42. A Better Partner

Aella

The hot water cascades over my skin, a vain attempt to wash away the conflicting emotions that have taken hold of me since yesterday. The water from the showerhead feels almost accusatory as it pelts against my skin. Each droplet a microscopic indictment, saying, “You knew better.”

I can almost hear them hiss as they make contact, swirling down the drain with all the resolve I thought I had.

I feel the warmth envelop me, but it does nothing to dispel the cold sensation gnawing at my insides. My thoughts drift back to the SUV, to Roman, to the magnetic force between us that had been too much to resist. My mind keeps replaying those moments, dissecting them, searching for a way to rationalize my actions. But I can’t.

You see, there are two versions of me. There’s Aella, the strong, independent woman who took a stand against an arranged marriage. Who ran from her pack to escape the heavy mantle of obligation and expectation. Then there’s this Aella—this conflicted mess standing i