I don’t know what else to say. Maybe I feel like I can trust him because he knows what it’s like for me.
“Azaire told me you couldn’t mindlink because you weren’t a part of their pack,” I say, not really sure where I wanted to go with that. I bite my lip and stop, as I look at a painting on one of the walls. It’s got a lot of yellow, and a few other colors faded in the corners, but the star of the show is a black heart, dead in the center of the canvas. I love it.
“I’m not,” Alexander sighs, and scrunches his nose up again. “I don’t know where my pack is. Aiden has been trying to help me find it since we met, but there’s no luck. It’s like they’ve disappeared from the face of the earth.”
“I’m sorry,” I mutter, and look into his black-as-night eyes. I smile a little, and press my head into his shoulder, for a hug. “My pack is gone, too. Juan knew of them when he saw my birthmark, but he says they’re gone.”
“Sorry,” he says, and hugs me closer. “When did you get separated from them?”
“When I was around a year old, I think? Maybe one and a half. I was adopted at two,” I say, and walk out of his embrace to touch an incense burner that looks like a Buddha with blue clothing, red cheeks and a black ponytail. I smile a little. I just love their home.
“I was three, I think,” Alexander tells me, stepping closer, and smiles at me.
“That’s awful. I wish I could do something,” I say, and I realize I actually mean it, too.
I haven’t cared for another person like this in a long while, and I just met this man today. Yet, there’s something there. He lost his pack, too, and maybe, just maybe, we could be from the same pack. I’m not sure why I think that, but I do trust him for some reason. I shouldn’t ask him anymore about it, though. He looks shaken up by just thinking about it, and he smiles softly my way.
“I fold!” Azaire’s voice chimes through the house suddenly.
I smirk towards Alexander, and he raises his eyebrows at me, before I grab his arm and pull him towards the stairs. On my way down I can totally see how Alexander tripped earlier, and I hold onto him real hard, to make sure neither of us do now. He mutters a slight “thank you” before we’re back in the kitchen, to see Azaire standing up, leaning agains the counter top with his hands holding him up, while Aiden is standing on the other side of the room, growling lightly.
Alexander rolls his eyes and lets go of me, before he walks over to Aiden, and hugs him. They talk in hushed voices to each other, but I don’t want to listen in, so I look over at Azaire instead. He motions with his head for me to come closer, and I reluctantly do.
I’m still confused as to why I feel like I can trust Alexander more than my own soulmate. I should be jumping up and down from joy after finding someone who’s meant to be with me forever, but I’m not. I’m cautious, and I feel like I should definitely do some thinking later tonight.
Azaire reaches out to hold my hand once I’m close enough, and he pulls me close, kissing my forehead and inhaling my scent.
“Azaire,” I whisper, and put my free hand up to his chest to push him away.
“I hate that you don’t trust me,” he whispers back, and sighs, “but I also admire it.”
I arch an eyebrow at him.
“I do. It shows that you think before you do something, and I rarely do that,” he says and puts his other hand up to caress my cheek. His emerald eyes are searching my face, before he sighs. “I just wish you didn’t think too much about us. Look at them.”
He nods towards the other side of the room, where Alexander has his arms around Aiden, comforting him. Aiden looks like he’s smiling now, and I’m not sure what reaction Azaire is expecting me to have. Of course it looks amazing, having someone to count on you whenever you need it, knowing they’ll love you unconditionally, because your souls are bonded together for eternity. I look back at Azaire, and scrunch my nose up, unable to hide my unpleasant habit as I stare at him.
“It looks like they love each other,” I say.
“Yeah, they do. I always thought I’d be like that with my mate, too, whenever I found her, but here you are,” he says, sighing a little.
I swallow, and take a step back. I don’t really feel like talking about this anymore, so I take another step towards the table where we were playing cards, and smile at him.
“Are you sure you’re folding?” I ask.
“I am. You have to have something good. Three Aces?” he asks back, taking another step closer to me.
I appreciate the respect he shows me by not talking about it any further, but I know he’ll want to talk about it sooner or later. I guess we should, too. If there’s a way for me to leave without hurting him, I might just take that opportunity. I’ll leave, and then — no. I can’t leave. Not if Alexander is from the same pack as me, not if he has been looking for his pack for years without any sign of them. I feel a connection to him, an obligation to stay.
I shake my head a little, and send Azaire a smug smile, as I flip my cards over to reveal I had nothing. A high card, the same Ace everyone else had in the community cards, and I watch as his face turns into one of surprise, and then horror, before he lunges at me. He pushes me up against a wall in just a split second, and pins me between the hard wood and himself. His intense stare is making me want to cower, but I don’t. I just stare back at him.
“You had nothing?” he asks darkly.
“Nothing at all,” I tell him, smiling over my victory.
His angered expression turns into an amused one, and he looks down at my lips, as he licks his own. My heart starts pounding, and I clear my throat before slipping out from his hold, and away from him. Aiden and Alexander are standing together a little away, watching us, and they’re both smiling widely at us. I pull some of my red hair behind my ear, as I take another few steps away from Azaire.
He was totally going to kiss me, and I don’t want that. Not yet, at least..
I’m pacing back and forth inside of the guest room, in Azaire’s family home. I don’t know what to do. Should I ask Alexander what his birthmark looks like? Should I keep my mouth shut about that until I know more? Uno probably knows something, right?“Holy shit, Yohanna, can you sit down? I’m trying to sleep,” Azaire’s voice cuts through my thoughts as he speaks from his own room. I sigh, and sit down on the edge of my bed.“Sorry,” I whisper, knowing he can hear me.My ears still perk up whenever my wolf-instincts know he’s near, but it’s not anywhere near as intense as the first day. We’re just now sitting on opposite ends of our shared wall, while I’m trying to figure out what to do. I’ve kept my distance from him ever since I saw it in his eyes that he wanted to kiss me yesterday. His gaze haunted me in my dreams, and I already dreamt
“How do I mindlink my pack?” I ask him, and look down towards the flowers to distract myself from him.“Why don’t we do the basics first, huh?” he says, putting his arms around my waist now. “You used your vision, right? And your hearing is getting better, so why don’t we focus on smelling today, and if you can do that, maybe we’ll see if you can use them all together.”I take a step away from him, pushing his arms away from my body, and sigh.“I just want to know where my real family is, and my pack,” I say, “I never knew this was how any of this worked, but now that I know, I just want to know if they’re out there, and if I can mindlink them, I can find them.”“Yohanna,” Azaire sighs, and closes his eyes for a second, as if he’s trying to figure out the exact words to use. “Mindlinking is pre
I have been with the Kaios pack for a little over a week, now. I’ve become a little closer with everyone, but I’m still not sure who I can trust. Alexander had quickly become my best friend. It wasn’t exactly hard for him to earn that title, but still, it feels good to have someone close to me that I can talk to. I’ve actually talked to him about how well my training with Azaire seems to be going, and I’ve tried to get him to tell me what it means to be “fully mated”, but he wants Azaire to be the one to tell me. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with sex, though, so I’ve tried to keep my distance from him outside of our training. I’ve gotten better at everything, actually. I can even tune Azaire out, if I want to, now, and I can listen for the other people in his house pretty easily. Not that I’m eavesdropping or anything.Azaire said a few days ago that we can start to work on my shifting s
She eyes me suspiciously, but lets it go. For now, I suspect. She is ready to pop at any second, I think. She and Marco has been spending a lot of time in their room, planning for the baby, probably. I haven’t seen much of them the whole week I’ve been here, and I haven’t really seen or talked to Calithea, either, or Alessandro. Ha, I still think it’s funny that their names are Alessandro and Calithea. I know Alessandro prefers to be called Alessandro, but Calithea calls him Alessandro, and that’s so cute..The people around the table starts to talk to each other again, and I smile, still, before picking up the slice of bread on my plate. I take a bite out of it, and hum a little as I chew. It’s really good. Soraya got up early to bake bread this morning, and it’s still warm as I bite into it. I have brown cheese on top, and it’s really fucking delicious. I didn’t know how much I had missed brown cheese until
Azaire is sitting right in front of me. My head is leaned on his shoulder as I let my tears silently run down my face, making his t-shirt all wet. I don’t even take any time to appreciate his bare biceps, I just let him hold my hands tightly, and it feels oddly comforting to be near him. Not enough to let him have his arms around me, but enough to make me feel a little better. He hasn’t said anything either, he just knelt in front of me and grabbed my hands. He probably knows I listened to what he was saying in my defense to his brother, and I’m kind of glad he does, that way I don’t have to tell him what I heard.A few more moments go by as I just bask in his presence, and the smell of exhaust and the woods encapsulating our own little bubble out here in the backyard. Then a question suddenly comes to mind, and I lift my head up from his shoulder, to look at him. He furrows his brows as I do, and searches my face for some kind of hint as
“I built a muscle car, and Aiden and I kept modifying it whenever I got restless or had some anger built up because I never found you,” he explains, still looking into my eyes.“So… you built a car because you didn’t find me? That’s… interesting,” I say, and look down at his chest. It is rising and falling evenly with his breaths, and it’s somehow making me feel like I’m drawn to him. Like I’m supposed to stay here, this close to him, for the rest of times. But my gut still tells me I shouldn’t trust him, or throw myself at him, no matter how much my body wants me to.“It seemed like the better thing to do. Before we started building the car, I trained all day, and kept breaking my bones everywhere from kicking, hitting and slamming myself against the concrete walls in the basement.”I just nod. I don’t like the idea of him hurtin
After watching Azaire and Aiden hunched over the engine of a very sexy muscle car for more than an hour, Alexander and I went inside. I really liked the car, and I can’t wait to hear what it sounds like, revving the engine and pressing the pedal to the metal.. Alexander thought I was silly, but he grinned at me, as if he somehow knew I thought of Azaire as more attractive too, because he had a hot car.We’re sitting on their couch, watching music videos on the TV, since I need to be educated in popular culture, and everything new from the last five years. I agree, but it’s a bit much. I sigh suddenly, and turn towards Alexander, who eyes me with one of his black eyebrows arched.He has taken a liking to calling me “Yohan”, probably because Azaire already started calling me “Yohanna”. I don’t get why they need to give me a nickname at all, but I guess Alexander thinks my name is way too long for
“No, I can’t,” he says, calmer now. He runs both his hands through his messy, dark hair, and sucks in both his lips into his mouth, before looking at me again. “I wish I could. I hate seeing you like this, it breaks my heart. I hate my mother for making me train you.”I gape at him, hurt flashing over me like a tsunami with no receding tide to warn me. Why am I so hurt by this?“Would you rather have Alessandro train me?”“Fuck no,” he growls. “He’d destroy you. He already hates you. Fuck. I’d hate my mother if she made anyone else do this, too.”He sits down on a log, and puts his head in his hands, elbows crooked up on his knees. He looks pissed off, yet so vulnerable.“Fine. Let’s get it over with. You’re not too far away from shifting completely, but when you’ve done that, we