Maya. I don’t know how to communicate to her that the asshole is watching us. This is not a rogue looking for refuge, as so many of our other ex-rogues tended to do; this one is dangerous. He’s the very kind of wolf she keeps running into – one that’s more beast than man. Very casually, as if I don’t know he’s there, I pull my t-shirt over my head and start moving backwards to Maya. I don’t want to scare her, but we haven’t marked each other yet, so we don’t share a connection. I can’t mind-link her. The moment I let her know what’s going on, I shift and turn, relieved to see that she followed my advice. Her magnificent wolf shimmers in the sunlight, and this really sends the rogue over the edge of what little reason he has left. He comes crashing through the forest like a deranged animal, which I guess he kind of is, forgetting about me and going straight for Maya. He’ll
I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe I attacked the rogue. But when he was on top of Edric, trying to get at his throat, I lost all control. For just a moment, my wolf took over and she didn’t think twice. I regained control just in time, just before she could rip into that poor man’s throat. ~ Poor man? ~ my wolf asks angrily. ~ He tried to kill our mate. Rape us. ~ * He can’t help it. He’s crazy…feral. * Then Edric tells me to leave, and she really doesn’t like that suggestion one bit. It takes all my willpower to drag her away. I don’t want to leave him either. He shouldn’t have to deal with the feral wolf – he came for me after all, so I should the one that takes care of him. I want to listen to my wolf, want to give in to her demands – but I can tell by the look on Edric’s face that he really needs me to go. There aren’t many options that I can see. They can’t let him go, and they can’t keep him here. All that’s left is killing him, and I know wha
Edric's POV: Despite feeling like absolute dog shit about killing the rogue, I can’t help but laugh with joy when Maya throws herself into my arms. I didn’t expect it, but it doesn’t matter – having her in my arms eases some of the pain I feel about what I had to do. I hug her closely, feeling her bony little body shift and flow under mine. I’m slightly concerned about how thin she is, but I’ll make sure she eats from now on, fatten her up a bit. She slips out of my arms, but doesn’t step away. She looks up at me, her eyes soft, sympathetic, and oh Goddess, filled with so much understanding – like she knows exactly how I feel. She cups my cheek, sending sparks of electricity through my body. Does that ever go away? I’ll have to ask Luca. “Thank you,” she says. “For what?” I ask, genuinely confused. “For putting yourself between me and that guy…you know what he would have done if you weren’t--” “I know,” I interrupt quickly. I
I sit at the table next to Jolie, who is giving off some serious I hate you vibes, watching as the male wolves build what promises to be a truly spectacular bonfire. All I want to do is go back inside, away from all these people. I just want to be alone. It’s a lot for me, the constant movement, the never-ending laughing and talking, and strangers coming up to me to congratulate me on finding my mate. They didn’t even know me twelve hours ago, why do they care? Edric disappeared as soon as we were back, and I think it’s because I hurt his feelings. I reacted on instinct when he rolled on top of me – I knew, my wolf knew, that he wasn’t going to do anything to me, but I acted before I could think. However, I don’t think that’s what bugs him the most. It was the fact that I wouldn’t let him near me when we ran back. He tried to keep pace with me, wanted to run side by side, but every time he slowed down so I could catch up, I’d stop and wait for him to take the lead ag
A knock on the door wakes me. Edric’s gone again, leaving only his delicious scent behind. “Come in, I guess.” A young girl, maybe eighteen, walks into the room carry two massive paper shopping bags. “Good morning, Luna.” She smiles nervously. “Alpha Edric asked me to bring this up to you.” “Okay. Thank you,” I say trying to focus. “What time is it?” “Almost noon, Luna.” “Really? Shit. Why did no one wake me?” “Alpha Edric said you need your rest. He also said I have to make sure you eat.” The girl blushes a deep red as if she just told me some deep, dark, scandalous secret. “Alpha Edric can go fuck himself,” I grumble as I swing my legs off the bed. The young wolf looks shocked by my remark, but I guess she would be – she grew up in a pack. “Where is Alpha Edric now?” “In his office, Luna.” “Thank you…what’s your name?” “Jessica.” “Jessica. Thank you.” She beams at me, looking so pleased, and I
Edric's POV: What was I thinking? Telling her I’m going to kiss her? After the fight with Jolie, and my wolf trying his best to push his way to the front, I have very little control left. But I said it, I meant it, and I want to do it. I want to know everything about her, about her body. What she tastes like, what she feels like, what she smells like when passion takes her. What she sounds like when she comes. But… I can’t go too far. Can’t lose control. Don’t get me wrong, I want to. I want to feel her body move under mine, want to feel her soft, slippery skin against my fingers, her soft breasts pushing against my chest, want to know what it feels like being inside her, becoming one…but we have to wait. We have to. She needs to know that I’m her safe haven. The place she can come to when she needs peace. She doesn’t say no when I lean over her, our lips only a fraction apart, sharing the same air, her breath tickling my skin. My hea
Edric's POV: The little bell above the diner jingles as I pull open the door for Maya. She gives me an apprehensive look, and then steps inside. She’s afraid – it radiates from her whole body. Who can blame her? After what she told me about how people treated her. But they won’t do it now. Not while I’m with her. Not now that she smells like the Luna she is. I take her hand, leading her to a booth in the corner. She’ll feel more comfortable without all the eyes on her. Almost everyone in the diner are werewolves, and everyone are curious about their new Luna. The young server who comes over to us is a werewolf too, and she looks very nervous when she hands us the menus. “I know it doesn’t look like much,” I tell Maya, ignoring the menu. “But this place has the best ice cream sundaes in the whole state.” “I believe you.” “Are you hungry yet?” I ask. She was quiet on the ride over here, staring out of the window. I d
I thought he’d be more curious about the man I killed. It did shock him, I could see it, but he said nothing. And for some reason, it bothered me that it didn’t bother him. It was almost like he just accepted it and moved on. Or worse still – justified it, like I’ve been justifying it for three years now. I don’t even know why I told him. That thing I did had been lying heavy on my mind for a while now, but I always thought I’d take my guilt-ridden conscience to the grave. I guess not. It was weird, walking through town, being greeted by all the wolves like we’re old friends. When I stumbled into this town, I had no idea there were so many wolves living here – I should have, because it’s not the first werewolf town I’ve come across, but I’ve never seen one with quite so many of them in one place. He did say we have a large pack. The humans who live here must be so confused. I find the thought of humans living blissfully unaware next to werewolves very amusing