"9"

It's been three days since Ahbaya came to my room. I try my best not to think about her. Because every time I do, a weird feeling always seems to take over me. A feeling so overwhelming, and suddenly, I become this incapable human being who no longer functions for a day.

What makes it worse — I have nothing to do. Only a few books keep me company. For I asked her this one thing, to expand my knowledge of the world. But this is not enough.

The things, rather — the emotions that I feel? Concern? Impatience? Guilt? Anger? Whatever it is, I don't understand why. Nevertheless I don't want to understand either.

Yet a part of me can’t help but wonder why. I thought I would think of her less because of the said schedule. But it had the opposite effect. My head ends up wondering about her.

What she is eating. What she’s doing. Who is she with? What time she’s sleeping. And… who is the man she’s laying with.

I know, I’m ridiculous. That’s why I’m trying so hard to distract myself, so that I