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67TH HEARTBEAT
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The Badboy's Heartbeat 68TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLIt’s been almost a month since I was calling Jordi my boyfriend and so far, the universe has been treating me the best. I’ve been filled with nothing but love when it comes to him and I don’t know if I deserve all of the love that I’ve been getting from him but it has been the happiest time of my life. I don’t know if I deserve the way Jordi was tickling my heart but one thing’s for sure, I’m going to be the best guy that’s going to love him inside and out.For all the giddy feelings and the burning emotions, such level of happiness comes with a price that Jordi and I have to settle in. There are a lot of difficult things being two men in love with each other. Clearly, it’s not that easy for us to be out and proud of our relationship unlike every straight couple out there who’s very much unashamed of showing their love in public. For the most part, sending pick-up lines, stealing glances and holding hands under the table was mostly our thing.In a sensible discussion,
The Badboy's Heartbeat 69TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSI am such horrible a person. My grandmother’s probably cursing me out in heaven right now and here I am just barely having all of these intrusive thoughts without actually doing something about it. It’s nearly a month since that Halloween party occurred and I haven’t even decided to finally be the honest person that I claim to be. Maybe Nikki was right when she called me a liar that time we had a fight.The truth is, I haven’t really been feeling okay lately mostly because of what happened between me and Zach at Michiko’s Halloween party. I have been trying my best to shake the predicament off of my shoulder thinking that perhaps I’d get over it as time goes by. However, I don’t feel like my guilt won’t go away anytime soon. Sometimes when I see how happy and contented Xavier is with me, I feel like I don’t deserve him at all. For some reasons, I’m clad with dread and maybe it’s all because I don’t want to lose Xavier. I know I never dreamt of actually dating him but now
The Badboy's Heartbeat 70TH CHAPTER
JORDI ADKINS“WHAT THE... OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!” Her voice was piercing at first but then she seemed she went on an entire journey because her facial changed from being astonished to having her heart shattered and now she was just statue figure standing there like Medusa just petrified her.“Michiko!” I exclaimed jumping away from Xavier. I shakily made my way towards the shocked woman. “I-I... What are you doing here?” I inquired but she was just staring at me as if she had a stroke or something.There was a great moment of awkward silence and that kind of gave me a slight timeframe to think of something. However, my head just went blank just as Michiko was almost frozen solid. I don’t really know what to do and I’m shaking on the inside mostly because she’s currently the most popular girl in school. Not only that I wasn’t expecting this woman to show up at our house but she also witnessed me and Xavier making out.How in the fucking world did that happen?I inched closer towards her
The Badboy's Heartbeat 71ST HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLI don’t think I have ever witnessed a beautiful coming out story in my life until this very moment. Watching Jordi and his mom’s little interaction yesterday almost made me want to shed a tear. There’s a lot of beautiful words to describe how things went down. It was beautiful to witness how supportive and loving Mrs. Adkins was to her only son. I almost thought she’s going to rip him apart right after Michiko went on her very own mannerless rampage after catching us making out. What happened just proved that she’s the coolest mom and Jordi’s highly blessed to have a mother like her.Speaking of Michiko and her temper tantrum, as soon as I got home from spending the night at Jordi’s, I had to make the initiative to give her a call. I blocked her last time because she kept on calling me and now, I can’t believe I’m just about to unblock her for this. I just warned Jordi to stay away from Michiko because I know what she’s capable of. She might be sweet but she can be spi
The Badboy's Heartbeat 72ND HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLI would be lying if I’d say I’m not critically nervous about this upcoming thanksgiving dinner. Usually, thanksgiving dinner is a shitty dinner for me mostly because it’s just me, my mom and Hector. A dinner for three shouldn’t be that shitty but for the three of us, it was the shittiest that I have to suck up for years. We don’t have that much food served on the table mostly because they’ve spent their coins on coke and weeds and that’s okay, I don’t usually give a fuck about them pampering their vices. The only thing that makes the dinner unpleasant was Hector’s constant portrayal of his supposed alpha dominance and his unabashed display of being the so called man of the house. It was sucking all of the air in the room.Ever since my dad announced to me that I will be going to thanksgiving dinner with his family, I haven’t stopped thinking about what would happen. I had a lot of questions in mind and they’re all pretty much leaning towards negative. I can’t help but
The Badboy's Heartbeat 73RD CHAPTER
XAVIER ROCKWELLDad’s house looked visibly and aesthetically expensive on the outside. I’m sure he got the best architect in the industry just to build this breathtaking mansion. The house was made out of stones and glass and there’s even two pools and a Jacuzzi. They even got some tropical plants and I just don’t how to react. I could still remember the house that dad got for me and my mom, it was still a big house but it wasn’t as expensive as this. He really got his shot for his true family and just bought a bootleg version for his mistress and bastard.When we finally got inside the house I was even more stupefied to see that the inside was even more designed with expensive looking stuff made out of marbles and crystals and all of the shiny stuff. There are two side by side statues of cherubim welcoming us by the door. And as I stepped inside following my dad, I was quick to notice the floor was made out of good marbles and they were glistening. I was instantly ashamed to walk wit
The Badboy's Heartbeat 74TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThis year’s thanksgiving dinner with our family was promising to be nothing but a boring one most especially when I learned that Xavier had to attend his dad’s family dinner last minute. I was really hoping that he would be a great addition to the dining table and his presence would at least provide a timely and healthy conversation. My grandma’s no longer here with us and there’s without a doubt that me, my mom and my dad are all going to miss her riddled speeches and her five-minute monologues that kept the dinner alive. Those are special and it’s not because she’s always reading us to filth but she’s also expressing how she truly loved and cared for every single one of us and how we could become a better person and how she’s thankful for everything. My grandma was a very lovely human being and she had true depth in her. Surely, we all are going to miss that for the rest of our lives. Apart from that, my dad’s sister hasn’t reached out if she’s going to join us this yea
The Badboy's Heartbeat 75TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSAs the holiday rolled to an end, I was already having a mild hangover for the event that had transpired during thanksgiving. I still couldn’t believe my parents were fine with me being gay and they were very much expressive about it. I think my fear and uncertainly stemmed from every horrible story that I’ve heard of from people like me. I know it’s hard being hidden in the closet and choosing to come out to your parents is an undeniably rough journey for most. The mundane world riddled with different beliefs carefully made everyone believe that the default gender is male and female. What if there’s a world where people don’t have to come out?I think I’m very much lucky to have a family that don’t give a single shit if I was gay or not, or if I were to wear a gown or a suit, or if I choose to gawk over at naked men rather than naked women. My grandmother started the ripple and I am unbelievably fortunate to have the parents that I have. I still can’t believe they knew wh
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